My first instinct when holding an absurdly cute, especially chubby baby is obviously to try to take a bite out of its leg. Am I weird? Maybe. I don’t have the willpower to resist a roll of chubby, baby thigh. It must be nibbled on. I feel similarly about cupcakes.
According to new research, this does not make me a psychotic, cannibal baby-eater. A study published in the latest issue of Frontiers in Psychology found that the smell of a fresh baby activates all kinds of crazy pleasure centers in women’s’ brains. When two groups of women — those who had given birth in the last six weeks and those who had never given birth — sniffed the pajamas of two-day-old infants, they all went wild, but the new mothers brains lit up like pinball machines hitting the high score. Why? Because baby smell triggers the same part of our brains that make us think we’ve found a cupcake when we’re starving. Keep reading »
I dislike Mitt Romney and his politics as much as the next liberal. But I draw the line at inane knee-jerk reactions to the name of his new adopted grandchild.
See, Ben Romney and his wife Andelynne Romney (above) adopted a newborn baby boy. The 23rd grandchild in the Romney family (not 22nd, as tweeted) is a little Black baby named Kieran James Romney. Some folks on Twitter are upset that in Gaelic, the name Kieran means “black,” “little dark one,” or “dark skinned.” They seem to be suggesting Ben Romney, a doctor, and his wife chose intentionally to stigmatize the child by effectively naming him “Black Romney.” Keep reading »
Allegedly, there is a mom in New South Wales, Australia who is punishing her daughter for lying about having a sleepover when instead she and her friend hung out with older boys. Also, the girl has a “self righteous and lippy attitude.” You know, teenagers.
Anyway, this mom’s chosen punishment is to allegedly sell her daughter’s four tickets to a One Direction concert on Friday, October 25th in Sydney via eBay. ”I hope the scowl on your bitchy little friends faces when you tell them that your dad and i revoked the gift we were giving you all reminds you that your PARENTS are the ones that deserve love and respect more than anyone,” the mom supposedly wrote. “And your silly little pack mentality of taking your parents for fools is one sadly mistaken.” Keep reading »
When 26-year-old Vicki Griffiths gave birth to baby Eva earlier this month, she was looking forward to breastfeeding her child. That is, until she discovered that Eva was born with two formidable, bottom teeth. Griffiths quickly changed her mind and went with bottle feeding.
“She had her mouth closed to begin with, so we didn’t notice. It was quite bizarre to see them. I had been planning to breastfeed, but when I saw Eva’s teeth I was put off. I don’t think anybody could blame me!” Giffiths told the Daily Mail. Nope, we certainly don’t blame her. Though, if you’re pregnant — or planning to be someday — don’t let Eva’s teeth haunt your nipples. Only about one in every 3,000 babies are born with chompers.[Daily Mail UK]
Just when you thought humanity wasn’t headed down the shitter after all, novelty store It’Sugar thought it would be a fun idea to sell baby clothes with creepy sexual statements emblazoned on the front of them. Phrases like “hung like a preschooler”, “I’m proof my mommy puts out,” and “does this diaper make my butt look big?” stand out, amongst others. Gross. Young people are bombarded with the pressure to be “sexy” before their age even hits double digits these days, but now sexual jokes are starting before the kid can even walk? Not cool. These clothes aren’t just sexual, they’re also flat-out body shaming. Do we really need to be scrutinizing the size of a baby’s butt? I’m pretty positive the company meant for these clothes to be taken as a joke, but that’s how ideology takes root: it starts out as something seemingly innocuous that’s not to be taken seriously, but then all of a sudden it’s totally ingrained into a person’s thoughts and a five-year-old is crying over whether her butt looks big because she’s been wearing clothes with phrases like this on them since before she could talk. Can’t kids just be kids for half a second without having to think about their bodies? If this is a sign of the times, I’m not too excited for whatever nasty ideas people are going to come up with next. [Change.org]
When someone dies, often the surviving family members submit an obituary to the local newspaper, celebrating their loved one’s life. But what if that family member was a complete shitbird during the time they were on this planet and you were still really pissed about it? Maybe you would take the opportunity to piss all of their grave, metaphorically speaking, by revealing what they were really like in that obituary. That’s what Marianne Theresa Johnson-Reddick’s children did when their mother passed away at the end of August. Check out the vicious obituary — which has since been removed from the Reno Gazette Journal‘s website — that was published in the local paper upon her death, in which the children claim the deceased “spent her lifetime torturing in every way possible.” (Note: The obit erroneously states that Johnson-Reddick died on September 30. She died on August 30.)
Marianne Theresa Johnson-Reddick born Jan 4, 1935 and died alone on Sept. 30, 2013. She is survived by her 6 of 8 children whom she spent her lifetime torturing in every way possible. While she neglected and abused her small children, she refused to allow anyone else to care or show compassion towards them. When they became adults she stalked and tortured anyone they dared to love. Everyone she met, adult or child was tortured by her cruelty and exposure to violence, criminal activity, vulgarity, and hatred of the gentle or kind human spirit. Keep reading »
Parenting: you’re doing it wrong.
Bakersfield, California, mother Frances Hena asked a local news station whether she was supposed to “whoop” her 11-year-old daughter instead, which was clearly the only other alternative to making young Jamie stand in a busy intersection with a sign reading, “I was disrespecting my parents by twerking at a school dance.” Hena thinks that publicly embarrassing her daughter will teach the kid not to twerk. Had she watched Miley Cyrus’ twerk-performance at the VMAs, she would understand twerkers are plenty capable of embarrassing themselves, thank you. Keep reading »
A a new study conducted by anthropologists at Emory University set out to determine why some fathers take to the job more than others. Naturally, they decided to study their balls. The study looked at 70 biological fathers who had a child between the ages of one and two, and who were living with the child and its biological mother. Researchers looked at the fathers’ parenting habits, their testosterone levels, their brains functions when shown pictures of their children and the size of their testes and found that the men with lower testosterone levels and smaller balls were better dads. Keep reading »
It’s never too early to discover your mom’s huge silicone dildo. Wait, yes it is. It’s always too early. Fortunately I don’t think this toddler has any idea what Mommy likes to do with her special toy from an Ann Summers sex toy party, only that she’s very upset he found it and wants it back. Hmmm. Hope she keeps the nipple clamps better hidden. [Guyism]