Last week, I went on my first date with Jack, the young publicist I met through work. And after I tell you all what occurred on that date, I’m confident you will understand why my first date with Jack was also our last.
After taking the initiative to ask Jack out, I figured I’d let him take the reins and plan our first date. We agreed to get together after work and didn’t have a game plan, so we decided to just play it by ear. He met me by the steps of the New York City Public Library and was as cute as I remembered, but slightly younger looking (which was probably just my subconscious reminding me that I was a cradle robber). He suggested we go grab some coffee and then maybe a bite to eat afterwards, depending on how we felt. On our walk to get caffeinated, he said, “I’m glad you asked me out. I like seeing a proactive woman who isn’t afraid to make the first move.” We were off to a great start. Keep reading »
When it comes to dating, we all do silly things to impress the object of our affection. Women may spritz and slather a variety of chemical substances on their bodies, feign an interest in or knowledge of some subject, perhaps having to do with a ball, or make a big show of nailing that particularly tight parallel parking spot. I’ve been known to go on and on about that one time I did really, really well in fantasy football. But women are not alone in our somewhat misguided attempts to impress the opposite sex. Men are just as likely — if not more so, as there’s possibly more pressure on men to impress — of saying some kind of ridiculous things to win over a date. Here are a few that really don’t work.
Don’t worry, I’ll be back to talking about penises and vaginas next week. For more Funny Girl Sex Guide, follow us on YouTube!
Nobody handles The Talk very well. Usually, it’s a stilted affair, capable of rendering even the most confidently grown to their pre-teen self, stuttering and drawing circles in the condensation left by their wineglass, assiduously avoiding eye contact. Defining the relationship, or DTR, if you’re of the ilk that favors cutesy acronyms, is a necessary evil, but something that not a single soul is very good at. The nature of modern dating is such that the traditional markers of what make a relationship real change every day and it can seem like there’s a decided lack of stability. It’s not as easy as getting someone’s letterman jacket and walking down Main Street to the soda fountain anymore. The way we date now easily lends itself to shirking real commitment. First dates in the traditional sense are replaced by weird group outings in which you attempt to get to know someone you made goopy eyes with at a bar while surrounded by a buffer three people deep, including his friends from college and that dude at work, Josh. It’s a honest miracle that anyone even makes it to The Talk, because the obstacle course that stands between you and a relationship is harrowing.
The fun doesn’t end once you’ve actually sat down and faced the person of your intent, with all your emotions out on the table. The kind of relationship you can neatly explain to your mom in a hastily composed text message is a thing of the past. It makes sense that the end result of a nebulous and frankly, confusing wooing process, is also difficult to pin down. With that in mind, here are some possible results of the dreaded Talk. Keep reading »
Young, single, and ready to mingle? We’ll admit that life as a single person isn’t always a walk in the park, but living in certain cities can help make the most out of solo life. Whether you love a fancy restaurant, dig a funky bar crawl, or are simply looking for somewhere safe to lay your head, these cities have it all. Read more on AskMen…
It’s always so uncomfortable, isn’t it? The two of you are seated at the dinner table, face to face with each other, alone. Well, there’s that third wheel friend tagging along named Awkward Silence.
Sure, you could complain about the unbearable summer weather, or talk about your job or how your team lost the game again. And if worse comes to worse, you can always “accidentally” glance at your phone and realize you were supposed to (insert ridiculous, obviously B.S. story here) before you dash away. Read more on Your Tango…
It seems that we’re still not done collectively discussing the fact that millennials are bad at relationships and obsessed with hooking up. Apparently, this issue is so baffling that the Aspen Ideas Festival hosted a panel to talk about it. This wouldn’t be much of a shocker, but on top of it, the hoopla over the topic has led to the addition of relationship classes on college campuses. As The Atlantic reports, the University of Illinois now holds dating workshops, and Duke University holds a counseling series about how to fall in love, as well as how to recognize your own romantic feelings. One Boston College professor even gives extra credit to students who will actually go on an old-fashion date during the semester, and gives suggestions for how to ask people out. Keep reading »
To give you all an update, my Stage Five Clinger is still clinging. After several days without hearing from him, which was of course the desired result from our very matter-of-fact chat, he sent me a message over the weekend that said “Hey, thinking of you and thought I’d say hi.” I obviously completely ignored his text and and am crossing my fingers that he gets the hint. Besides, I have another prospect in my sights who happens to be far less creepy. Oh, and did I mention he’s also quite a bit younger? Keep reading »
The semi-creepy travel dating website MissTravel took a survey of its members to find where the sexiest people in the world come from. The site asked both men and women to rate which nationalities they find sexiest in a partner. Obviously, sexiness is pretty subjective, but it’s all in good fun anyway! The oh-so-scientific results found that the hottest men hail from Australia while the hottest ladies come from Brazil. Keep reading »
Justin Lookadoo, also known as #LookADouche, everyone’s favorite misogynistic motivational speaker, has been arrested for public intoxication. According to an Indiana news station, he was set to speak to a group of middle school students in Evansville on Tuesday but never showed — because he was in the county jail.
Police found Justin in his car on the side of the highway, reeking of alcohol. Maybe he’d pulled over knowing he was too drunk to drive any farther; Lookadoo failed a sobriety test and was taken into custody. On Tuesday, instead of leading workshops at a Teen Power Camp with middle schoolers, he made a court appearance and was released on a bond. Keep reading »