Hello, there. Full disclosure. This post is a thinly veiled excuse for me to complain about my really bad morning. I could have used an open letter format. Had I, it might have been titled “An Open Letter To The Broken Refrigerator That Ruined My Morning.” I would have ranted about my broken refrigerator and all the rotten food I had to discard. And how the delivery men destroyed my apartment getting the new fridge in/old fridge out. And how my landlord stopped by in the middle of the fridge chaos to tell me that I might have a gas leak and that he is raising the rent (all in the same sentence, mind you). I might have gone on to complain about how I spent a good portion of the morning cleaning melt-y, frozen, chicken juice off my hopelessly outdated linoleum floor.
But then I thought about how Jessica got barfed on while riding the subway yesterday and how comparatively, her morning mishap was worse than mine. And then I thought about all of you out there who’ve also probably had really unfortunate stuff happen to you in the morning and how you might feel better if we could all commiserate about it together. And then I determined that a listicle of awful morning shit was in order. For all of our cathartic pleasures, find below, a compilation of crap that will absolutely obliterate your morning (based on things that have really happened to us). Keep reading »
Depending on your mood and romantic history, you’ll either find the love story of “Breaking Bad” actor Aaron Paul and his fiancee Lauren Parsekian to be hopelessly adorable or nauseatingly saccharine. During Paul’s Emmy acceptance speech Sunday night, he thanked his “beautiful, inspiring fiancée … Thank you so much for looking at me the way that you do, you truly saved me.” We love Aaron Paul, for obvious reasons, and Parsekian, who is ridiculously gorgeous, seems pretty cool, too — she’s the cofounder of the Kind Campaign, which works with abused and bullied young girls. There’s, like, a lot of love between these two, and they’ve documented it in interviews, photos and endless Twitter posts about one another. We’ve captured the most, um, intense Twitter exchanges between these two lovebirds for your enjoyment. You tell us — is it too cute or too much?
A mother in Texas is livid: not that her 15-year-old daughter was paddled at school for cheating on a test — both mom and daughter actually approved the punishment — but that she was spanked by a male vice principal.
Taylor Santos, 15, a sophomore at Springtown High School Texas, allegedly let another student copy her work and was given a two-days of in-school suspension. After one day of missing classes, Santos asked if she could get a paddling instead of missing a second day; she called her mother and got approval for the change.
But her mother, Anna Jorgensen, is now super-pissed. A male vice principal spanked Taylor Santos instead of a female administrator — although there was a female in the room the whole time. “I knew school policy was females swatted females, and males swatted males,” Jorgensen said. “If Taylor wanted that, I said I would be fine.” She’s now upset that her daughter’s bottom has “welts and bruises.” Keep reading »
When I entered the ranks of the unemployed, I was full of optimism. How hard could it really be to get a job? I asked myself. I have a college degree. I’ve been gainfully employed since I graduated.
Answer? Very hard. I was out of work for over a year and reached a level of desperation usually reserved for meth addicts.
Here are a few of the lessons I learned while collecting government checks… Keep reading »
I have a phobia of the phone, don’t have time to write lengthy emails, and my handwriting is so out of practice that signing my rent check each month feels like a chore, so Instant Messenger/GChat is my preferred method of communication (followed by texting, though “in-person interaction” trumps both with certain humanoids). It allows me to keep in touch with friends and do business with colleagues, while multi-tasking on everything else I like to do. When someone tells me they don’t use IM/GChat, I kind of feel like they’re from another planet and I don’t really trust them. (No offense. I mean, I still use the same AOL AIM handle I’ve had for, like, a decade, even though I’ve never had an AOL email address. So the rest of you, join me in the 1990s, please, the water is warm!)
But even those people with whom I IM/GChat on the regular manage to drive me insane sometimes. Here are four bad IM/GChat habits that makes me kind of want to block your ass. Keep reading »
Yesterday morning, I woke up and before getting out of bed, I checked my email on my iPhone and opened up one of the 10 million sale alerts I get from various brands. This one was for Aerie, a sub-brand of American Eagle Outfitters that I love for their affordable bras and undies. The deal was for one of their style of bras, but I was far more interested in the panties the model was wearing, because they were sheer enough in the crotch to reveal a whole lot of vagina. Whoa, visible vagina in my inbox, I thought. Or there should have been. I pinched and zoomed in. What the hell has happened to her vag? Keep reading »