When I look back at all the relationships that didn’t work out (that I so wanted to at the time), I realize that in every case, there were early warning signs that each guy gave me that could have given me some idea of the heartbreak I was about to experience if I had only been aware of what to look for. To spare you from what happened to me, to give you the inside scoop on what you can be on the lookout for, here’s my list of the warning signs that clearly let you know that this is a guy to avoid if it’s a real relationship you’re looking for.
1. He doesn’t call you when he says he’s going to. Granted, I know that sometimes life can get it the way, and if he’s working late on that big project with the looming deadline it’s possible that time might get away from him once in a while. But if this happens more than once or twice, it’s a sure sign that you’re just not a priority for him right now. If a guy is really interested in starting (or continuing) a real relationship with you, you will be on his mind, and he won’t forget to call.
2. He’s often late and doesn’t call to let you know. I know there are lots of reasons people can run late that are beyond their control (traffic jam, car problems, being stuck at the office), but a quick call from his cell phone will put your mind at ease, and let you know that you have a few more minutes to try on that one other outfit you were still considering. The point here is about being respectful of your time – we can forgive lateness, even chronic lateness (some people just aren’t good at judging how much time something will take), but not calling to let you know he’ll be a little late? That’s inexcusable and a sure sign that he’s not too concerned about you. Read more…
For the new year, women go to extreme lengths to ditch old baggage: we clean out our closets, buy new “essential” wardrobe pieces, start looking for new jobs, vow to lose a few pounds or even get full-on makeovers. But sometimes our “special someone” is the real dead weight that should be tossed out. Here are 10 signs that Mr. Right has become so wrong. Keep reading »
Whether your summer breakup still stings, your fall heartbreak feels fresh, or your holiday heartache has yet to happen, one thing’s for sure. The holiday season is here and dealing with a broken heart can be especially tough during these “feel good” months. After all, there are holiday gatherings to attend, mistletoe to stand under (GASP – alone!), and happy couples cozying up to one another wherever you turn.
Even with your broken heart, you can still enjoy the holidays this year. Here are some tried and true tips for surviving and thriving the holiday season following a breakup. Read more…
Guest columnists and contributors are generously sharing their talents and insights while I’m taking some time to care for my new baby. Today’s letter is answered by freelance writer, Rachel East, AKA ReginaRey.
About six months ago, the man I thought I was going to marry left me unceremoniously for another woman. During the aftermath – the moving out and settling of affairs — he acted cruelly and horribly, cementing the split and making damn sure I didn’t come back. I spent much of the next few months depressed, having constant nightmares about him, unable to get out of bed and constantly self-medicating, because the reality of my situation was too much to face. I work freelance, and have been accepting just enough work to scrape by, wishing the end of every gig to come so I could get back into bed. Keep reading »
The holidays are the worst when it comes to breakups. If you’re in a relationship that’s in the pits, it’s often difficult to extract yourself from it in time to avoid having to get your unwanted significant other a present. So if your New Year’s resolution is to be single and mingling in 2012, we’ve got a few gift suggestions that will help give your boyfriend a clue of what’s to come.
One of the most difficult ordeals a guy can face is the delicate matter of ending a relationship that his girlfriend still wants to continue, especially if he still cares for her. There are some good ways to go about it, but infinitely more bad ones, and I’ve certainly plumbed the latter category more times than I’d like to admit over the years. So, in the interests of sparing men (and women) the mistakes I’ve made, here’s what I’ve learned from my past. Keep reading »
“I think we should break-up.”
“I don’t love you anymore.”
“We aren’t right for each other.”
Breakups can leave the lovelorn rattled for weeks, months and sometimes even years. But there’s a light at the end of the tunnel. Grieving a relationship is not unlike grieving a death. It’s healing process. But one day, you will move on.
“The key to getting through a breakup is accepting that you are going to be a crazy maniac for the next three to six months of your life,” says Elina Furman, relationship expert and author of Kiss and Run: The Single, Picky and Indecisive Girl’s Guide to Overcoming Her Fear of Commitment. “There’s no skipping steps so even if you think you’re over it right away, you’re probably not.”
If you’re recently single, fasten your seatbelt. These five stages of grief can get pretty rocky. Read more…
Exes are exes for a reason. You have to remember that, even when you miss them — like I did this past week.
You may remember the crappy ex in question — the one who broke up with me over IM, stole a painting he’d given me as a present and generally made me feel like total crap for several months. Our breakup was quick and sharp (over IM, after all), but the months leading up to it were painful and heartbreaking. He was miserable and so was I.
Keep reading »