Eh, I won’t build the suspense for too long. The answer is … Jessica Simpson! The maybe-probably-totally-pregnant star tweeted this photo of herself sitting on the can at Bergdorf Goodman. I have many questions. Where are her shoes? (No judgement — I go barefoot in our bathroom at work and I’m not joking.) If you’re 5’3 (as she is) do your feet really dangle off the ground that much? (“Short girl problems,” she wrote alongside the photo.) And who took this pic anyway? Her fiance? Her dad? Eww. Whatever. [Buzzfeed]
I’m fully convinced that Michael Lohan’s headline-making domestic violence arrest yesterday was copied straight out of Mel Gibson’s playbook. Of course, Mel’s famed blowouts were uniquely terrible because some of them were directed towards the teenage son of ex-girlfriend Oksana Grigorieva. Last month, Mel paid $100,000 to Oksana’s 14-year-old for the guarantee that he wouldn’t sue the once-respected actor for reportedly “terrorizing” him during altercations with his mother. That’s low, even for Mel Gibson. Additionally, his own toddler daughter with Grigorieva bore witness to a number of her father’s detonations.
It’s hard to top this sh**ty parenting, but surprise, surprise, more than a few celebs come come! After the jump, six more celebrities who I definitely wouldn’t want for a dad.
“Rumor number one: I am not planning to get married any time soon. I’ve been married once, and I don’t know if I’ll get married again. But I can tell you that as of this very moment, I have no plan to get married. Got that? And rumor Number two: no, we’re not pregnant. It’s just I quit smoking, so I’ve gained a couple of pounds.”
– Jennifer Aniston clears a few things up when it comes to rumors that she is planning on tying the knot with boyfriend Justin Theroux and having his child. Phew. Glad we got that ironed out. Can I go back to wondering how many months along extremely obviously totally pregnant Jessica Simpson is? [People] Keep reading »
“Real Housewives of New Jersey” star Melissa Gorga is doing a social experiment this week on “Entertainment Tonight,” walking around the cruel streets of New York City in a fat suit. From 115 pounds to 400 pounds, Melissa’s transformation into an obese woman is meant to teach us a deep and meaningful lesson about discrimination in our society, which we already learned when Tyra Banks and Vanessa Minnillo did the same exact thing. Actually, we learned before that. You know, when we were children and people were mean to those of us who were fat (or different in some way). Oh, Melissa. This stunt is old. Stick to what you’re good at: making club tracks and sparring with your sister-in-law. Why is it that celebs are suckers for a fat suit moment? Click on to see some more famous females who’ve donned them. [Dlisted]