The last time I spread my legs for a doctor (and no, I haven’t slept with anyone in scrubs), Lindsay Lohan was a law-abiding citizen. Somehow, I had managed to put off my visit to the friendly gyno longer than I cared to admit. A close friend’s recent alarming diagnosis post-gyno visit had fueled me into action. Oh, and my medical insurance suddenly had an expiration date. I’d just been laid off from a job I’d held down for the last six years, the lease on my New York City apartment was about to end, along with the dollars in my bank account. I was, in what you might call, a very large pickle. Keep reading »
I pride myself on my vast knowledge of celebrities, particularly their love lives. Ever since my grandmother handed me a tattered issue of The National Enquirer as a young lass and affectionately called it “The Trash,” celebrity gossip has been my guilty pleasure. So, I’m always more than a little surprised when I find out two stars dated and no one bothered to tell me. This morning, I was perusing a great Tumblr called “Old Loves,” featuring photos of celeb couples who once dated, and found eight I had no idea about. Keep reading »
It wouldn’t be Christmas without a bunch of holiday-themed sex toys to get you in the spirit. Well, actually it would. But some people will use any excuse they can to customize sex products. Christmas is no exception. We couldn’t resist rounding up a bunch of the naughtiest stuff out there for you to put under your S.O.’s tree. Or maybe in your S.O.’s tree. Or on it in the case of this XMas Tuggie. Yes, it’s a Snuggie for his c**k! So he can keep his hands free and his nuts toasty while watching “A Christmas Story.” Brilliant! Keep on clicking to see more WTF sex toys for the holidays.
Ugh, the Grammys: so, so, so boring and mainstream in their nominations with the occasional WTF?! thrown in for good measure. The 2012 nominees, announced last night, are no exception. Adele was deservedly nominated for all the major awards and will likely take them all home. Meanwhile, Beyonce’s 4, which was arguably one of her best albums ever, was snubbed, as was Nicki Minaj’s “Super Bass.” Jay-Z and Kanye West got some love for their Watch the Throne collab, while Lady Gaga’s third consecutive Album of the Year nod has her tied for the record with The Beatles. And then there was something about a band called Skrillex making me feel old. Those are the noms in a nutshell, with more of my thoughts displayed in the Approval Matrix at left. Here‘s a list of more nominees.
Real world dating is tough. As a 21-year-old student in a busy city, it’s been hard for me to find Mr. Right. Curious about what single straight men are really looking for, I created an OKCupid profile and then tweaked different options to see how the way I presented myself affected the responses I got from men. Here’s what I learned… Keep reading »
Having a “tramp stamp” doesn’t make you a tramp at all, it makes you a person who made a bad decision at some point in your high school/college years. (Not to imply all lower back tattoos are bad decisions. Just, um, a lot of them.) I should know. I have one. My Chinese symbol for the word “Angel” was acquired two months before my 18th birthday at a hole-in-the-wall tat shop on Bleeker Street. I was a Freshman at NYU and I mostly got the regrettable tattoo because I was pumped that they didn’t card me. I know, really solid reason to get inked for life. Nowadays, my stamp makes me cringe, but at least it’s well hidden … most of the time. Ben Affleck probably feels similarly sheepish after he accidentally revealed his tramp stamp while getting his daughter out of the car. It’s a dolphin, which he got to cover up the name of a high school girlfriend. Geez, I don’t know which is more embarrassing. I feel for him. Click on through to see more celebs with tramp stamps. [NY Post]
My fairly new boyfriend Todd was a nice-enough looking guy with some questionable grooming habits. I tried to tell myself that these minor, easily fixable flaws shouldn’t influence how I felt about him.
But instead of gazing into Todd’s eyes, I found myself staring at his nose hair, fixated. Brownish-grey tufts looking like steel wool sprouted from his nostrils. An occasional bit of crust hung from his nose hairs like food caught in a beard.
Nothing says “I love you” like buying your man a nose hair trimmer. In retrospect, I realize that Todd could have gotten (justifiably) offended. But while he “didn’t see what the big deal was,” he reluctantly agreed to try the trimmer out. Todd examined the miniscule blades that didn’t appear sharp enough to cut the nose hairs of a squirrel. He turned on the trimmer and held it to the edge of his nostril as if afraid it would get sucked in too deep and shred his brain. Keep reading »
Cyber Monday. All of the awesome Black Friday deals, without the risk of being trampled, mugged, or pepper-sprayed by your fellow shoppers. Look, as much as I sort of hate these “buy buy buy buy!” pseudo-holidays, the fact remains that Christmas and Hanukkah are just around the corner and there is gifts to purchase, so you might as well save some money doing it. With that in mind, I’ll be updating this list of Cyber Monday deals and links all day, as I find them. I’m looking to add smaller, independent retailers to this list so if you know of a great Etsy shop or another online indie retailer that has a cool deal today, email firstname.lastname@example.org with “Cyber Monday” in the subject line! Keep reading »
Less than an hour after I (mostly) finished filling out my Match.com profile, my first email arrived: “Hey. You have a great profile. I like what you have to say. You should post a picture!”
I suppose if it had been someone other than the man who’d been calling himself my boyfriend, I would’ve been flattered. Keep reading »
Oh all powerful, all knowing Timing, why must you insist on being so wrong? I mean, sure, sometimes you are right, like the timing on the various dishes in my Thanksgiving feast, or the the timing of Melissa McCarthy’s one-liners in “Bridesmaids.” But those are examples of timing we can control; my beef is with you when I don’t have any. Keep reading »