I feel pretty good about my path toward a forever-partner. I dated a lot of guys, had numerous long- and longish-term relationships and a lot of premarital sex. I don’t believe that marriage is “the end” of your emotional or sexual growth as a woman, but I’m also glad I did everything I wanted to do as a single gal. That plan might not be right for everyone, but it was right for me. I’m happier than I’ve ever been and I have no regrets!
I knew that my husband was the right partner for me when we decided to get married. A particular joy of being newlyweds, though, is that I discover new reasons all the time. But there’s been another happy surprise, too. Settling into each other has also been hugely clarifying for me about men I’ve dated and even loved in the past. It’s almost like having a fresh pair of eyes to look at myself and mistakes I made. Truly, being with the right guy has taught me so many things in retrospect about the wrong ones.
Here are six bits of relationship wisdom that my married self would like to tell my single self (if she would able to read the Future Frisky and learn a few things):
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Anyone who’s ever had their heart broken can tell you that shit hurts way more deeply and intensely than a stubbed toe or sprained ankle. This video by AsapScience explains the various scientific factors (Brain activity! Evolution!) that come together to create the very real pain of heartbreak. Fascinating stuff. Next I’m looking forward to science proving that a pint of Ben & Jerry’s is the one true cure, because based on my extensive field work, it totally is. [YouTube via Laughing Squid]
Breaking up is hard to do? Um, doesn’t have to be. Our girl Gillian Jacobs — who you probably recognize from her role on “Community,” and should check out in the upcoming films “Bad Milo” and “Hot Tub Time Machine 2″ — has come up with 10 easy ways to send your significant other packing. Pick whichever method is best for your situation, and PRESTO! The dirty work is done.
1. The Sweet & Sour: Bake your break up message into a cake. The sweetness of the treat will counteract the bitterness of the bad news. They’ll be on a sugar high and probably won’t really get upset for a few hours.
2. The Undercover: Tell them you’re entering the Witness Protection Program and have to break up with them for their own safety. If you ever run into them again, do not answer to your real name and pretend to have no idea who they are — FOR THEIR OWN GOOD. Keep reading »
Breaking up is hard to do. So maybe that’s why people give so many bad excuses for it. Of course, at some point, we’ve all probably heard or resorted to “It’s not you, it’s me.” And while that sounds like a cop-out, chances are it isthat person. That person just isn’t sure he or she wants to be with you. Well, if you’re getting dumped, he or she is very sure. But that doesn’t mean there’s anything wrong with you per se. No one likes to hear that though, because people want some kind of concrete reason like, “I hate your underwear.” But that’s usually not the way it goes. The hashtag #WorstBreakUpExcuses has been trending on Twitter all day. Here are 10 of the worst ones. I hope they’re not serious but I wouldn’t be surprised if they were! Read more on The Stir…
It can be confusing to sort out your feelings for someone, especially if you’ve been in a committed relationship with them for a long time. We make up all kinds of crazy reasons to stick together rather than break up, but just because you’ve been together a long time, that doesn’t mean it’s healthy for you. There are lots of obvious reasons to break up, but the ones on this list disguise themselves as reasons to stay together.
1. “He hasn’t done anything wrong.”/”He’s such a good person”/”He’s a great boyfriend.” In every other area of life, not doing anything wrong does not earn you an A+. It earns you a passing grade, but a passing grade is not the same as a stellar significant other. Not doing anything wrong does not equate to doing everything right. You deserve someone who is more than a C. Read more on Your Tango….
Meet our friend Tom. He’s a married guy with tons of relationship experience, and a skilled advice giver who’s here to answer all your pressing sex, dating and relationship questions. Have a query for Tom? Email it to firstname.lastname@example.org and we’ll make sure he gets it! All questions will be posted anonymously, unless otherwise requested. First up…
“I’m thinking of moving in with my boyfriend. But the past two times I’ve lived with someone, we fought too much and it fell apart. Any advice for how not to let that happen again?”
Yes. Get a cat.
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