The title of this post is somewhat of a misnomer because the South Carolina woman who discovered her ex-boyfriend had been living in her attic had already broken up with him 12 years ago. So maybe it would be more accurate to have titled it “You’re Getting Evicted From My Crawlspace”? Keep reading »
I woke up last Sunday morning — well, I don’t know that I was truly awake, but at least I wasn’t in bed any more — and stumbled to the kitchen for a giant glass of water with which to defuzz my thoroughly whiskey-fied mouth. In my hangover haze, I glanced across the living room to the coffee table, which held two empty glasses and a piece of old mail with my late-night scrawl on the back. It was a playlist.
We’d started with Darius Rucker’s new single, “True Believers,” because Patrick and I are true believers in pop country music. Now we are, anyways — I used to have more than a little detached irony mixed in with my Kenny Chesney appreciation, but that’s long since disappeared over the years of my relationship with Patrick, whose genuine love for the genre is both charming and contagious.
It’s becoming something of a tradition for the two of us: we spend a Saturday evening hanging out at the bar with a group of Austin feminists and allies that meet monthly to shore up our belief in the world being a livable place, and then we come home, drink whiskey on the rocks and watch music videos for hours. We sing along. We dance with each other. We trade stories about where we were when this or that song was popular. We debate the musical merits of the Zack Brown Band as musical successor to Jimmy Buffet. Keep reading »
“I was crawling on the floor. I remember throwing up. … I remember being on the floor … I have never felt anything quite like that. It was so visceral. It’s like someone has killed you and you have to live through it and watch it happen … It was awful.”
– Emma Stone recalls her first (vomit-inducing) heartbreak in a conversation with director Cameron Crowe in the latest issue of Interview. (Check out the awesome Mikael Jansson photos above!) Girl, I think we can all relate to that feeling. My first true heartbreak — when my fiance broke things off — left me bedridden, save for mandatory dog walks, for three days. The upside, I think, is though you may love others more in the future, the feeling of that first heartbreak is never repeated quite as acutely. Do you agree? How did you respond to your first heartbreak? [Interview]
Breaking up is, for lack of a better word, hard. But it doesn’t have to be. At least it doesn’t have to be nearly as hard as some people make it with the questionable wardrobe choices, mopey Facebook status updates and drunk dialing adventures. I don’t personally think celebrities should be considered role models, but I must admit they know how to break up in style; I mean seriously when was the last time you aired your dirty laundry and people looked on in awe? I bet the answer to that is a big fat never because no matter how cute your skivvies are, when they’re clean covered in the skid marks of heart break (and possibly shots of Hennessy) they’re less then appealing. Anyway, here are six steps to handling a breakup like a celebrity, which I’m sure has to be way better then attempting to bury yourself under a mountain of Cheeto dust. Keep reading »
We’d like to believe that the best way to break up with a person is to sit down with them face-to-face and have an honest, open discussion about why you feel the relationship should no longer continue. After a calm, mature discussion, you will both come to the amicable conclusion that the relationship isn’t working for either of you. You’ll share a friendly hug, and part ways saying, “I’m so glad we’re still friends.”
Can someone tell me on what planet this actually happens? I’d like to go there. It sounds tranquil and civilized. Keep reading »
There’s a reason why some relationships are classified as bad, and others are classified as toxic. A bad relationship is bad on Tuesday and still bad on Saturday, but a toxic relationship is bad on Tuesday and on Saturday it’s even worse. It affects you. You need to get out not just because you aren’t happy, but because forces within the relationship are actively working to make your life worse. So why don’t you leave? Well, there’s always a reason. Here are eight that just aren’t good enough. Read more…
Breaking up with a boyfriend or girlfriend is tough because it involves two of the hardest things that human beings have to do in their lives: 1) making life-changing decisions, and 2) accepting the idea that in order to feel better, you must first feel worse.
The easier courses of action are: 1) do nothing and simply endure a bad relationship, or 2) decide to behave so passive-aggressively awful to the person you’re dating that you force THEM to make the hard choice and break up with you first, which honestly, Sheila, was the COWARDS way out. I BENT OVER BACKWARDS TO SHOW YOU HOW MUCH I LOVED YOU AND YOU RESPOND BY HAVING SEX WITH YOUR THERAPIST? Who does that? Was it because I was the one who suggested you go into therapy in the first place? So it’s MY fault? I HAD to break up with you after that. You FORCED MY HAND. I mean look…. Keep reading »
I am fan of GOOD’s dating dealbreaker series (eerily similar to ours, but whatever) because I think it does a good job of looking back on past failed relationships and identifying the reason(s) things just didn’t work out. Sometimes these dealbreakers can seem insignificant on the surface, but actual indicate a larger problem; other times these dealbreakers are glaringly obvious compatibility flaws. Even if the specific story does not resonate with readers, the larger problems are often relatable. GOOD writer Melissa Jeltsen’s dealbreaker, according to the headline on her piece? “He Didn’t Go To College.” This made her an “obnoxious, pseudo intellectual elitist” in the words of Feministe writer Caperton.
I found Jeltsen’s story about breaking up with someone because he was not her intellectual equal to be nuanced, compelling, thoughtful, and self-reflective. Feministe’s takedown, on the other hand, while raising one or two decent points, was disproportionately nasty in tone. Yes, the title of her piece was somewhat simplistic, but it was eye-catching and likely written by her editor, as most headlines are. However, Jeltsen’s piece was about more than just breaking up with her boyfriend because he didn’t go to college. She writes that despite having a “deep and easy” connection with Duke, the boyfriend in question, she was not intellectually stimulated by him. Keep reading »
So, the other day I was talking with a dude friend of mine who’s going through a breakup. He and I dated a zillion years ago, and remained good buddies, and we often go to one another when we’re going through current relationship traumas. Breakups are universally terrible, whether you’re a girl, a dude, or something in between. But if my dude friend — and the anonymous crap dude blogger over at XOJane – are any proof, we’re given different messages about how to process our heartbreak. Take the crap dude XOJane blogger, for instance, whose friends seem to be telling him that the best way to get over his ex is to bang a zillion anonymous girls. In sum, the most ideal way to heal your heart is to treat someone else’s like crap.
We don’t really abide by that. And we think it’s about time that we help our boy friends out by offering our own tips and tricks for getting over a breakup. Remember — being a jerk begets more jerkish behavior in the world. And nobody wants that. Keep reading »
Two years into our relationship, Rick* received a verbal offer that would send him 2,500 miles away.
I couldn’t fathom how we could possibly have a successful relationship living such a great distance apart — even though I was the woman who’d urged him to apply for the job. He had asked me months before the job was even a possibility how I would feel about him splitting his time between San Francisco and Brooklyn. I uttered something along the lines, “I’m okay with that — as long as I don’t have to move.” But, once becoming long-distance became a reality, I suddenly felt abandoned. Instead of, “I’m happy for you,” our talks generally ended with me stating, “I don’t see this relationship lasting beyond December.”
I said it more than once.
Keep reading »