Tag Archives: dating

Dater X: Height Or Flight? On Ditching My Dating Dealbreaker

Dater X: Height Or Flight? On Ditching My Dating Dealbreaker

When it comes to dating, I have a lot of preferences. I’d prefer to end up with someone who shares my religion, my political views and my musical interests. I’d prefer to find a man who has a college education, a job he enjoys and tight-knit family. But those are preferences— not dealbreakers. If I happen to find someone who’s a perfect match for me, but he’s not Catholic and he hates country music, so be it. I would be with him despite our differences. But when it comes to physical “preferences,” I’ve always been a bit pickier.

While I never considered them “dealbreakers,” my hesitation (and usually refusal) go out with someone who’s under 5’10, overweight or has a receding hairline, is, despite my denial, dealbreaker status. So this weekend, I checked those dealbreakers at the door and went on a date with my OKCupid run-in, Andrew, who I can now confirm stands barely two inches taller than me at  5’9″. Keep reading »

Dating Don’ts: Is Chivalry Dead? Maybe It Should Be

Dating Don'ts: Is Chivalry Dead? Maybe It Should Be
I Like Chivalry
On Jessica's newfound respect for men who behave chivalrously. Read More »

I’ve never been one for chivalry. I prefer to do things my way, and take pride in my own ability to lift things that are heavy, open doors on my own and find my coat in a sea of bodies and sad down jackets at a crowded bar. I’ve been with men who are completely unchivalrous, men who I’ve had to kick in the shins to lift a finger to help me carry an air conditioner up the stairs, and I’ve been with men who have fallen over themselves to get the door for me, even though I was already in the process of opening it. There’s a finesse to the art, a way of doing things that falls in between a fawning obsequiousness and a genuine gesture, bred of genteel manners and a different way of living.

There’s a fine line between chivalry and common courtesy. Holding a door open for someone who’s hands are full is good home training. Giving your seat up for a pregnant woman on the bus is good home training. Helping me into my coat at a restaurant is unnecessary, awkward and assumes that deep down, you are unconfident in my ability to put on my own outerwear when the fact of the matter is I have been dressing myself for longer than we’ve been acquainted. I understand that this is a gesture of kindness, but I view it as a harbinger of times past — and quite frankly, the past is where it should stay. Keep reading »

8 Creepy Pickup Tactics

bad-date-apps

Leah Green, a producer for The Guardian recently created a viral video in which she harasses men in the ways that women are typically harassed on the street. She goes up to guys complimenting their asses and asking if they’d like to go home with her, making them uncomfortable in the ways that women are made to feel on a daily basis.

In honor of that, we’ve created a little list of some of the more common ways in which guys talk to girls. Most of you ladies will have encountered many, if not all of these pick-up tactics multiple times. Guys, check to see if your approach is on the list — if so you may want to get a new one. Read more on Your Tango…

Dater X: An Unexpected (And Surprisingly Pleasant) OKCupid Run-In

Dater X: An Unexpected (And Surprisingly Pleasant) OKCupid Run-In

The other night when a number I didn’t recognize flashed on my phone, I decided to answer the call and was greeted with a cheerful, “Hey there, it’s Andrew.”

“Andrew?” I replied, clearly confused about who was on the other end of the line. “I’m sorry. Andrew who?”

“From the bar on Saturday night. You gave me your number,” he said, sounding slightly defeated by my forgetfulness.

And then it hit me. I knew exactly who he was. He was my OKCupid run-in. Keep reading »

Dating Don’ts: Love In The Age Of Instagram

Dating Don'ts: Love In The Age Of Instagram

I have an inveterate aversion to the unexpected. I hate surprise parties. I conduct extensive consumer research before I purchase anything, from new shoes to vacuum cleaners. The idea of plunging blind into a situation fills me with a mounting dread, a gnawing in the pit of my stomach knowing that I have no say in the outcome. This charming quirk has led me on a lifelong journey to impart control over a variety of situations that are inherently uncontrollable — the job search, the actions of others, and most importantly, dating. Any way you slice it, dating is fucking terrifying for me, because the unexpected is the norm. The carefully edited OKCupid or How About We profile and the brief dossier provided by a well-meaning friend only reveals so much. How can you know more before you’ve even met? This week, in an article in The New York Post, I read about Glimpse, a new dating app that offers the alluring prospect of stripping some of the mystery away. By allowing users to view the Instagram profiles of potential matches, Glimpse removes a layer from the murky soup of contemporary dating, offering users a deeper glimpse into the interests of other singles. If you like what you see, “smile” at the person through the app, and if it’s a match, you’re well on your way to love. Keep reading »

How To Reply To A Last Minute Date

last minute date text

When a man calls very last minute to ask you out on a date, it’s easy to turn him down. You’ve got plans. You have a life. You don’t have time to sit around and wait on him. Fair enough. But what’s it costing you? Are you missing an opportunity? Read more on Your Tango…

Girl Talk: On Being My Black Boyfriend’s First Black Girlfriend

Girl Talk: On Being My Black Boyfriend's First Black Girlfriend

The first time I asked my boyfriend if he had ever actually dated a black girl, we had not even met yet. It was during one of our online Skype sessions that the conversation came up.

“I’ve never really lived around too many black people,” he confessed.

“So have you ever dated a black girl?” I asked half-jokingly.

“No,” he responded simply.

Crickets… Keep reading »

The 12 Types Of Dudes Who Will Try To Pick You Up At A Bar

As a single female, I’m all too familiar with the dating scene and the post-traumatic stress often endured after a night out at the bar. “We met online,” is the new “we met at a bar,” and there’s a reason for that: far too many evenings are spent swatting away deadbeats and touchy-feely drunk dudes. So before you head out to your favorite pub, be prepared to get hit on by one of these 12 types of guys. Keep reading »

Dater X: Is It Really Possible To Be “Just Friends” With An Ex?

Dater X: Is It Really Possible To Be "Just Friends" With An Ex?

Just as I began to feel satisfied and confident with my relationship-free self, guess who came back to throw a wrench in things and screw up my single girl feng shui? My college boyfriend, and one of the few men I’ve ever really loved: Don. Keep reading »

Dating Don’ts: 7 Somewhat Universal Online Dating Dealbreakers

Outsmarting Online Dating
Meet Amy Webb, The Woman Who Outsmarted Online Dating
Watch a TED talk from a woman who hacked online dating. Read More »
Dating Don'ts: Tinder Profiles
Dating Don'ts: 9 Tinder Profiles That Made Me Swipe Left
These types of Tinder profiles make women want to swipe left. Read More »
Online Dating Lies
Here's some of the whoppers people use in their profile. Read More »
Dating Don'ts: 7 Somewhat Universal Online Dating Dealbreakers

Online dating is a wild and wooly world full of missed connections, delicate communications, and the unique, but not uncommon experience of getting to know someone enough to meet them for one to two beers through a series of messages on the internet. This is the world we live in, and the beauty of online dating is that the carefully worded profile lets you try before you buy. All profile info is to be taken with a grain of salt, but there’s an art to the carefully crafted profile. We all have our personal dealbreakers, but there are some that are (somewhat — there are always exceptions!) universal. Let’s explore… Keep reading »

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