... dress like a flamenco dancer! Or, at least, that’s Suri Cruise’s motto. We continue to envy her wardrobe. [Sevilla, Spain, 12/7/09]

We were all scratching our heads in confusion when James Franco announced that he would be appearing on the soap opera “General Hospital.” But would I have called his decision performance art? Not so much. According to James, however, that’s exactly what it is. “I finally took the plunge and experimented with [performance art] myself when I signed on to appear on 20 episodes of ‘General Hospital’ as the bad-boy artist ‘Franco, just Franco,’” he says about his visionary concept in an op-ed in The Wall Street Journal this weekend. So his film career isn’t in trouble, OK? In addition to the 20 episodes on the show, there is a piece de resistance to Franco’s “General Hospital” performance—he will film a final scene in a museum. Edgy. But seriously … why?

Lady Gaga tried reindeer antlers on for size this weekend in London. If her singing career goes down the tubes, she can always give Santa a call and get a spot in front of his sleigh. [12/6/2009]

“The first day I met [Tracy Morgan], I had a small Afro, and he was like, ‘You know, if you want to get dreads, you should get your girl pregnant and put the placenta in your hair.’ And I was like, ‘What the f**k are you talking about?’ But from that point on, I thought, ‘Any brain that can make that up needs to be studied.’”

—Donald Glover, “Community” star and ex-writer for “30 Rock.” Did we mention he’s only 26? Wonder if he’s single ... [NYMag.com]

• Alexa Ray Joel’s hospitalization might have been brought on by an argument with an ex-boyfriend. [People]
• This weekend, Justin Long left the premiere for his movie “Serious Moonlight” after walking the red carpet so he could be by Drew Barrymore‘s side at the premiere for her movie “Everybody’s Fine.” [Entertainment Daily]
• Kevin Jonas can’t wait to walk down the aisle so his fiance can continue cooking for him. [NY Daily News]

“I think the only surprise in it, quite frankly, is that anybody would be surprised. If you’re a good-looking guy and young and healthy, the notion that there would be something else going on, well, marriage is just a convenience. It’s very nice for raising kids, but the notion that monogamy lasts forever is a wish!”

—Playboy founder Hugh Hefner on Tiger Woods’ “transgressions” [Extra TV]

Well, look who was on the cover of “T,” The New York Times Style Magazine this weekend! It’s our favorite songstress, Taylor Swift, all dressed up in couture kinderwhore. Sniff! Courtney Love would be so proud. [T]

Jude Law and Sienna Miller are in New York right now, starring in “Hamlet” and “After Miss Julie” respectively. And of course, they’re together again. Probably. They’ve denied the rumors, but have totally failed at picking up the leftover breadcrumbs back to the bedroom. They’ve been spotted together 11 times last month. In case you need a refresher, they dated for years, until Jude admitted to sleeping with the nanny. In the interim, during a one-night stand, Jude impregnated model Samantha Burke. Meanwhile, Miller spent her time topless on a boat with married “Brothers & Sisters” actor Balthazar Getty who has since returned to his wife. According to a friend, “Both are very wary of relationships.” Ya think? [Daily Mail]

We would like to present Exhibit A, the proof that they are totally together.

Happy Friday! Let’s close out this week with a blind item, this one via Crazy Days And Nights:

“This A list tweener has a problem. Well more than one problem but there are some things that can never be taught. Anyway, she had a boyfriend. Not exactly being a role model she got his name tattooed on her body in a place most people won’t see for a few more months. Now though, she has a bigger problem than what people say about her tattoo and its location. She has a different boyfriend and he doesn’t like opening the presents so to speak and seeing another name so our tweener is going to change it but can’t decide if it should be the new boyfriend’s name or something generic like don’t chew gum with your mouth open.”

Hmm, my instinct says Miley, but there are just so many to choose from! What do you think? Regardless, let this be a lesson—do not get a boyfriend’s name tattooed on your mons pubis. Or anywhere else for that matter.

Before today, I thought Zooey Deschanel was the perfect example of how stars can appear in ads without looking like sellouts. Her collaboration with eye wear manufacturer Oliver Peoples made sense, and the song she wrote about cotton, “the fabric of our lives,” was good enough for me to listen to at times besides when it aired during TV commercial breaks.

Now, however, Zooey is in an ad for Absolut Vodka. While it was shot by Ellen von Unwerth, who is well-respected and has previously photographed Zooey for magazine shoots, the connection between these two women and vodka doesn’t make much sense to me, at least not in this photo. And for the first time, I feel like Zooey is just another celebrity picking up extra money by posing with products.