The other day I had lunch with a work colleague who told me her first boyfriend from middle school just so happens to live in her apartment building, which is just crazy. We started reminiscing about our first boyfriends. Hers sounded like a nice, normal guy who turned out well. She must have been born with good taste in men. Not me. I ran into my first boyfriend, Jaime*, two years ago when I was visiting my parents. The staggering thing was that he hasn’t changed at all since we dated in 8th grade. He is doing the exact same thing he was 20 years ago — getting stoned ’round the clock, saying “right on” a lot, and playing guitar in a band that will never go anywhere. These things were all very attractive to me when I was 13. Oh, how I’ve changed. The only thing that has changed about Jamie is the way he looks. He is heavier and his hair is longer. I don’t think he’s cut it since 1991. Good thing the grunge look is making a comeback. To think, I entertained the idea of running away with him and getting married. I must have been rendered temporarily insane by the mix tape he made me. After the jump, I asked some Frisky staffers and friends what has become of their first loves.
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After a thorough inspection of available costumes for men, I have come to the conclusion that the Halloween industry is conspiring to sabotage dudes’ chances of getting laid. There are just so, so many horribly unsexy Halloween costumes for men. We’ve showed you a bunch in the past, but believe it or not, there are more. Last time I checked, Spam was about as far from an aphrodisiac as you could get. But this is hardly the worst offender. Keep on clicking to see even more Halloween costumes that will guarantee you a sexless Halloween.
When the dead walk and the world is plunged into chaos, the only dating advice that will matter is this: the couple that beheads zombies together, stays together. But that advice doesn’t just work in a dark future where corpses hunger for human flesh. It is very practical dating advice for right now, in these last, few remaining years when the deceased stay in their coffins, rather than clawing out from their graves.
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Hey fellas! Have absolutely no idea what you’re gonna be for Halloween? Allow me to suggest consulting this infographic, which has graphed a plethora of traditional and unique Halloween costumes for dudes based on their sex appeal to the ladies. I’m not saying you must appeal to our collective lady boners by throwing on a lumberjack or Ryan Gosling in “Drive” costume; in fact, if you want to do the opposite, this chart suggests you dress up as Martin from “Human Centipede 2.” See, wasn’t that helpful?
“I’m looking for bliss … for Candy Land,” my last boyfriend said during our breakup.
Even though I was sad that we were splitting, I couldn’t help but laugh. It sounded absurd.
“That doesn’t exist,” I told him, trying to keep a straight face.
“Maybe you’re right,” he went on. “But I’m not ready to give up the dream yet.”
I pictured him venturing off into the vast single universe in footsie pajamas, wielding a plastic light saber, off to find Queen Frostine. I wanted to tell him he was wasting his time, but it would have been pointless to try to convince him. Like an encouraging parent would, you smile, pat him on the head, and say, “Good luck, soldier.”
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Hey ladies. Does your man stare at you with hunger rather than lust? Does his skin shimmer in the light like he just got home from an all-night rave in San Francisco circa 1995? Does he do the opposite of keep you warm at night? Girl, you may have Vampire Boyfriend Problems. Use this handy flowchart to find out for sure.
This post was sponsored by “Twilight: Breaking Dawn Part 1.” However, the logic that went into determining whether your boyfriend is a vampire, a living breathing human, or just plain weird, is The Frisky’s own.
At some point in time, “gamers” got a bad rap. Let’s stop stereotyping the “gamer” world as a place exclusively for basement dwelling social pariahs in dingy underwear who subsist on Hot Pockets microwaves with love by mom. Those of us — yes, women game too! — who play video games also enjoy socializing with friends (outdoors even!) during the daylight hours and have other hobbies besides completing the “Braaaaaaaaaaaaains!” mission in Borderlands. In fact, we even date! Keep reading »
Halloween is almost here, which means women everywhere have carte blanche to get all sexied up for the night. That’s fine, I guess … if that’s your thing. Although, I’m not sure I get why anyone would want to dress as a “sexy guitar.” Aren’t there better ways to get play? Click through to see some more sexy Halloween costumes that we just don’t understand.
We were more than a little surprised to hear that former Limp Bizkit frontman Fred Durst — he who, at one time, so craved “the nookie” — would be getting his own sitcom. In it, he’ll be starring as a variation on Fred Durst — a meta-Durstian meditation on fame, celebrity and the vagaries of shopping at the Journeys at the Grove Mall when you’re over 35.
But Durst is hardly the only rocker to switch modes from stage antics to canned laughter. Check out our round up of other musicians who’ve made the move to the sitcom world.
The good thing about being single is that people are usually pretty willing to talk about your romantic life, because, let’s face it, it’s probably more entertaining than that of your seriously coupled-up friends.
The bad news? Sometimes, people will want to talk about your love life regardless of whether or not you’re in the mood to talk about it. And they will have opinions. And questions. And if you’re single for long enough, a lot of these are gonna start sounding the same… Keep reading »