Last night, domestic abuser and homophobe Chris Brown got in a brawl with someone who was possibly in Drake’s entourage, supposedly over Rihanna, and he lost a bloody piece of his chin in the melee.
This morning, The New York Post reported xoJane writer Cat Marnell is leaving the blog to smoke angel dust and “write a book.” Like, she actually said that to a reporter. This is the new plan because she doesn’t want to stop using drugs, as she has been asked to do by her employer.
Then, this South African couple told the Daily Mail about how they keep an adult pet Bengal tiger inside their home as a pet and he sometimes chews up their sofas. This couple also owns several tasty-looking pet dogs.
Typically, I have boundless reserves of empathy, if not outright sympathy, for others. But it is time for some real talk: None of these people are deserving of our sympathy. I mean, it sucks when bad things happen to people, like when your Bengal tiger eats your couch. It would suck if more bad things happened to these people, like if your pet Bengal tiger eats your dogs. But do we feel bad for these individuals for the hard knocks coming their way? No. No, we do not.
After the jump, more people we do not feel bad for at all. Not one little bit. “Unbad,” you might even say: Keep reading »
Before things get awkward here, I feel the need to make a disclaimer that talk of Michael Fassbender’s penis (or him in general) does not come without an acknowledgement of the horrific domestic violence charges that were brought against him by an ex-girlfriend and later dropped. I take these charges seriously and they indeed color my view of Mr. Fassbender. You may read more about the details here.
That being said: I am here to talk about amateur drawings of his penis. I saw Michael Fassbender’s dong (heretofore referred to as Fassdong) ever so briefly in “Shame.” Although I didn’t commit Fassdong to memory, I just remember it was very large. So large, that my friend who I saw the movie with and I still discuss it occasionally. Some seem to believe that Ridley Scott’s latest film, “Prometheus,” used the legend of the Fassdong to distract people from the fact that the film sucked. I haven’t seen it yet, so I’m in no position to weigh in. Vice Magazine, wondering how many people would see a movie solely for the fame of its lead penis, challenged audience members at the London premiere of the film to draw their own version of Fassdong. Click through to see some of the NSFW results.
This is the Palin Conundrum: ignore them and hope they go away, or pay attention to the insipid things they do in order to mock them, thus contributing to their tick-bite hold on the public psyche.
The good news is that in Bristol Palin’s upcoming Lifetime reality show “Life’s A Tripp,” girlfriend may just encourage you to stop paying attention to her out of sheer apathy. The attempts at plot drama — paparazzi are taking photos! some man confronts Bristol in a bar about her mom! — are the kinds of “drama” that would have ended up on the “Real Housewives” cutting room floor. The best part is when Bristol tells her sister “I wouldn’t wish this on anyone,” which is usually the feeling of someone who does a reality show. So grab yourself a double espresso and check out the series trailer. At least Tripp is cute? See an extended clip from the show, featuring mom Sarah, after the jump! [MyLifetime] Keep reading »
Okay, so the dude’s identity really isn’t a mystery — his name is Cheyne Thomas (is that pronounced “Shane”?) and he’s Miley’s friend — but it’s so much easier to imply the newly engaged singer is cheating (as some headlines have) if she’s hanging out with a “mystery” man. Miley defends herself in the video after the jump! [Photo: Fame/Flynet and Bauer-Griffin] Keep reading »
No, no, no, Lindsay Lohan is not going to be in a porn — her new co-star on a flick called “The Canyons” – has a long history in pornography. James Deen appeared in hundreds of adult films and as our own Julie put it, it’s all because of his “nerd appeal.” He and LiLo are expected to star in the thriller about twentysomethings on a “quest for power, love, sex and success in 2012 Hollywood,” written by American Psycho author Bret Easton Ellis. Should be fun.
Now let’s get to know James Deen … in the most safe-for-work way we possibly can. Keep reading »