Happy Friday! Let’s close out this week with a blind item, this one via Crazy Days And Nights:

“This A list tweener has a problem. Well more than one problem but there are some things that can never be taught. Anyway, she had a boyfriend. Not exactly being a role model she got his name tattooed on her body in a place most people won’t see for a few more months. Now though, she has a bigger problem than what people say about her tattoo and its location. She has a different boyfriend and he doesn’t like opening the presents so to speak and seeing another name so our tweener is going to change it but can’t decide if it should be the new boyfriend’s name or something generic like don’t chew gum with your mouth open.”

Hmm, my instinct says Miley, but there are just so many to choose from! What do you think? Regardless, let this be a lesson—do not get a boyfriend’s name tattooed on your mons pubis. Or anywhere else for that matter.

Before today, I thought Zooey Deschanel was the perfect example of how stars can appear in ads without looking like sellouts. Her collaboration with eye wear manufacturer Oliver Peoples made sense, and the song she wrote about cotton, “the fabric of our lives,” was good enough for me to listen to at times besides when it aired during TV commercial breaks.

Now, however, Zooey is in an ad for Absolut Vodka. While it was shot by Ellen von Unwerth, who is well-respected and has previously photographed Zooey for magazine shoots, the connection between these two women and vodka doesn’t make much sense to me, at least not in this photo. And for the first time, I feel like Zooey is just another celebrity picking up extra money by posing with products.

Tila Tequila never shies away from press, even negative press. In fact, she seems to have “There’s no such thing as bad publicity” ingrained in her brain. So, of course, she jumped at the chance to go after Rihanna, who said she’d like to turn Tila off with her magic remote, if that were possible, while on the Big Boy radio show. Now, it seems Tila might have started this celebrity feud, but Rihanna’s comments weren’t so mean as to warrant Tila’s harsh allegations. Tila’s claims, after the jump…

According to E! News, Kim Kardashian is thanking Quick Trim supplements for her recent weight loss (which she celebrated by posting this photo on her Twitter) and now “only tips the scales at 109—a number she hasn’t seen since she was ‘in the ninth grade.’” Um, congrats I guess, but does anyone else find it weird that she actually remembers what she weighed in the 9th grade, which was over 10 years ago? Maybe it’s because I was way more focused on having perfect skin as a teenager, but I couldn’t tell you what I weigh now, how much I weighed a year ago, or five years ago, let alone what I clocked in at when scrunchies were in style the first time. To me that signals major weight obsession issues—but I suppose schilling for diet pills gave that away, huh? [E! News]

Looks like a wild animal got a hold of Rihanna‘s dress or something. She’s too young to be considered a cheetah, right? [NYC, 12/4/09]

Sculptor Daniel Edwards is on a serious Angelina Jolie kick. In August, he unveiled his sculpture of Angie breastfeeding on a park bench. And now he’s done this piece of Brad and Angelina getting it on. Sprinkled into the plaster are crushed wine glasses that the couple drank from on the anniversary of their meeting on the set of “Mr. and Mrs. Smith.” Some looney toons woman commissioned this sculpture to hang from the ceiling of her bedroom to bring her “sexual healing.” Good idea? [Dlisted]

Pam Anderson managed to do the impossible and strike the sweater-knitting grandma connotation from the name “Pamela.” But I just dunno if she has much of a shot at being a pop star at this point. That, however, won’t stop her from trying. Pam is currently recording her first single with Richie Rich, designer for Heatherette, called “High,” about drugs high fashion. “Pam says she wants to sing, but nothing too difficult, so she’s just going to sing the word ‘high’ over and over,” Richie said. This is, of course, in addition to Pamela’s other-other career—designing a clothing line called A*Muse. (Get it? Like ” to amuse” or “I’m a muse.” Doh.) Though, honestly, Pamela couldn’t sound much worse than Britney on this microphone feed. [NY Post]

“Here you have all these girls accepting gifts, money, trips from Tiger in exchange for sex—all the while knowing he is married. ... And now they all can’t wait to tell their stories in exchange for even more money from the tabloids? ... And I was the hooker? At least I kept my mouth shut.”

—The eternally classy Ashley Dupre explains she may have been a ho, but at least she didn’t talk about it [NY Post]

• Lindsay Lohan insists she’d never kiss a married man, even Cash Warren. [Starpulse]
• The honeymoon is definitely over for Khloe and Lamar Odom. [Radar Online]
• “Scrubs” star Judy Reyes had a baby girl. [PopEater]

Well, we can all breathe a sigh of relief. After a several-year estrangement, Tori Spelling and her mother, Candy Spelling, seem to have buried the hatchet and are working on their relationship. Says Candy to Us Weekly:

“We have been communicating. And we’ve taken it to a place that I’m very very pleased with. We’re handling it privately. I’m very happy to say that that’s how we’ll deal with it at this point. I’m so happy. That’s all I want to say about this topic—I’m happy.”

Who wants to place bets that this “private” matter becomes a major focus of Tori’s reality show next season?

On Meryl Streep:

“There is nobody better than Meryl Streep. I watch her movies over and over again—I saw ‘Silkwood’ [1983] again a couple of weeks ago, and it made me just want to kiss her feet. We only know each other from seeing each other at awards ceremonies or those kinds of events, but whenever I see her, I always go up to her and start kissing her. I don’t even say anything—I just kiss her. She must think I’m some crazy person.”

On Sophia Loren, her co-star in “Nine”:

“She looks like a goddess. But she was always worried to see if we were eating enough. I was eating like a pig during that movie because I wanted to gain a few kilos. I was eating nonstop. But it was never enough for Sophia. She would say, “You’re not eating enough, and then you’re doing all this exercise! And I just saw Marion [Cotillard], and she left the table. That one eats less than you do—nothing!”

—Penelope Cruz, interviewed by her “Nine” co-star Marion Cotillard, in Interview [InterviewMag.com]