• Elin Nordegren reportedly plans to divorce Tiger Woods. [People]
• Snooki of “Jersey Shore” wants to star in a “Snookin for Love” reality show. [Jezebel]
• Kate Middleton, Prince William‘s girlfriend, is reportedly moving to the Big Apple to study portrait photography. [Guest of a Guest]

After Courtney Love lost custody of her daughter, Frances Bean Cobain, she aired her grievances on Facebook. Yes, really, she lashed out at 17-year-old girl for choosing to live with her paternal grandparents. Here’s what she wrote:

“I hate to sound cold but any kid of mine who pulls this s**t has lost her position… she was deceptive, she lied and she’s lying to herself… My daughter is not always honest ... She thinks she has all this money. The point is I have all the money she has ... Frances is clearly deluded that she can buy her grandmother a small house in la. I’d love to see how that works. They’ll incubate her til shes 18 and then have her sign all the indnemofications.”

Gee, I wonder where Frances Bean picked up these alleged nasty habits? Instead of pointing the blame at her daughter, Courtney should have taken a more realistic look at the situation and examined how the custody battle came about. But she’s not the only celebrity to attack their child publicly. Find out who else has a problem controlling their anger and keeping their traps shut, after the jump.

At least that’s what this Self cover featuring Carrie Underwood is screaming at me.

“Women like to see another kind of sex symbol that doesn’t fit into the blonde, tanned, California beach babe beauty. I can never fit into that role, so I think there are other women like me that say ‘no, me neither’...You can put on red lipstick and put on black gloves and you can curl your hair and play dress-up. Then if you’re tired of it you can just get rid of it. It is not like you have to go to a tanning salon and do all these things to make yourself a certain way, it’s something you can try on and leave.”

—Burlesque star Dita Von Teese, while promoting her new book, Dita Striptease [Fox News]

Catherine Zeta-Jones or Sarah Jessica Parker? I think Ms. Fashionista, SJP, really dropped the ball here, but she was only dropping her son at school. [NYC, 12/16/09]

In yet another “isn’t she too young for that” moment in the Cyrus camp, the littlest gal in the superstar family, Noah Cyrus, is the center of attention now that a video of the 9-year-old suggestively singing and dancing to Akon’s sexually charged “Smack That”—as sister Miley and a circle of others watch and cheer her on—has hit the internet. Watch the video!

• Kendra Wilkinson is already showing off baby Hank in OK!. [PopEater]
• Sources confirm that Reese Witherspoon and Jake Gyllenhaal have broken up. [E! Online]
• Jane Fonda‘s boyfriend, Richard Perry, insists it’s too early for the couple to wed, despite reports. [Starpulse]

“When I met Carey, I was an abused puppy in the corner, ready to bite anyone who put their hand out. He was the first man I was with who allowed me to take a deep breath and close my eyes and fall backwards. [...] My heart was like this clenched fist. And even after he broke my heart, still, I had two bigger halves. I have more capacity to love and be loved.”

— Pop singer, Pink, discusses her on-again husband, Carey Hart, with Women’s Health magazine, of which she’s on the January cover. [via celebsparks.com]

• The Lohan clan strikes again: this time, Dad Michael was arrested for violating a restraining order from an ex-girlfriend ... [Popeater]
• ... while Lindsay was given a July 2010 deadline to complete alcohol education classes as part of her DUI probation. [Starpulse]
• Kanye West reacts to recent accolades by Entertainment Weekly and Rolling Stone—in typical Kanye fashion, of course. [Oh No They Didn’t]

An easy story for GQ would have been just another Rihanna puff piece, like the disappointingly bland one Glamour ran. GQ could have just let Rihanna say, “Domestic violence is bad! I wear funky clothes! Buy my album!” and have left it at that. But in the article “Good Girl Gone Badass,” journalist Lisa DePaulo brilliantly captured how Rihanna’s manager positioned herself two feet away from RiRi and DePaulo’s conversation and interrupted the interview not once, not twice, but three times, to instruct Rihanna on how to talk about her life. Clearly, Rihanna’s allowed to reveal more in her photo shoots than she is in her interviews.

This Verizon commercial for the LG Chocolate Touch featuring Ciara has been making the rounds for a while now, and I’ve finally figured out why it annoys me so doggone much. The ad goes beyond using sex to sell a product and enters low-class strip club territory. I mean, Ciara is all but rubbing that guy’s face in her crotch. Broke strippers must often resort to the nastiest, most demeaning tactics to get customers to give up a few dollars; exposing the goodies and letting themselves get fondled is commonplace in these situations. Ciara is relying on a similar talent—her ability to gyrate—now that she’s fallen way off because her music ain’t cutting it.