My parents are cool. Very cool. In fact, in some ways, they are cooler than I am. They know they all the hot restaurants in New York City, and they’ve been to every new play. They stay out late at jazz clubs, and put together ensembles with the ease of stylists. Their apartment looks like a page out of Dwell.
However, when I was a teenager, I was absolutely mortified by my parents. I remember one time, I was a few minutes late meeting my dad, who had agreed to pick me up from a school dance. Because he didn’t have all day to wait around for me, he walked on into the gym to find me. As I saw him stroll through the pathetically ballooned gymnasium, I felt a tsunami of shame rush over me. As if having parents was something none of my friends and classmates could possibly relate to. I still can hear the awful tenor of the voice I used when my mom once dared to ask me if I’d done my homework when my cooler, older friends came to pick me up to go to a party one night. “Mooooom, you’re embarrassing me!” It’s a teenage refrain.
So I was felt a little better to hear that Kate Beckinsale, admittedly one of the coolest women in the world, has a teenage daughter who is thoroughly embarrassed by her. Keep reading »
We all know that I’m usually a little bit of a Kate Middleton player hater. But allow me to give her major props for some of her outfits lately. It seems that when she steps out without William she’s actually a little more fun and frisky. I like her more colorful palette. Here she is visiting the Treehouse Children’s Hospice in Ipswich, England, and she seems somehow more cheerful and sunny, you know? Anyway, I’m not above giving Kate a compliment when she deserves it.
What did Tiger Woods learn from his stint in sex addiction rehab? Don’t bang porn stars or strippers — or anyone, for that matter — unless you honestly love ‘em. In an upcoming tell-all, The Big Miss, Tiger’s ex swing coach Hank Haney says the golfer told him of him recovery, “For the rest of my life I can’t have sex with someone unless I genuinely feel something for them. If I do, I’m putting myself in jeopardy.” I find that conclusion to be damn hilarious and unbelievable. Tiger, it’s not that I don’t think you didn’t learn your lesson after the public flogging you received following your infidelities, it’s just that you just don’t seem like the kind of guy I would trust to love anybody except for yourself. Sure, go ahead and think I am being judgmental, but I am not the only person to share these sentiments. In his book, Haney paints the golf star as, well, an ASS. Haney claims that Tiger treats everyone around him like crap. Supposedly, when he’s out to dinner with anyone (including his ex-wife Elin) and has finished eating his food, he gets up and leaves without saying anything, expecting others to obediently follow. He also plays childish pranks on other golfers and refuses to sign autographs for even little kids! A word to the wise: Mr.Woods, don’t make any promises you can’t keep — and just sign your damn name already. [NY Post]
“You don’t have fun at work? You work for Details. You sit around and talk about hot dudes like Channing Tatum. That guy looks like he was sculpted out of ivory. If they made casts of asses to sell at adult stores for people to have sex with, they would use his ass. Sorry for everything I just said.”
– Adam Scott responds to a question from a Details magazine reporter about how much fun it must be to work on “Parks and Recreation” by launching into a delightfully raunchy non sequitur about Channing Tatum’s butt. Trust us, Adam, there’s no need to apologize. [Dlisted]
Is it just me or does it seems like everyone in the world has a dog? Maybe it just seems that way because I’m seething with jealousy that I don’t have a white fluffy thing to cuddle and play stupid games with. But I’ll tell you what part of dog parentage I’m not jealous of: the part where you have to pick up their steaming pile of poop. What a pain! Not even Aubrey O’Day is too good to scoop the feces of her dyed pink (female) Maltese Ginger and (male) Pomeranian Mary Ann. Ten bucks says she adopts another dog and names it Skipper. Her poor dogs surely have gender identity issues. Not to mention, the upkeep on Ginger’s look must cost a fortune. Not my problem, though. After the jump, some more celebs doing their doodie. [ONTD]