Seriously, what’s happening here? Is the universe about to implode? Apparently DJ Pauly D (on MTV’s “Jersey Shore”) got together with indie darling, Michael Cera, to film some sort of promotion for Cera’s upcoming film, “Youth In Revolt” (which looks HILAR, by the way). After the jump, JWoww shares her slice of pizza.

No, there’s isn’t a typo in the headline. Apparently, homegirl’s name really is Fab. I hope the name is short for something that isn’t an adjective, though. [1/3/10]

I was just skimming the Vanity Fair article about Tiger Woods and came across this little gem:

“At another moment, during a photo shoot where four women attended to his every need and flirted with him as he flirted back, he told a joke: He rubbed the tips of his shoes together and then asked the women, “What’s this?” They were stumped. “It’s a black guy taking off his condom.”

Oh Tiger, how funny you are. [Vanity Fair]

Um, yum. Oh wait, I didn’t just say that out loud? The new cover of Vanity Fair boasts a gorgeous Annie Leibovitz photo of Tiger Woods wearing nothing but a knit cap—and a very un-golf one at that. Since Tiger has spent the past month and half doing everything in his power to not be photographed, it shouldn’t be too surprising that the photo was shot pre-Tigergate. I know I will be picking up a copy, especially since the cover story is written by Buzz Bizzinger, the writer behind “Friday Night Lights.” Will you?

“It’s funny. When [my husband] Laurence and I go out into the countryside, I think a few of the older locals actually believe I’m a whore ... They follow him around, they want to mother him ...Then they look at me and are like, ‘That slag! How could you dirty yourself with her? She’s corrupted you.’”

—Billie Piper, star of “Secret Diary Of A Call Girl” [Daily Mail]

If it seems like the in-crowd of Hollywood never changes, remember this: once upon a time, Angelina Jolie was playing second fiddle to the better-known Winona Ryder in “Girl, Interrupted,” and only a few years ago Amy Adams was an unknown with a three-episode arc on “The Office.” Sometimes it’s easy to predict the big stars of the new year. It seems obvious that Anna Kendrick’s popularity is poised to explode, with a handful of award nominations for her “Up in the Air” performance and two big movies in 2010. Who else is likely to climb the ladder this year? Read more ...

I’m so utterly obsessed with this photo, I think it might become my new screensaver. Oink, oink! [via Daily Mail]

• Matthew McConaughey and Camila Alves had a baby girl on Jan. 3. They named her Vida. [PopEater]
• Kevin Connolly has been spotted on dates with style icon Chloe Sevigny. [Starpulse]
• Charlie Sheen and Brooke Mueller‘s twins will stay in Aspen with their mother. [People]

“When I first started doing what I do, a lot of my fans were men. It is interesting the way it has shifted and the majority of my fans are women now. Probably 80 percent, but I can see why. I started thinking about that more over past several years why that is and I think a lot of women like to see another kind of sex symbol that doesn’t fit into the blonde, tanned, California beach babe beauty.”

—Dita Von Teese in an interview with Fox News [Just Jared]

• Brooke Mueller’s lawyer says she and Charlie Sheen are still very much in love and want to work things out despite their “bad night.” I hate these people. [Us Weekly]
• Brooke Mueller‘s lawyer is also dismissing claims that she’s changed her story to save her marriage. [Starpulse]
• Hailey Glassman alleges that Jon Gosselin attacked her in a jealous rage. [Us Weekly]

“The way I feel about the Golden Globe nomination versus Justin Timberlake announcing it ... it’s like the nomination is That’s How I Roll from Cold Stone Creamery and Justin saying my name is like cherries on top of That’s How I Roll from Cold Stone Creamery.”

—Gabourey Sidibe, on whether she was more psyched about her Golden Globe nomination for “Precious” or having Justin Timberlake announce it [NY Post]

• The worst hairstyles of the decade, including the pouf, the fauxhawk, and the Eminem (left). [BuzzFeed]
• Miranda July’s reading list isn’t quite what you might expect. [Vice]
• Four ways to improve your online dating profile. [Lemondrop]