“You think love means someone has to get hurt terribly,” said my love guru.
I had just finished recounting my entire dating history for her — from middle school until present day. It took up nearly the entire session. I told her about the boyfriend who had blindsided me by telling me he was gay, the guy who left me for the woman he eventually married, and finally, my regrettable one-night stand marathon immediately following my sister’s wedding. Keep reading »
The romantic gesture: a lovely thing or reserved for creepy stalkers? Blogger Joshua Lyon, writing for Thought Catalog, seems to feel that the romantic gesture is dying. He talks about being branded “scary intense” for writing a letter to a man he had a crush on and suggesting an old-fashioned correspondence. That seems rather sweet to me. Also, he mentions a time when a boyfriend pulled a “Say Anything” and played “In Your Eyes” on a boombox at his window, Lloyd Dobler-style. He found it to be “one of the bravest and most romantic things” anyone had ever done for him. I see what he’s getting at. The grand romantic gesture does deserve a rightful place in the world of wooing. But it can walk the fine line of “creepiness.” Romantic gestures only work when being done by the right person in the right way. For example, a guy I was dating once had a handwritten note couriered over to my office to ask me out on a date. Sweet! Another time, a man I had exchanged a smile with followed me home from the grocery store to leave a letter of admiration on my doorstep. Frightening! After the jump, the difference between sweet/romantic and creepy/romantic. [Thought Catalog] Keep reading »
Whoever decided that asking for someone’s ‘number’ would be a good way to find out their sexual history must really suck at dating and wants everyone else to suck at it too. Springing this question on a person is confusing and it should stop right now!
While out on the town, a guy I was seeing asked what my ‘number’ was and when I jokingly replied with 867-5309 he looked at me with disgust, walked away and I never heard from him again. What could’ve gone wrong? He said he loved to kid around. Silly me! I reflected after sobbing during my lonely taxi ride home, he must’ve been referring to my sex digits, not my telephone digits. How the heck was I supposed to know that? Read more… Keep reading »
Before I start here, I need to explain why the distinction between the type of “work” I’m talking about here is different from the typical kind of “job” drudgery lamented in endless Dilbert comics and annoying Facebook status updates. The type of workplace referenced here is the kind that serves as a funnel for your passions, not an obstacle between you and the weekend. Keep reading »
A new study says that it could be your fault if he’s considering cheating on you. No, not because you’re not putting out enough or you nag too much. It’s because you scold him when he ogles other women. The study found that men who were interrupted while admiring attractive women reported to be more likely to cheat on their S.O. if given the chance. Why? It’s the “forbidden fruit” principle. He wants it more, because you tell him he can’t have it. I feel the same way about chocolate. I am very likely to cheat on my diet if I am scolded for my ogling of sweets. I have no self control. I am victim to my animal impulses and therefore not responsible for my actions. Thanks for understanding. [Men's Health] Keep reading »
For the last few years, I’ve been a mentor to a former student of mine from my days as a junior high school teacher. Now that she is out of college, we have become friends, or more like older sister/ younger sister, or somewhere between parent and peer. I met her when she was 15. Now she’s 22. The other evening she was telling me about this guy she’s been dating on and off. In short, I do not approve of him. Listening to her talk, I remembered how when I was her age, I was in a very similar dating situation. I wanted to shake her and say, “Dump his ass now!” But that wouldn’t be right. If someone had said that to me, I would have laughed at them and then told them to f**k off. I wanted to spare her all of the pain, all of the mistakes I made myself. But I suppose I can’t. Sigh. Such is life. People learn in their own time. Instead, I offer my unsolicited advice about what I wish I knew about dating when I was 22 and hope that she reads it and figures it out for herself. Add your dating wisdom nuggets in the comments. Keep reading »