Tag Archives: dating

What Do Female “Pickup Artists” Know About Flirting That You Don’t?

If you’ve been to bars in major metropolitan cities, chances are you’ve come into contact with a “pickup artist”: a dude who is trying to get your number by following a script. Whether he learned about pickup artistry from Neil Strauss’s book The Game or that VH1 show, “The Pickup Artist,” the guy macking on you is focused on one goal — getting women, including you, into bed.

But the opposite is not true in a “pickup artist school” for women: in fact, London’s Flirt Diva Academy focuses mainly on flirting. According to “flirt coach” Sue Ostler, flirtation is “lighting the spark to your personality and letting people see it shine through” and her Flirt Diva Academy services women ages 16 to 60 in classes like “Bag A Boyfriend” and the “Flirt Masterclass.” Or they can partake in a “Flirt, Schmooze & Shimmy” tour to hone their technique in the field at London’s hottest bars.

Helen Croydon, a journalist for the Times of London, braved the elements and a “Flirt, Schmooze & Shimmy” tour one evening. What she learned will surprise you …
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Dear Wendy: “I Got Friend-Zoned. Now What Do I Do?”

I met a guy off of a dating website recently. He is actually exactly what I’m looking for. Since we met, he has initiated most of the time we spend together. We talk about solid things — everything from weekend plans to our past relationships, families and goals. We have more in common than I ever expected. I feel great around him and happy, but the catch is he says he just wants to be friends. Although hurt, I told him it was perfectly fine because he’s a great guy and I’d love to stay friends. He looked at me and said, “Great! This means we have more opportunities to hang out — sporting events, movies, comedy shows…” and although he IS a great guy, I do have feelings for him. He totally friend-zoned me and I don’t know why. The only possibility is that he’s not physically attracted to me. I don’t know what to do; do I hang out with him and get over my feelings? Do I give him and our friendship time to see if something develops? We’ve only known each other for two months and it’s been great. I’d love to date him but he’s also admitted in the past to not wanting a relationship until he gets a few things taken care of at work, which will be this summer. What’s his deal? — Wanting More

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365 Days In Paris: French Automatic Online Dating Dealbreakers

While I was in NYC, a session with my old shrink told me that I really need to—as much as I hate, hate this expression—“put myself out there” more. “It’s not wrong to want to be in a relationship,” Dr. W reasoned. “It’s unhealthy, however, if you just sit at home all the time and do nothing about it.”

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Where Have All The Good Collegiate Dudes Gone?

One of the best parts of my college experience at NYU was sampling from the buffet of dudes on campus. It seemed like eligible men were lurking behind every dorm room door, in every lecture hall, and at every bump-and-grind dance party. College life was rife with men, whether they ended up becoming friends or more. There were certainly enough to go around. Apparently, this is not the case for the new generation of college ladies. According to The New York Times, women are totally outnumbering men on campus. The stats say that female enrollment is up to about 57 percent at most major universities (except the Ivys, where men still outnumber women) since the 2000s. So what does that mean for collegiate dating life? It means it’s in crisis. Keep reading »

How To Seduce Someone (Or Simply Get A Date)

In honor of Valentine’s Day, there’s an article in today’s Daily Mail called “How to … Seduce a Man,” written by the founder of the popular lingerie boutique Coco de Mer. The advice, which is really applicable to either sex, made me think of this weekend’s “Dear Wendy” column in which a reader asked me why she can’t get a date. I offered her some suggestions, but because a lot of us could use a refresher, check out some of the best tips for seducing someone (or simply getting a date) … Keep reading »

How To Know If He’s Just That Into You

When it comes to finding a potential soul mate, getting the date is only half the battle.

These days, small talk isn’t enough to determine if someone is into you, but you can rely on more innate signs based on a person’s body language. Sure, a big, wide smile is a good starting point, but there are other telltale signs that can also tip you off as to whether your date is into you. Keep reading »

The Top 10 Guys To Follow On Twitter For Love Advice

Just the other day, we shared with you the 10 tweeps (plus one!) you should follow on Twitter for all your dating advice needs. That list was pretty incredible, but we’re not done. Oh no. Twitter has too much to offer! Today, we present you with the top 10 guys you should be following on Twitter: guys who tweet about love, dating, relationships and the bro code. Because sometimes it’s nice to have that demystifying male perspective. Without further ado: Keep reading »

Dear Wendy: “Why Can’t I Get A Date?”

I’m a few months away from turning 20 and I have NEVER had a relationship, serious or casual. I’ve missed out on all the dating during my high school years and I’m afraid that it’ll continue throughout my 20s unless I change something. I’ve always been open to a relationship but not to the point where I had “desperate” labeled across my forehead. I’m not looking for a husband but just someone to casually date. All my girlfriends always comment that they wish they had my personality and all my guy friends always call to do girlfriend-y type stuff (shopping for his clothes, eating out with him on his lunch breaks, etc) with me [rather] than with their own girlfriends, so what’s the deal? Physically, I’ve received flattering looks and enough compliments to at least qualify as decent-looking, I don’t have weight problems as I’m very active, and I was voted most fashionable in school, meaning I don’t go out looking like a dump. Aside from the physical aspect, I’m a great student, I am well traveled, and I can speak several languages. I’m usually very outgoing and make friends easily. I lounge around and watch sports with the guys and dress up for dinner with the girls, which is why I have just as many guy friends as I do girlfriends. To add a heaping pile of salt to my wound, my guy friends and my girlfriends’ boyfriends all say the same thing about me … that I’m the girl guys want to have as a girlfriend. If that was the case, then why oh freaking why can’t I even remember the last time a guy asked me out on a date? Really, I’m just tired of family members trying to confirm and reconfirm that I am not a lesbian, but just unlucky. — Only the Bridesmaid

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20 Things No One Wants To Hear On Valentine’s Day

Hey, have you heard? Valentine’s Day is coming up! On top of worrying about what to give your date — if indeed you have one — there’s also anxiety about saying the wrong thing. What if you let the “L-word” slip and it’s only your second date? What if you get so caught up in the excitement, you accidentally call him by the wrong name? After the jump, 20 other things that are bound to be real mood-busters if you or your date say them. Keep reading »

Dear Wendy: “I’m Jealous Of My Boyfriend’s Salary”

My boyfriend and I have been together for a year now. We went to the same school, majored in the same field, graduated together, and thus have similar levels of expertise in our chosen careers. After college, I took a low-paying job at a small company with a high-level of prestige in the hopes of building a portfolio, gaining experience, making contacts, and starting my career with the respect of my peers. I have been at this same company for nearly three years without a single raise or substantial bonus while being told that I’m the “best employee” they’ve ever had. Ever since I took the job, I’ve been told by former classmates and others in the community how lucky I am to do such great work for such a prestigious company. However, the median yearly income for my profession is $15,000 more than what I make. My boyfriend, on the other hand, took an average-paying job at a large niche company. He has also been there for nearly three years and has been given stocks, bonuses, and very recently, a significant raise. My boyfriend now makes $20,000 more than I do. I’ve been trying to ignore these intense feelings of jealousy, but am losing the fight. I feel as though what I do at my job is important and the respect I’ve gained from others while doing it is priceless. But I do not make enough money to support myself (I am lucky enough to live with family), and the fact that I make so much less than my boyfriend is starting to take a big toll on my self-esteem and our relationship. — Underpaid

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