OK, first of all, let me make it clear that I don’t believe in the concept of “the one.” I think each of us has more like the “top 40” or even “winning 100,” depending on how much ground you cover. But even in a world brimming with possibilities, at some point in our lives most of us have found ourselves infatuated with a guy who was just completely wrong for us. Not that he was necessarily a bad guy—he was just a dude we should’ve relegated to fling territory instead of fooling ourselves into thinking had long-term potential.
Here are a few factors that may give you a case of the stupids… Keep reading »
Famous lady author Candace Bushnell has cracked the whip against the term “cougar” in an op-ed published in the upcoming issue of More magazine. So what if the “Sex and the City” writer is 50 and her hubby (a ballet dancer … hot) is 10 years younger? Don’t call the lady a “cougar!” She wonders, rightfully so, why every time a woman breaks through some kind of uncharted territory they receive an annoying label—like when successful business women are called “ball busters” or “ice queens.” (Sorry Anna Wintour, it’s kind of true in your case.) Keep reading »
Have you ever used competition as a way of flirting with someone you’re hot for? That’s what Merri’s up to. In the latest episode of “MERRIme.com,” she’s got her eye on Jeffrey and proposes a game of tennis. A little flirty competition can’t hurt, can it? Hmmm… [MERRIme.com
] Keep reading »
Guys can be fickle, or, as the French say, “huge jerks who don’t call women back.” Sometimes, though, we’ve got a pretty valid excuse for not picking up the phone. After the jump, why men might not call you back for that second date. Keep reading »
Nothing spells quarter-life crisis more than turning your world upside down to move to France without much thought as to how it will affect your career, happiness, relationships, or bank account.
I am about to turn 24 in a few days. And a few days after that, I’m packing up my life into two suitcases (somehow) and moving to Paris for a year. While I don’t quite fit into the mid-twenties bracket when the quarter-life crisis traditionally sets in, I knew about six months ago that it was beginning to happen.
Two years out of college, the regularity of my life had become puzzling. On the one hand, I realized how I was settling in with the idea of being a “grown-up.” On the other, the lack of transitions was starting to get to me. It’s ironic how you spend the first 22 years (if not more) of your life in transition with markers of beginnings and ends. Change, to me, was a comforting constant.
During this two-year period, I began dreaming of Paris. I’d spent my junior year abroad there. It wasn’t the most fantastic year of my life, and I even left the city thinking I’d never be able to live there again, but, yeah, I changed. A lot. Keep reading »
I was raised in a household that revolved around my mother. She was a narcissist, someone who, according to Wendy Behary, director of the Cognitive Therapy Center of New Jersey and author of Disarming the Narcissist: Surviving and Thriving with the Self-Absorbed is “often self-absorbed and preoccupied with a need to achieve the perfect image (recognition, status, or being envied) and have little or no capacity for listening, caring, or understanding the needs of others.” My mom hasn’t been formally diagnosed—few narcissists seek treatment or even recognize that they have a problem—but growing up, the signs were all around me. Read more …
Is Narcissism Keeping You From Finding Love?
Are You Dating A Narcissist?
Are You Narcissistic? Keep reading »
Things like this happen when you least expect them. There you are on a Saturday morning, doing laundry and listening to your boyfriend sing, “Girls, Girls, Girls” in the shower for the millionth time when you catch a whiff of a perfume that is definitely not yours on his favorite t-shirt. You crane your neck to catch the strains of, “I’m such a good, good boy / I just need a new toy,” and wonder, could he be cheating?
If you confront your man, and your suspicions are confirmed, will you join the ranks of Hillary Clinton and Tammy Faye Baker to stand by your man? Jacqueline Kennedy Onassis once said, “I do not think there are any men who are faithful to their wives.” Well, John F. Kennedy certainly wasn’t, but do all men have the cheating bug in them? Is a relationship, once soiled with adultery, gone for good? Read more … Keep reading »
One of the first times I went on a date with a girl, she asked me, “Are you bi or gay?”
“Well, I’m still figuring that out,” I told her.
Her response was: “I knew you were too good to be true.” I then fell all over myself in an effort to explain to her that, although I was unsure about how to define my sexuality, I was definitely into girls, more so than I’m into guys. I am not and have never been bi-curious, bi for attention or bi only when men are around. Since then, I’ve figured out that I’m solely into girls. So I guess I wasn’t too good to be true, huh?
But, alas, in parts of the gay community, being bi or being a lesbian who has hooked up with guys in the past is like having horns or an incurable disease.
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Yesterday’s cautionary tale about Googling your date got me thinking. My last blind date (before which I did no investigation) was seriously a nightmare.
As Tom and I sat down for a glass of wine, he launched right in: “I am under investigation by the Federal Government.” I smiled and laughed. “I’m serious,” he said with a strangely vacant smile. “What for?” I asked shifting in my seat and starting to sweat a little bit. “They are accusing me of insider trading, but I’m innocent.” “Great!” I said relieved. “Unless I get indicted,” he said, “then I would go to jail.” I gulped my wine down, asked for the check, and sprinted in the rain as fast as I could to the nearest subway station.
So now my friend wants to set me up on a blind date and I want to make extra sure that I have all the dirt on this dude before proceeding. Never again will I suffer a repeat of the Tom scenario. So, following Wendy’s sage advice, I Googled this guy’s name AND email address.
Keep reading »