Tag Archives: dating

Dear Wendy: “My Boyfriend Grosses Me Out!”

My long-term boyfriend is a wonderful person. My only issue is that he’s a little lax about personal cleanliness. For example, last weekend he admitted that he’d had a nosebleed and cleared it out by blowing his nose in the shower. He told me this as an explanation for why I might see red flecks on the shower wall, as he’d cleaned up a bit while he was in the shower, but hadn’t gotten to everything. I got snippy/grossed out about why he’d told me this instead of just cleaning up the rest himself, but he just laughed it off before turning back to his video game and I calmed down after replacing my loofah, which had been in the line of fire. (This is gross, right? Or am I alone in this?) Another example is that I’ve been noticing for months that after he uses the bathroom at home, he barely runs the tap water — probably not long enough to use soap. I finally brought it up on our way to work today, and he explained that he only bothers with soap after #2 since he doesn’t “need” it after #1. I don’t want to start a fight over something trivial and sound like a nag, but I also don’t want to spend my days cleaning up his bodily fluids and cringing every time he touches our future children. How can I encourage him to up his standards a bit without sounding like his micromanaging ex? — Grossed Out

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6 Signs You Are Completely And Totally Over Him

This morning, as part of my pre-work routine, I logged onto Facebook and noticed it was my friend Joel’s birthday. As I was clicking over to his page to leave a “Happy birthday!” message on his wall, it suddenly occurred to me, Wait. That means it’s his birthday as well. My ex, that is. It had slipped my mind completely. It was the first year since we broke up that I had completely forgotten, where I didn’t have it on my mind for at least a few days, eager to use it as an excuse to email him — not because I wanted to get back together, mind you, but because I still was slightly invested in how he was doing and what he was up to. But this year, I forgot his birthday and wouldn’t have remembered if I hadn’t been reminded, inadvertently, by Facebook. As for using it as an excuse to email him? Meh. I have taxes to do.

It seems to me that forgetting an ex’s birthday is a pretty solid sign that you are over it. Over him, over the relationship, over the anger, over the heartbreak. Happy birthday, indeed! It took me a long while to get here, I’ll admit, but over the last few months I’ve noticed some other signs that I’ve officially closed the book on that relationship and how it ended. Keep reading »

Sweet Jealous Vs. Crazy Jealous: A Primer

As just about any episode of “Jersey Shore” can prove, there’s nothing more poisonous to a relationship than unbridled jealousy. (*cough* Ronnie and Sammi *cough*) Nothing is quite so off-putting as the insecurity that makes you not trust someone — or makes your partner think you can’t be trusted.

But let’s be honest: sometimes a little jealousy is appreciated. It shows he cares! I thought it was totally adorable last week when the dude I’m dating confessed to a bit of seeing green. We were at a party playing air hockey when a platonic male friend/former coworker of mine walked in. I stopped air hockey for a second and greeted my buddy warmly with a hug. Later on, my dude told me he felt a little twinge of jealousy watching me hug another guy (even though he knows we’re just friends). I thought, Aww, that’s silly — but cute that he cares! Even if jealousy isn’t always rational, it can be kind of sweet.

After the jump, a primer on “sweet jealous” versus “crazy jealous” — an important distinction: Keep reading »

Do You Ever Get The Bedroom Blues?

Most of us are happy campers after a roll in the hay, but sometimes, not so much. A new study found that more than 30 percent of women have experienced the post-sex blues at some point in their lives and about 10 percent claimed that they have experienced it often. Symptoms may include tearfulness, anxiety, irritability, or restlessness immediately following sexual intercourse. Researchers found the cause of the postcoital funk to be unknown. At first they thought it would be linked to a history of rape or sexual abuse, but the correlation was only moderate. So, you know what that means? There’s something wrong with us ladies if we’re not positively glowing after getting some d**k. No way! I can hardly imagine that scenario because sex is always perfect and never awkward. We never think that dudes suck in bed or regret sleeping with them or feel sexually unsatisfied or disappointed. And that never leads to the bedroom blues. Never. [Live Science] Keep reading »

10 Signs You May Be An Emotional Tampon

On this week’s episode of the “Savage Love” podcast, a 24-year-old man called in to ask what he should do about his ex who always calls him to talk about her problems, but sometimes his calls or texts will go unanswered for months. He thinks they might get back together, yet it never seems to happen. He’s dating a new woman he really likes, but his ex seems to psychically sense it and has amped up communication. Dan Savage sagely advises the guy to “stop being her emotional tampon.” We’ve all encountered this man before, but until now, I wasn’t aware that there was such a fitting phase for his breed. An “emotional tampon” is a man who will always be there to provide a woman with the proverbial shoulder to cry on and be available for her anytime of the day or night to vent her emotional frustration, problems, and mental instabilities. (Thank you to John DeVore and Urban Dictionary for a more thorough explanation.) Guys, don’t let this bloody fate befall you. After the jump, 10 signs that you may be an emotional tampon. Keep reading »

Girl Talk: Can Men Smell It When A Woman Is Suddenly Unavailable?

So, you know, I have a boyfriend now. It’s pretty awesome. I’m psyched. I’m happy. I must be radiating blissfully coupled up vibes into the stratosphere because in the last two days, three dudes with whom I have had serious romantic feelings for, hooked up with and/or dated have come out of the woodwork after a lengthy absence and have tried to bark up my tree. It’s like Cupid’s Evil Cousin whispered in their ears, “Amelia is happy, fulfilled, and no longer interested in dating or DTF — don’t you suddenly want to give her a shout?” Keep reading »

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