Tag Archives: dating

Dear Wendy: “Should I Stay With My Boyfriend Or Move Back Home?”

I moved out east for grad school, and I happened upon a great guy — he saw me through the rough transition of living here, helped while I was a foster parent for a year, and is overall the best guy I’ve ever dated. Here’s the issue: he’ll be moving to a nearby city for a new job soon, and I’ll be graduating in a few months and I don’t know whether to move with him or head back out west. Here, I have him, but a place I do NOT like. Also, we’re both on the shy side, so building a social network will take some time. Out west, I have friends, family, much better career options, and cities that I LOVE. I may never meet another guy like him, and I love him so much. But I also can see myself angrily saying that “I gave up everything for you,” and that would eat away at our relationship. He feels much the same about staying here as I do about returning home. This is the most mature, loving relationship I’ve ever had the privilege to be in; I want to maintain it. But I think staying here might destroy it. — Homeward Bound

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Online Dating: Bringing People Who Already Know Each Other Together?

This weekend, I joined an online dating site for the third time in a year. Every time I meet someone new and start dating him, I end up deleting my account. Maybe this is the kiss of death, actually. Maybe the next time I meet someone, I should keep my online dating profile active, as a signal to the universe that I am not about to be fooled into thinking I found someone long-term.

I’ve only been on the site (again) for a few days, so I have no dates to report on, but I have noticed a new trend among my matches. Apparently, online dating is now a great way to meet and ask out people you already know. Keep reading »

365 Days In Paris: French Sex

As much as American girls may complain about the state of dating, sex, courtship, and guys, at least we can read the signals on our own home turf. (Whether we want to believe them is a different matter.)

But over here in Paris, where the word “dating” literally does not exist in the French vocabulary, understanding male/female relationships is all the more confusing. The issue here is that French men and romance are traditionally stereotyped (just like American women, or any romantic situations for that matter). The way things are “supposed to be”: If a French dude kisses you, it means he’s fallen for you, and there’s no pretense, and a week later you’re buying toothbrushes for each other and making love to accordion music on a bed of croissants. But, when things don’t magically become this clear-cut, the confusion sets in, and there’s no rhyme or reason to actions because … well, there’s no standard dating code of conduct.

Where this leaves me at the moment is wondering if I got the brush-off, or what comes next (if there even is a “next”). Keep reading »

What’s It Like To Be With Another Girl?

It’s not news that sexual fluidity has been working its way into the mainstream. We all know the girl who experimented in college and then went back to guys, or the middle-aged woman who left her husband for some turquoise artisan in Taos named Deborah.

Both seem to be examples of the stronger sexual preference winning out in the end. But more and more, it’s becoming acceptable for women to “hop the fence” — that is, to make the occasional gender switch-up in casual sex and in long-term relationships. I know, ’cause I’m one of ‘em. Read more Keep reading »

What He Meant By That Kiss

There are many different ways to kiss your lover, and all of them can communicate something different about what or how you’re feeling. Here’s a field guide to the major types of kisses, and what you’re saying with each of them. Keep reading »

What Are Your Dating Dealbreakers?

There’s been a lot of talk lately about settling for Mr. Good Enough, due to Lori Gottlieb’s newest book, Marry Him: The Case for Settling for Mr. Good Enough. Despite the book’s provocative subtitle, however, Gottlieb’s latest opus isn’t really about settling. Rather, it’s a case for maintaining an open mind when considering new men, instead of nitpicking over inconsequential surface details. Which is why we put together a list of the 10 deal breakers that … well … shouldn’t really be considered deal breakers. Keep reading »

Girl Talk: How Much Is Too Much When It Comes To Blogging About Boyfriends?

When John Mayer’s supremely ignorant Playboy interview hit the wires, I, like most people, was appalled. Not just by his idiotic racism, but by the way he spoke about his exes. I mean, the dude compared Jessica Simpson to crack! Said she was like “sexual napalm!” What a jerk! I mean, how indiscreet!

I watched Jessica Simpson tell Oprah that no, she hadn’t forgiven him for his big fat mouth and was disappointed that he’d sunk so low. I harrumphed, “You go, Jessica!” as I high-fived my TV screen.

Then I recalled how many times I’d blabbed about exes. I’ve been writing about relationships, often my own, for the past 10 years. In that time, I’ve done some serious dishing—and dissing. The truth is, most of my recountings were far less flattering than what John had to say about Jessica.

My name is Judy and I am a hypocrite. Keep reading »

Girl Talk: Dating Shouldn’t Have To Be Expensive

I was sitting at brunch last weekend eating greasy eggs with one of my guy friends. “So, how’s the love life?” I asked.

“Eh,” Tom replied shrugging his shoulders.

“What? You’re not hunting and fishing?” I asked, doing my best Patti Stanger impression.

“Nah, it’s not that,” he said. “It’s just that dating is so … so expensive.” Expensive? That’s a new one. And sadly I’ve been hearing a lot of guys say it lately. What’s up with that? It shouldn’t be too expensive to date. Keep reading »

Use Mosquito Noises To Determine A Blind Date’s Age

This new Japanese gadget supposedly will determine a blind date’s age so you don’t have to ask them. The Age Prediction Machine emits a high-frequency buzzing sound similar to that of a mosquito, with the noise levels corresponding to age ranges — teens, 20s, 30s, and 40 and over. Supposedly, the quieter the sound, the younger the person. Although age is a touchy subject in the U.S., I can’t see this gadget being useful here. Most people I know won’t agree to go on a blind date without knowing the person’s particulars, and age is a big detail. However, it’s cool that the creators of the Age Prediction Machine are getting some buzz over here. Heh. [Impact Lab] Keep reading »

Girl Talk: Why Is Everyone So Happy I’m In A Relationship?

We were laying side by side, both face deep in our iPhones—checking our email one last time before going to sleep, setting our alarm clocks for the next morning, basically saying goodbye to the day. I turned to him, his face lit by the tiny screen, and watched him scroll through his Facebook newsfeed.

“Anything exciting?” I asked.

“My cousin really loves Drew Barrymore. Check out the exclamation marks.”

“Should we change our relationship status?” I asked, as if that were the natural follow-up. Keep reading »

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