Passive aggressive behavior is probably on most people’s list of annoying qualities in another person. Scratch that, passive aggressive behavior usually falls into the category of legit reasons to banish someone for your life. I have never been pro passive aggression, in fact, I get rather peeved when someone pulls the hot/cold routine on me. I think my thoughts on passive aggression and its unfailing ability to make any situation worse is probably shared by most of you. Over the past week or so I have posted on the complexities of friendship, especially girlfriendship, and many of you commented that the tendency for girls to engage in passive aggression was one of the number one reasons you did not pursue female friendships. I was totally on board with this popular sentiment until I realized that not only have I been acting all passive aggressive myself this week, but I was glad I had. Keep reading »
A few weeks ago I wrote about how I wasn’t sure if I was really ready to be dating again, that I was still dealing with the lingering effects of my last relationship in which my fiance ended things suddenly.
“…I desperately fear, in all sincerity, that I will never again find someone who loved me like my ex-fiance did. And that even if I do, they will likely leave me the way he did. Isn’t that pathetic?”
A friend of mine emailed me, specifically about that line, saying it wasn’t what she expected to hear me say. Keep reading »
It’s a rough and tumble world out there, especially when it comes to dating and relationships. Many of us as children were taught to follow the Ten Commandments, or some version of it, in order to ensure that we become good people or “Leave It To Beaver” neighbors. I can’t remember them all off the top of my head, and it would take a real minor miracle for me to recite them all in order, but in general you can’t go terribly wrong following them…except when it comes to dating. Maybe the commandments were never intended to cover the tricky navigation of romance, but when you apply the Ten Commandments to dating…oh what a mess you find yourself in! Keep reading »
Yesterday I wrote Advice For The Vertically Challenged and was surprised by some of the comments. Many quite fairly pointed out that perhaps my definition of “short” should be revised, or that I should be clear that just because I feel short at 5′ 5″ does not make this height or anything bellow it qualify as “short.” What really struck a chord with me, however, were comments concerning height differences when it comes to dating. I started thinking about my own reasons for feeling short and realized that it was mostly due to the fact that most of the men I have dated have been at least six feet tall. Hmmm, I wonder… Keep reading »
I’ve only dated a few men that are shorter than me. And when I say “a few” I mean one. Maybe two if I really dig—deep into the Dead Sea perhaps. I have definitely dated a lot of guys that are within an inch or two of my own height.
Being in a relationship with a shorter man does not bother me one bit. In fact, I think there should be more couples with shorter men and taller women. But if I have no problem at all, why do I usually find myself with those 6’2” fellows? Keep reading »
Think of fireflies, and you might recall memories of summer where you looked at the flashing lights hovering over a field, or even ran through them, trying to cusp your hands around one of the insects to catch the glowing lights. Really, you were just stepping into a huge orgy. The New York Times talked with evolutionary ecologist Sara Lewis to find that the flashing lights in fireflies are mating calls. However, what Dr. Lewis found in her research is that they aren’t any old mating calls, and the conditions for firefly seduction are eerily similar to what (human) women go through when finding a guy: “The female fireflies turned out to be remarkably picky. In many cases, a male flash got no response at all. In some species, females preferred faster pulse rates. In others, the females preferred males that made long-lasting pulses.” Keep reading »
Is it just me or are men getting a little bit more polite? Jaded New Yorker that I am, I tend to assume anyone close to me on the subway is trying to steal my wallet or feel me up. Though the “accidental” ass-grab still happens about once a week, it’s becoming less frequent. I choose to view the lack of groping phenomenon not as a sign of my decreasing desirability, but as a sign of increasing old fashioned manners. In my semi-scientific survey I have discovered that at least three other women agree that men these days are more likely to offer gals their seat on the bus, carry heavy bags, open doors and pay compliments, even when there is no hope of sex. I have a theory: the recession. Maybe I am just searching for the silver lining on the dreary financial cloud, but I do think the economic woes have made us slightly more civilized. Before I conclusively decide exactly what factor is making dudes walking examples of Emily Post etiquette, I will postulate my three main theories. Keep reading »
Would a guy date a woman with a disability?
That’s not the sort of question guys are expecting to hear amidst the typical flurry of getting-to-know-you questions. But it’s nonetheless an important – even critical – one for me. It’s at the top of my list, actually. It’s a question I’ve been asking myself since high school when my peers so easily began to couple-off, and I watched from the sidelines. It all seemed so natural and effortless for them, yet I couldn’t help but feel as though the Dating Gods had forgotten to “cc” me on their Dating 101 memo. I’m sure the memo talked about the basics: courting, flirting, maybe even some tips for hiding those tiny flaws and insecurities on the first date.
But what about those not-so-tiny flaws? What about those insecurities you can’t simply hide with a cute jacket or a thick layer of Maybelline foundation? Keep reading »
Nowhere is the difference between men and women so glaring as when it comes down to the demise of a relationship. Specifically, the unexpected, unwanted, one-sided break-up otherwise known as the dumping.
A dumped dude might get angry. Then again, he might just get depressed and mope quietly in his room. He may go to a strip club or pick up a one-night-stand at a bar. What he won’t do is call up all his buddies and poll them about what they think his ex really meant when she quit returning his calls. Nor will he tearfully declare that said ex must have been either too intimidated by his devastating intellect and/or simply too in love with him.
Keep reading »
When my boyfriend announced that he was getting Lasik surgery a few months ago, I was unnerved. Glasses are my thing—one of those obscure attributes that immediately attracts me to somebody, no matter how brutish or repelling the rest of his personality may be. For one of my girlfriends, it’s large veins on a man’s forearms. For another, it’s a defined jaw line (to the extent that she lists Michael Bolton and Ed Harris as her top celebrity crushes because of it). For me, it’s a hot pair of … lenses. Keep reading »