When someone dies, often the surviving family members submit an obituary to the local newspaper, celebrating their loved one’s life. But what if that family member was a complete shitbird during the time they were on this planet and you were still really pissed about it? Maybe you would take the opportunity to piss all of their grave, metaphorically speaking, by revealing what they were really like in that obituary. That’s what Marianne Theresa Johnson-Reddick’s children did when their mother passed away at the end of August. Check out the vicious obituary — which has since been removed from the Reno Gazette Journal‘s website — that was published in the local paper upon her death, in which the children claim the deceased “spent her lifetime torturing in every way possible.” (Note: The obit erroneously states that Johnson-Reddick died on September 30. She died on August 30.)
Marianne Theresa Johnson-Reddick born Jan 4, 1935 and died alone on Sept. 30, 2013. She is survived by her 6 of 8 children whom she spent her lifetime torturing in every way possible. While she neglected and abused her small children, she refused to allow anyone else to care or show compassion towards them. When they became adults she stalked and tortured anyone they dared to love. Everyone she met, adult or child was tortured by her cruelty and exposure to violence, criminal activity, vulgarity, and hatred of the gentle or kind human spirit. Keep reading »
Parenting: you’re doing it wrong.
Bakersfield, California, mother Frances Hena asked a local news station whether she was supposed to “whoop” her 11-year-old daughter instead, which was clearly the only other alternative to making young Jamie stand in a busy intersection with a sign reading, “I was disrespecting my parents by twerking at a school dance.” Hena thinks that publicly embarrassing her daughter will teach the kid not to twerk. Had she watched Miley Cyrus’ twerk-performance at the VMAs, she would understand twerkers are plenty capable of embarrassing themselves, thank you. Keep reading »
A a new study conducted by anthropologists at Emory University set out to determine why some fathers take to the job more than others. Naturally, they decided to study their balls. The study looked at 70 biological fathers who had a child between the ages of one and two, and who were living with the child and its biological mother. Researchers looked at the fathers’ parenting habits, their testosterone levels, their brains functions when shown pictures of their children and the size of their testes and found that the men with lower testosterone levels and smaller balls were better dads. Keep reading »
It’s never too early to discover your mom’s huge silicone dildo. Wait, yes it is. It’s always too early. Fortunately I don’t think this toddler has any idea what Mommy likes to do with her special toy from an Ann Summers sex toy party, only that she’s very upset he found it and wants it back. Hmmm. Hope she keeps the nipple clamps better hidden. [Guyism]
This weekend in the New York Times Social Q’s column, a woman wrote in to inquire about how to handle a ruthless grandma who is obsessed with her six-month-old granddaughter’s weight:
My husband and I have a beautiful 6-month-old daughter. She is chubby but not overweight by any means. My mother-in-law, who obviously has a weight obsession and is quite thin, has started making comments about my daughter’s size: “I can’t believe her legs are so big when she kicks all the time.” Or: “She’ll thin out when she starts to crawl.” My husband knows that these comments bother me, but he will not address them with her. I want to protect my daughter from her grandmother’s damaging and unhealthy fixation with weight. What should I do?
Okay, what kind of sick person body snarks a six-month-old baby? I don’t have kids, so I might be wrong about this, but aren’t babies supposed to be fat? I did not know that having a fat six-month-old was a problem you could have. Keep reading »