As much as American girls may complain about the state of dating, sex, courtship, and guys, at least we can read the signals on our own home turf. (Whether we want to believe them is a different matter.)
But over here in Paris, where the word “dating” literally does not exist in the French vocabulary, understanding male/female relationships is all the more confusing. The issue here is that French men and romance are traditionally stereotyped (just like American women, or any romantic situations for that matter). The way things are “supposed to be”: If a French dude kisses you, it means he’s fallen for you, and there’s no pretense, and a week later you’re buying toothbrushes for each other and making love to accordion music on a bed of croissants. But, when things don’t magically become this clear-cut, the confusion sets in, and there’s no rhyme or reason to actions because … well, there’s no standard dating code of conduct.
Where this leaves me at the moment is wondering if I got the brush-off, or what comes next (if there even is a “next”). Keep reading »
It’s not news that sexual fluidity has been working its way into the mainstream. We all know the girl who experimented in college and then went back to guys, or the middle-aged woman who left her husband for some turquoise artisan in Taos named Deborah.
Both seem to be examples of the stronger sexual preference winning out in the end. But more and more, it’s becoming acceptable for women to “hop the fence” — that is, to make the occasional gender switch-up in casual sex and in long-term relationships. I know, ’cause I’m one of ‘em. Read more … Keep reading »
There are many different ways to kiss your lover, and all of them can communicate something different about what or how you’re feeling. Here’s a field guide to the major types of kisses, and what you’re saying with each of them. Keep reading »
There’s been a lot of talk lately about settling for Mr. Good Enough, due to Lori Gottlieb’s newest book, Marry Him: The Case for Settling for Mr. Good Enough. Despite the book’s provocative subtitle, however, Gottlieb’s latest opus isn’t really about settling. Rather, it’s a case for maintaining an open mind when considering new men, instead of nitpicking over inconsequential surface details. Which is why we put together a list of the 10 deal breakers that … well … shouldn’t really be considered deal breakers. Keep reading »
When John Mayer’s supremely ignorant Playboy interview hit the wires, I, like most people, was appalled. Not just by his idiotic racism, but by the way he spoke about his exes. I mean, the dude compared Jessica Simpson to crack! Said she was like “sexual napalm!” What a jerk! I mean, how indiscreet!
I watched Jessica Simpson tell Oprah that no, she hadn’t forgiven him for his big fat mouth and was disappointed that he’d sunk so low. I harrumphed, “You go, Jessica!” as I high-fived my TV screen.
Then I recalled how many times I’d blabbed about exes. I’ve been writing about relationships, often my own, for the past 10 years. In that time, I’ve done some serious dishing—and dissing. The truth is, most of my recountings were far less flattering than what John had to say about Jessica.
My name is Judy and I am a hypocrite. Keep reading »
I was sitting at brunch last weekend eating greasy eggs with one of my guy friends. “So, how’s the love life?” I asked.
“Eh,” Tom replied shrugging his shoulders.
“What? You’re not hunting and fishing?” I asked, doing my best Patti Stanger impression.
“Nah, it’s not that,” he said. “It’s just that dating is so … so expensive.” Expensive? That’s a new one. And sadly I’ve been hearing a lot of guys say it lately. What’s up with that? It shouldn’t be too expensive to date. Keep reading »
This new Japanese gadget supposedly will determine a blind date’s age so you don’t have to ask them. The Age Prediction Machine emits a high-frequency buzzing sound similar to that of a mosquito, with the noise levels corresponding to age ranges — teens, 20s, 30s, and 40 and over. Supposedly, the quieter the sound, the younger the person. Although age is a touchy subject in the U.S., I can’t see this gadget being useful here. Most people I know won’t agree to go on a blind date without knowing the person’s particulars, and age is a big detail. However, it’s cool that the creators of the Age Prediction Machine are getting some buzz over here. Heh. [Impact Lab] Keep reading »
We were laying side by side, both face deep in our iPhones—checking our email one last time before going to sleep, setting our alarm clocks for the next morning, basically saying goodbye to the day. I turned to him, his face lit by the tiny screen, and watched him scroll through his Facebook newsfeed.
“Anything exciting?” I asked.
“My cousin really loves Drew Barrymore. Check out the exclamation marks.”
“Should we change our relationship status?” I asked, as if that were the natural follow-up. Keep reading »
Dating. It’s the nightmare from which you never wake up. Why do we do it? Because it’s the best way to find the guy we want to marry. And why do we want to get married? So we never have to date again. Find out the seven types of guys you’re more than likely to end up dating along the way. Don’t say we didn’t warn you, girlfriend. Keep reading »
It took me three days to come up with a witty and grammatically correct text to send to Scrappy Bathroom Boy (not the best nickname I realize), the guy I’d met at the Prescription Cocktail Club last Saturday. Why is it so hard to find my personality in this language? I wondered as I made revision after revision of the message in French. Finally, on Tuesday, I trashed my drafts and went for something simple and direct: “It was nice meeting you. Sorry, I just wasn’t up for the late night thing last Saturday, but would have liked to join you and your friends. If you want, maybe we can get a drink sometime this week.” Phew! My heart raced as I sent it off. I couldn’t help holding back a smile at the thought of finally going on a date. When was the last time I had been on one? It had to be early November with American Boy. November. Jesus. Keep reading »