Tag Archives: breaking up

Dear Wendy: “My New Boyfriend Disapproves Of How I Handle My Ex”

I recently separated from a boyfriend of several years and am now dating someone new. Long story short, I separated from the ex because I always had to pay for everything. I feel stupid and angry at how long I accepted no progress with him. The separation so far has been reasonably amicable and I’m trying to keep it that way. New guy knows the situation and that I am still settling some financial items. I own the cars, for example, including a truck the ex put 1/3 of the money into. At first, I was willing to just let him have the truck, which he really wants, and I would take the other cheaper car, but the new guy doesn’t agree with me on this. Basically, he feels I’ve paid more than enough into the relationship and should at least get some money from the truck. I agreed, and so I told the ex; he balked, but agreed to pay me some more for the truck (but not its full value). He doesn’t have a job though, and the insurance is coming due; I want it transferred to him already but I’m worried he’s not going to pay me for it. New guy would not be happy if he found out ex got away with the truck, but deep down, I just want to put this all behind me. I’m worried, though, that he’ll assume if I don’t stick it to the ex like he deserves, that means I’m still okay with being walked all over. Am I being a pushover still? What do I do? — Possible Pushover

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Dear Wendy: “When’s The Best Time To Dump Someone?”

I’ve been dating this guy officially for about two months now, but before that we were pretty much friends with benefits. I was completely fine with that and honestly preferred it. Now that we have the title of “boyfriend and girlfriend,” I feel like I don’t want it anymore. He’s been off in Europe for a month and coming back right after my birthday. We’ve kept in touch through e-mail and he’s told me that he bought me something. I’m truly convinced that I want to break up but I don’t know when the right time is to do it. I can’t break up with him right when he comes back, and his birthday is also a couple of days away. When or how do I do this? — Friends First

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30-Day Breakup Guide Challenge: Calmly Move On (Or At Least Try To) On Day 30

When I first started road-testing The Frisky 30 Breakup Guide, I didn’t even know what calm looked like. Seeing photos of my ex was enough to make my hands tremble, running into him at a party inevitably meant that venom would threaten to roll off my tongue and I would take on a Cheshire cat grin, trying madly to disguise and displace the feeling of a miniature ice-pick being twisted repeatedly into my heart. “Calm” meant drinking a half of a bottle of wine in bed and being able to wash the tears off in the ladies room at work without anyone noticing. Looking calm was physically impossible. Keep reading »

30-Day Breakup Guide: Day 30

To celebrate the publication of our first-ever book, The Frisky 30-Day Breakup Guide, we’re re-running the original series that inspired it, and having writer Maude Standish bravely road test the book’s expanded tasks and tips. So follow along, chart your own progress, and find out everything else you need to know to forget he-who-shall-not-be-named!

Calmly Move On (Or at Least Look Like It)
Today, you will make eye contact with an attractive man while walking to work, driving, or paying for gum at the 7-Eleven. When you’ve locked eyes, smile at him. Nine times out of 10 he’ll probably smile back, but if you get a dud, smile at the next hot piece. This is called flirting, which you might have forgotten all about while you were upset about what’s-his-name.
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30-Day Breakup Guide: Day 29

To celebrate the publication of our first-ever book, The Frisky 30-Day Breakup Guide, we’re re-running the original series that inspired it, and having writer Maude Standish bravely road test the book’s expanded tasks and tips. So follow along, chart your own progress, and find out everything else you need to know to forget he-who-shall-not-be-named!

Go To Brunch Alone
This is a bold step post-breakup, but you’ve built up to it. Pick a good restaurant in your neighborhood, bring a book or The New York Times, and order yourself some serious pancakes — and a mimosa, if you feel so inclined. Leave your shades on if you feel like going incognito. And then … just be. Keep reading »

Dear Wendy: “Can I Dump A Guy And Still Keep In Touch With His Family?”

I have been in a relationship with a great guy for almost two years now, in a city that’s about 1000 miles from where I grew up. I’ve recently become unhappy about living here in the big city (which I really can’t afford) and have thought long and hard about moving back closer to my parents. I have also been thinking lately that, while I’m content in my relationship, I really don’t think I would be happy for the rest of my life with this guy. He’s just not “the one.” I know I have to be honest with him, and that it has to happen soon because it’s not fair that I think these things without telling him. He’s just such a good guy and we recently got back from a great weekend with his family; my question is: Is it possible to end this relationship without losing touch with this guy and his family? If I broke things off and moved away, is there any chance of everyone not hating me? — Needs a Change

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