If your lady wants to run to the bedroom immediately after unwrapping your present (meaning your holiday gift, not the present in your pants), she probably liked it. For post-gift sex indicates that your present was thoughtful, touching, meaningful, and impressive. These gifts will not inspire any sort of arousal. If you hope to get laid this holiday season, you may want to avoid slipping these gifts under the tree.
In a scene from “Scouted,” the E! reality TV series premiering this evening — in which model scouts troll the malls, parking lots, and fast food chains of suburbia looking for the next Gisele Bundchen — a middle-aged woman excitedly approaches a willowy girl in a grocery store.
“Have you ever thought about modeling?” she inquires, eyeing up her young prey with leering enthusiasm.
I sat there thinking, Is she talking to her friend? Because standing next to the skinny young blonde with the Byronesque (read: large) profile and receding chin was a much more attractive girl. But, no, the scout was talking to the odd-looking one. Keep reading »
Yes, your wedding was adorable. Look at your adorable mason jar center pieces! And your adorable balloons and/or adorable take on adorable flower alternatives! And your adorable color palette! And your adorable adaptation of an adorable song!
Oh look, an adorable reference to an adorable pop culture institution, adorably personalized to suit your adorable relationship with an adorable person. Look how you adorably side-stepped tradition with an adorable and unique adorable thing that looks like all the other unique adorable things I have been looking at non-stop for months on adorable wedding blogs and ugh.
I am so tired of adorable shit. Adorable shit is making me hate my own adorable shit, and if I had to pick some favorite adorable shit, it would be my own. Keep reading »
In “Young Adult,” Diablo Cody’s new film opening Dec. 16, Charlize Theron plays Mavis, a divorced novelist who returns to her home in small-town Minnesota determined to rekindle a romance with her high school boyfriend. Mavis may have gotten older, but she hasn’t exactly grown up or figured out how to let go of the past.
One reason for Mavis’ issues? She has no one in her life telling her “no.” No one to encourage and inspire her to be her best self, no one whose feelings she is expected to care about. In short, she has no friends at all — until she meets Matt (Patton Oswalt), a guy whose existence she was oblivious to in high school, who now offers her a little tough love and a reality check, just as any real friend would. He hopefully offers the first of many lessons about friendship that Mavis desperately needs to learn. Here are seven things we’ve learned about friendship since high school. If you have a “Mavis” in your life, print this out and pass it along. Keep reading »
New Year’s Eve is only days away. Make a statement by letting your inner bombshell shine! This bundle include festive brushes, sparkly polish, shimmery glosses, show-stopping eye palettes, and a new scent to get you ready for the clock to strike midnight. Find out how to enter, after the jump! Keep reading »
Since 1998, I’ve filled two passports, trundled through innumerable airports and navigated the border crossings of 28 countries — almost always by myself. Occasionally I’ve been accompanied by a boyfriend, sometimes by a brave friend I’ve convinced to join me, but most of the time I wandered out into the throng of waiting touts alone.
Now, when you’re a young woman and you tell people you’re going to travel, the first question will be: “Who are you going with?” Keep reading »
It’s kind of incredible to me that there are so many memes inspired by Ryan Gosling. It’s even more incredible to me that I am not the genius behind any of them. If I had a little more time on my hands, I would probably devote a few hours to making my imaginary blog, “Ryan Gosling Bringing Me And Lucca Peonies,” a reality. Here’s a sample image. Great, right?
Keep clicking to see the best of all the Ryan Gosling memes. You are so welcome, girl.
Over the summer, I had a first date with an attractive, smart guy who emailed me over an online dating site. C— was Harvard-educated, a lawyer, and a dead ringer for the actor Terrance Howard (i.e. super hot). We had a lovely conversation and was a total gentleman until the end of the date: he paid for our drinks, walked me to the train, and kissed me on the lips before telling me he wanted to see me again soon.
I texted him the next day to say “thank you for drinks!” I never heard back. Not a single peep. I got “ghosted.”
Well, I never heard back for three months, anyway. One afternoon, I randomly received this text message from C—:
Hey Jess, it’s C—. I don’t have a great excuse for why I fell off the planet. I got really busy and things got messy with an ex that I didn’t want to be bothered with while pursuing something new. If you are still interested, I’d like to see you. Keep reading »
My friend Aileen is always doing awesome things with her hair, so I asked her to come up with a tutorial for Frisky readers who might want to try something a little different for the holiday party circuit. She came up with this sweet swirly style that is somehow both retro and futuristic. We call it “candy swirls.” It’s simple and festive, and here’s how to get it for yourself…
‘Tis the season for fugly Christmas sweaters. Some celebs enjoy flaunting their holiday cheer in a hideous, knitted mess. The perfect ironic, Christmas look is all in the attitude of the wearer. It’s imperative that Christmas sweaters be worn irreverently or not at all. I’m not sure that Justin Bieber pulled off this festive cardigan (which allegedly cost a cool $1700) on his recent “Today Show” appearance. Ignoring the price tag momentarily, the Biebs looks no older than 12. Way too young to be a daddy. Maybe that was the intended look he was going for in the midst of his paternity scandal. Click through to see more celebs who’ve donned the fugly Christmas sweater. [Huffington Post]