My only other relationship with a French guy was a short-lived fling towards the end of my junior year abroad in Paris. Knowing I was leaving soon, we started off light and casual, but a month into things he broke it off. We met up late (as usual) for a drink when he told me, “I’m not in love with you; therefore, I can’t make love to you anymore.” It seemed like the most absurd excuse—since when did hooking up with a girl who was leaving the country in two months necessitate love? Offended, I downed the rest of my gin and tonic, stood up and said, “I’m going.” It was perhaps my most “Sex and the City” moment. God, I was angry.
Up until now, I’d always looked at that experience as the most ridiculous way to break up with someone. Now, in a completely ironic twist, I decided to use the same strategy to break up with Mr. Cupid. Keep reading »
According to one of my former boyfriends, he absolutely hated me when first we met. I have to say the feeling was mutual. I had just gotten off a red-eye from New York to London and was tired, cranky, and hadn’t showered. No wonder he didn’t love me right off the bat.
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I recently met David through my blog. He was charming, witty and funny. After a bit of friendly Twirting (flirting via Twitter, the equivalent of computer footsie), he said he thought I was pretty funny too and even admitted to being a bit intimidated when I told him how strong my physical disability, Freeman-Sheldon Syndrome, had made my arms. This bone and muscular disorder has resulted in more than 26 surgeries to correct joint contractures, scoliosis and to straighten my leg muscles. You’d be amazed how strong my arms could get just from using a walker for 20+ years. They’re like giant muscles of steel, only smaller and dotted with cute freckles.
Well, this was a first, so feeling a bit bold, I asked him to guest-post from the male perspective on a question that has nagged me since my days in high school when I’d look at other girls and how the guys easily flocked to them. The question: Why are guys so reluctant to date – at the very least, approach – a woman with a disability? Keep reading »
A few days ago, I became convinced that Mr. C had gone on a date with another woman and lied to cover it up. The evidence:
- The morning of the incident, he had logged in to OK Cupid. It had previously been almost two weeks since he had.
- He kept changing our plans, sort of suspiciously. At first, we were to get a drink post-work, around 7:30. Then, he emailed to say that he was suddenly going to have dinner at his friend’s house, which is pretty much in the suburbs. He’d call me between 7 and 8 to set up something for later, around 9:30. Hmm … seemed unlikely to me that he’d make a 9:30 p.m. date back in the center of Paris.
- He didn’t call until 11 p.m. And he always, always calls when he says he will. And, he left his message in English. He always leaves voicemails in French. This one felt off and his excuses seemed rushed and disconnected.
- The next morning, he sent me an email apologizing, explaining what happened. He got very caught up in a game of Scrabble and had lost track of the time. His description of the Scrabble game just seemed a bit too detailed and contrived.
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I’ve been writing relationship advice for nearly ten years now and the number-one question I get asked—by readers and friends alike—isn’t anything filthy or even fun. It is: “How come I can’t meet anyone?”
Depending on your situation, there are a variety of answers to this question, but mostly, finding someone to tongue wrestle with on a regular basis comes down to a combination of luck and timing. That said, there are things you can do to ensure that you never even come close to falling in love. Keep reading »
Online dating website OKCupid has posted an entry on its blog that takes a close look at its users’ email response patterns according to race. The results might not be surprising, but they’re nevertheless significant—a sender’s race plays a large role in whether he/she will get a response. By comparing the write-back rate of Asian, black, white, Hispanic, Middle Eastern, Pacific Islander, Indian, and Native American men and women, the website finds that correspondence is noticeably less or more than what the write-back rate “should” be. In a nutshell, OKCupid breaks down the research, which analyzed about a million users. White men get the most responses. Black women respond the most yet receive far fewer replies. White, Asian, and Hispanic women largely prefer white men. OKCupid calls this racism:
“[We] are about to basically prove that, despite what you might’ve heard from the Obama campaign and organic cereal commercials, racism is alive and well.
Do you think it’s racist to have race preferences in the man or woman you date? Are you a racist if you’re not attracted to a certain race? [Blog.OkCupid.com] Keep reading »
I was in 8th grade when my first boyfriend, Jeremy, made me a mix tape featuring my favorite song, “Jeremy” by Pearl Jam. Coincidence? Not. I have been known to fall for a guy for the most ludicrous reasons, like, say, being the namesake of my favorite song, having an organized wallet, or rocking some snazzy sneakers. Sure, Jeremy had the right name to grab my interest, but he really sealed the deal with the mix tape and affixed love note — “My favorite songs and yours. Love, Jer.”
A lot has happened since then. My cassette tapes have all been donated to Goodwill (except Jer’s … I still have it) and my heart has grown more sophisticated (I think), but the fact remains the same. For me, falling for a guy is all in the details. I don’t care about how much hair you have, how swanky your apartment is, or how much money you’ve got in the bank. It’s the little things you do to show that you care that make me swoon like a lunatic. Keep reading »
On the season finale of “MERRIme.com,” Mr. Weisman interrupts Merri’s “binge” and reinstates his original ultimatum. MAC and Jess comfort a very down-and-out Merri, when a familiar face arrives on her doorstep. Who could it be? Cliffhanger, cliffhanger? [MERRIme.com
] Keep reading »