Tag Archives: dating

Dating Don’ts: First Date Fashion Faux Pas

First dates are always nerve-wracking—that’s a given. So many questions! Where will we go? What if I’m gassy? Should I let him pay or should I offer to split the tab? What will we talk about? Will he like me? More importantly, will I like him?

All valid queries, but possibly the most pressing question any of us worry about is, what in the hell am I going to wear? Keep reading »

Girl Talk: Placing A Personal Ad (Almost) Ruined My Will To Date

When I was offered the opportunity to be one of “New York’s Most Eligible Bachelorettes” in a major local magazine, I laughed out loud. “There’s no way I will ever meet a guy that way,” I complained to my friends. “Why even bother? I already meet tons of guys. They just all suck. Plus, I’m happy alone.” After much coaxing, I decided my friends were right. I couldn’t turn down a professional photo shoot or an opportunity to get as close as I ever would to my fantasy of becoming the next “Bachelorette.” If only I liked to wear bikinis and go bungee-jumping, maybe ABC would consider me for the series. Keep reading »

Girl Talk: He’s Slept With 150 Women But Won’t Have Sex With Me

He does not want to sleep with me. It’s been three weeks and nothing. Not just nothing—I mean the complete absence of sexuality in an awkward, platonic way. We go out to dinner several nights a week and we kiss, hug, and hold hands in public. I’ve met most of his friends at this point and we’ve even spent nights together. And yet, nothing. I have tried every trick in the book to get him to seal the deal—I’ve smooched and even fondled him. And yet Matt remands steadfast and as abstinent as a priest. Keep reading »

Girl Talk: Does Every Guy Have A Kate In His Past?

My name is Kate. Just Kate—not Kathleen or Catherine or anything like that. I’ve always really liked my name. I like that it’s one quick, strong syllable. I like that it means “pure.” I like that it’s a woman’s name and isn’t at all girly like Katie. I even like the celebrities—Kate Winslet and Cate Blanchett—who share my name.

However, I don’t like that it’s really freaking common. Keep reading »

Sound Off: Can Antidepressants Be A Dating Dealbreaker?

If you’re on antidepressants, chances are, the person you’re dating will find out. (If they don’t, then you’re really good about keeping a secret, and maybe they should be worrying about something else.) Maybe it’s not a big deal, and maybe your partner is even on medication. But for some women, this discovery can become a pivotal point in the relationship. As someone who has been on antidepressants for more than half of my life, I’ve dealt with this confrontation on several occasions. Some of the men I’ve dated have appeared to not care, or just didn’t feel like delving into the emotional side of why (that’s fine—not like I enjoy explaining these things). Others have suddenly looked at me differently, as if the confident, charismatic woman I am didn’t come from within, but from a pill. Keep reading »

12 Ways To Compliment A Woman

Gifts are nice, but, baby, the best things in life are free. Especially when it comes to your special lady, compliments can go a long way, even longer than giving her a fancy pair of diamond earrings! OK, maybe not that far … But seriously, making a woman feel wanted, appreciated, and totally gorgeous will make her the kind of happy money just can’t buy. So, save your dough, and try some of this sweet talk. Keep reading »

What Do You Do When A Guy Sends You A Drink?

I went out for dinner on Saturday with a group of friends, and throughout the night, this guy kept catching my eye. I really wasn’t attracted to him so I didn’t make a big deal out of the situation. Then, as my dinner was winding down, the server came over and told me someone at the bar would like to buy me a drink. I accepted another glass of moscato wine and lifted my glass to thank him when he looked over at me. I haven’t been on the dating scene in more than two years and was perplexed over what to do next … and so were my friends, which included one married couple. So when he came over to talk to me, I thought it would be less awkward if we talked alone. I knew I had absolutely no interest in this guy, but I didn’t want to be rude. The conversation, however, was really awkward, especially when he told me he was a “lobstertrician” (whatever that means). And I thought there must have been a polite way I could have accepted the drink, but bowed out of the conversation respectfully without hurting his feelings. Do you have any suggestions on how this situation could have gone differently? And if I had been attracted to the guy, what would have been the suave, flirty way to handle this? Keep reading »

365 Days In Paris: Love Lost

I’m devastated. And so paralyzed by losing Alex that I can hardly move. I don’t know how I’m supposed to get through my day, and feel as if I’ve almost forgotten how to walk, talk, sleep, eat, or think. Things will get better, I know. But for the moment, I’m really in the thick of it, and kicking myself for knowing I’d likely find myself here in the first place.

The week was quiet after Alex left Paris last Sunday. Later that same evening, I heard from him on IM. He told me he had gotten home safe and had a great time. I tried to keep the conversation going, but he was fairly unresponsive, and remained that way in the following days. I figured he was taking time to digest, and that the best thing to do was to give him some space. But around Thursday, my heart couldn’t take the silence for much longer, and after a public breakdown I had to email him. “We obviously have a significant history,” I wrote. “And the wonderful time we had together last week left me wondering if we’re getting back into it, or if I should expect not to see you again.” Keep reading »

Dear Wendy: When Exes Rear Their Ugly Heads

My ex, who I dated for all of six months about three years ago, wants to reconnect. After the breakup, he moved far away to a completely different state and I haven’t seen or talked to him since he horribly ended it by taping a note to my car window. We weren’t together for very long but when we were, everything just seemed right. When he ended it, I was devastated. Well, he recently called me on Christmas Eve to wish me “Merry Christmas” and to ask how I’ve been doing. I’ve been dating someone else for a long time and I consider my new relationship to be very serious. Since he’s called, we’ve exchanged emails and Facebook messages almost daily and have talked on the phone occasionally. He’s back home visiting family and has asked to see me before he leaves. I told him I’d meet him for lunch in a few days, but I’m nervous about seeing him again and I’m worried that my old feelings will come back. He keeps telling me that I’m the last serious relationship he’s had and, since I’m taken, he’s going to have to either wait until I’m “back on the market so he can sweep me off my feet” or be single forever. What do I do? Should I stand him up and take the guilt, or confront my past in all of its not-so-glory-ness? — Second Guessing

Keep reading »

Social Media’s A Stage, And We’re All Merely Players

Hey, breaking news, guys: the paper of record has just discovered that social media makes breaking up harder than it used to be. In an article called “Breaking Up in a Digital Fishbowl,” The New York Times reports that in this day of shared email passwords, Facebook, Twitter and various other social media platforms, it’s nearly impossible to truly disconnect from an ex:

[The] idea of what it means to break up is [also] being redefined. Where once a spurned lover could use scissors (literally) to cut an ex out of the picture, digital images of the smiling couple in happier days abound on the Web and are difficult to delete. Status updates and tweets have a way of wending their way back to scorned exes, thanks to the interconnectedness of social media. And breakups, awkward and drawn-out in person, are even more so online as details are parsed by the curious, their faces pressed against the digital glass.

Even for those of us who have been spared messy online breakups, it isn’t exactly news that sites like Facebook redefine (and invent new) dating rituals that are complex and difficult to navigate. Though the article lacks any actual news, it does give us an excuse to revisit the issue, one that brings many questions to the forefront. Like: is the convenience of connection worth the price of our privacy? And: are we merely “performers” on the stage of social media platforms, continually changing our role as our relationships to the other players change and evolve? Keep reading »

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