Category Archives: Parenting

Some Psycho In Florida Beat A Child To The Tune Of “Blurred Lines”

Defending "Blurred Lines"
Blurred Lines - Robin Thicke
Is the song "rapey"? Read More »
Robin Thicke's NSFW Vid
robin thicke blurred lines
It's got nipples, lambs and Pharrel. Read More »
Oh Please, Robin Thicke
Robin Thicke Says "Blurred Lines" Is A "Feminist Movement"
"Blurred Lines" is a good song but it's not a "feminist movement." Read More »
blurred lines

This is so sickening I can’t even make any jokes about Florida (and that’s saying something): a 40-year-old man was arrested for allegedly beating a minor relative for 40 minutes with a switch while he “played the Robin Thicke song ‘Blurred Lines,’ striking her with the switch to the beat of the music.” WHAT THE FUCK!  Steven Grady Fillingham also videotaped part of the beating and sent it via text message to his (now ex-) girlfriend, who handed the video to police and wisely broke up with him. Fillingham somehow only managed to be booked on three counts of cruelty towards a child, despite the fact he is accused of other physical and mental abuse, like other beatings with a belt, forcing the child to shovel dirt for 90 minutes before being allowed to go to bed at 1:30 a.m., and making her hold heavy weights as punishment for being “lazy.” The child reported received the “Blurred Lines” beating because she had skipped school. Fortunately, she has now been placed with her mother.

What the fuck is wrong with people?!? Sometimes I am seriously convinced that people should have to get a license in order to be a parent or guardian. [Uproxx via Pensacola News Journal and The Smoking Gun]

This Is Probably The Most Vicious Obituary You Will Ever Read

This Is Probably The Most Vicious Obituary You Will Ever Read

When someone dies, often the surviving family members submit an obituary to the local newspaper, celebrating their loved one’s life. But what if that family member was a complete shitbird during the time they were on this planet and you were still really pissed about it? Maybe you would take the opportunity to piss all of their grave, metaphorically speaking, by revealing what they were really like in that obituary. That’s what Marianne Theresa Johnson-Reddick’s children did when their mother passed away at the end of August. Check out the vicious obituary — which has since been removed from the Reno Gazette Journal‘s website — that was published in the local paper upon her death, in which the children claim the deceased “spent her lifetime torturing in every way possible.” (Note: The obit erroneously states that Johnson-Reddick died on September 30. She died on August 30.)

Marianne Theresa Johnson-Reddick born Jan 4, 1935 and died alone on Sept. 30, 2013. She is survived by her 6 of 8 children whom she spent her lifetime torturing in every way possible. While she neglected and abused her small children, she refused to allow anyone else to care or show compassion towards them. When they became adults she stalked and tortured anyone they dared to love. Everyone she met, adult or child was tortured by her cruelty and exposure to violence, criminal activity, vulgarity, and hatred of the gentle or kind human spirit. Keep reading »

Mom Shames 7th Grade Daughter For Twerking At School Dance By Making Her Hold Sign In Busy Intersection

mom shames daughter for twerking
Parenting Trend: Public Humiliation!

Parenting: you’re doing it wrong.

Bakersfield, California, mother Frances Hena asked a local news station whether she was supposed to “whoop” her 11-year-old daughter instead, which was clearly the only other alternative to making young Jamie stand in a busy intersection with a sign reading, “I was disrespecting my parents by twerking at a school dance.” Hena thinks that publicly embarrassing her daughter will teach the kid not to twerk. Had she watched Miley Cyrus’ twerk-performance at the VMAs, she would understand twerkers are plenty capable of embarrassing themselves, thank you. Keep reading »

The Smaller The Balls, The Better The Father

Dude Sells His Balls
raffael brochero
Colombian poet selling his testicles to go to Europe. Read More »

A  a new study conducted by anthropologists at Emory University set out to determine why some fathers take to the job more than others. Naturally, they decided to study their balls. The study looked at 70 biological fathers who had a child between the ages of  one and two, and who were living with the child and its biological mother. Researchers looked at the fathers’ parenting habits, their testosterone levels, their brains functions when shown pictures of their children and the size of their testes and found that the men with lower testosterone levels and smaller balls were better dads. Keep reading »

Let’s All Feel Uncomfortable About This Toddler Finding His Mother’s Giant Dildo

Dildo Engineer
Reddit is funny. Read More »
The Dildomaker
It turns household objects into sex toys. Read More »
Franco's Dildo Cake
Happy birthday, James Franco — here's a yummy dildo cake. Read More »
dildo toddler
Awkward!

It’s never too early to discover your mom’s huge silicone dildo. Wait, yes it is. It’s always too early. Fortunately I don’t think this toddler has any idea what Mommy likes to do with her special toy from an Ann Summers sex toy party, only that she’s very upset he found it and wants it back. Hmmm. Hope she keeps the nipple clamps better hidden. [Guyism]

Worst Grandma In The World Complains About Fat 6-Month-Old

worst grandma in the world complains about fat baby

This weekend in the New York Times Social Q’s column, a woman wrote in to inquire about how to handle a ruthless grandma who is obsessed with her six-month-old granddaughter’s weight:

My husband and I have a beautiful 6-month-old daughter. She is chubby but not overweight by any means. My mother-in-law, who obviously has a weight obsession and is quite thin, has started making comments about my daughter’s size: “I can’t believe her legs are so big when she kicks all the time.” Or: “She’ll thin out when she starts to crawl.” My husband knows that these comments bother me, but he will not address them with her. I want to protect my daughter from her grandmother’s damaging and unhealthy fixation with weight. What should I do?

Okay, what kind of sick person body snarks a six-month-old baby? I don’t have kids, so I might be wrong about this, but aren’t babies supposed to be fat? I did not know that having a fat six-month-old was a problem you could have. Keep reading »

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