I’m back in the dating game again, sorta, and I’m not thrilled about it. One of the reasons? I remember, oh-so-well, how annoying it was when guys I thought I was connecting with and having fun with, pulled “the fade.” That is, when you’ve gone out on a few dates, had a great time, maybe hooked up a little, and then, BAM! He’s gone. Like he got lost in the Bermuda Triangle and forgot his cell phone. WTF is up with that? Are we blind to the signs that someone isn’t that interested? Did he meet someone new overnight? I went to my trusty soldiers, the guys on our IM, to get an explanation. Some of them clued me in quickly — others gave me a “Choose Your Own Adventure” style quiz… Keep reading »
For about four years in my mid-twenties, I dated and lived with a guy who was as wrong for me as a double-breasted blazer. He certainly wasn’t the only guy I ever got involved with who wasn’t Mr. Right, but he’s only one I stayed with about three years longer than I should have. I could cite plenty of reasons why it took me so long to leave him: he was comfortable, I was afraid of being alone, I got free turkey sandwiches at the restaurant he managed, but if I’m being honest, it was my financial dependency on him that made it so hard to end the relationship. Even now, I’m embarrassed to recall how I, an “independent woman,” allowed myself to be dependent on a man, but the truth is I was lazy and spoiled. Keep reading »
Whenever you get out of a relationship, do you think to yourself, “My next boyfriend is going to…” and then start a wish list traits you’d like this imaginary person to possess? For example, in high school I dated a guy who had very small feet and walked with them angled out. After we broke up, I thought, “My next boyfriend is not going to have small feet or walk like a duck.” When you’re with someone, you don’t let yourself think about what bothers you about them, but once the two of you are over, you start realizing what you want that they couldn’t give you. It’s a little thing we do to help us figure out what we want from our next relationship. After the jump, read a few wishes from around The Frisky office, then leave yours in the comments. Keep reading »
A few weeks into dating him, when it wasn’t even clear that we were doing more than falling into bed and blogging the pillow talk the morning after, he texted me to ask, “We’re not secret right?”
“Secret?” I wrote back. “Aren’t we on Flickr?”
That’s the moment when it got, as the uselessly succinct Facebook menu options put it, both “serious” and “complicated.”
Our relationship wasn’t founded simply on this trendy sort of self-disclosure: we were just reporting on our sex lives before anyone else did. It shouldn’t have shocked me, let alone the audience we gained along the way, that it’d all have to end online, too. So how do you deal with a breakup like that, without breaking up with the Internet? Keep reading »
It’s become my understanding that “sex on the beach” is a cliché that leads to sand in bad places. However, sex and beach are both words that bring to mind the ultimate summer fling. Scantily clad bodies, sun, surf, outdoor bars, gleaming tans, it all makes for a lovely little fantasy. Unfortunately, fantasies often come to an end. Sorry kid, time to wake up from that dream. Fall is almost here! So how are you going to let your summer fling fade gently into the sunset? Here are my tips:
(WO)MAN UP: I don’t like people who ignore — they have absolutely no backbone and are cowards. Own up to what you’re doing. Make it clear that it is O-V-E-R. This was fun, but now it’s done. You don’t want to get stuck with a Glenn Close in Fatal Attraction: “I will not be IGNORED, Daniel!”
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Breakups are bad enough without looking like a total fool in the aftermath. So, in a bold move of honesty, and to help save others in the same place, I’m going to admit that in the throes of some past breakups I’ve been a little bit intense. I’ve learned my lessons on what not to do through a lot of tears, friend and family interventions, and often through making huge mistakes. And now I will pass along this harnessed wisdom to you.
Now, there are probably a lot of people who are just as stubborn as me, who in the face of rejection might just want to burn their ex’s stuff and cause a huge scene — to hell with other people’s advice. However, I’m going to beg you not to – it’s not worth it. Of course, just for clarification, if someone did something truly horrendous that warrants major destruction, such as cheating? Well then all bets are off.
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Color me cynical ladies, but let’s face it—no matter how great your relationship might be going at the moment, chances are it’s going to end. And while breaking up is never pleasant, why make the inevitable anymore painful than it has to be? Since there are very few “great” ways to dump a man, we’re going to list all the ways you shouldn’t go about kicking your once-loved to the curb:
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Sure, more than 20 million people visit an online dating site every month, but how many do you actually want to meet? And then after you do come face to face with the few you deem worthy, how many of those do you want to keep seeing? If your experience is anything like mine, you know that the second number is small — heck, it might even be zero. So, after you’ve gone out with someone you’d rather not have to feign interest in, you have a couple choices. Keep reading »