Tag Archives: breaking up

Dear Wendy: “Is It A Bad Idea To Move In With My Ex And Her Boyfriend?”

I’m planning on moving in to a new apartment with two close friends in a few months. We’re all in our mid-20s now and hang out on a weekly basis. The two of them have been dating for a little over two years now, and like the idea of sharing an apartment with a close friend before moving out completely on their own together. I’ve been friends with the girl for about nine years, and the guy for about six, and was actually the one who introduced them. The girl and I also dated for about two and a half years, but broke it off over three years ago, while still in college. After a cool-off period, we slipped back into our previous friendship far better than either of us expected, and have been extremely close since. While I’m not worried about living with the two of them, some of my family and friends think it’s a bad idea. I have no desire to get back with her, or really to change the relationship we currently have in any way. We actually lived together our senior year of college (after the breakup) with another mutual friend. That all worked out rather well, despite the obvious concerns to the contrary, so I feel we definitely have some past experience to believe there shouldn’t be any significant problems living together. Do you think having an intertwined past could prove problematic when living together? — Cautiously Optimistic

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Dear Wendy: “My BFF Dumped Me Over Facebook”

My best friend of three years recently sent me a Facebook message out of the blue telling me that she no longer wishes to be friends, or in contact, with me. Her reasoning was that being friends with me causes her “too much stress” and she has been thinking about it “for the last two months.” The two examples she gave of me causing her stress were when I got annoyed at her at a party (when she was being rude to the host) and when I got angry at her for, at the last second, choosing to go to a job over helping me move (she told me that if I wanted her help, I would have to pay her $200!). These were two small fights that we had already discussed and (I thought) had resolved. But she told me that I should no longer contact her, and even dis-invited me to a party she’s throwing. We had plans to travel abroad over winter vacation, and she was going to come to my family’s Thanksgiving this year (for the third year in a row). Why continue making plans with me if you’re thinking of dropping me as a friend? Some of our mutual friends have hypothesized that because she and her first serious boyfriend are still in the “honeymoon period” where everything is all roses and sugar, maybe she’s rejecting any relationship that isn’t “perfect” in her mind. I had a lot of problems with depression, anxiety, and suicidal tendencies when I was younger, and basically had no real friendships until around the time I met her, and her behavior is triggering some of those old feelings. I have no idea how to handle this if she refuses to even speak to me. — Confused, Hurt, and Betrayed

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What’s Your Most Over-The-Top Breakup Moment?

Breakups are never pleasant, but sometimes lovers just exacerbate the pain and humiliation. Like Anthony Hinrichs, of Madison, Wisconsin. Anthony and his gal pal Tonia were caught having sex — in a park, in broad daylight — by a team of firefighters and Anthony’s girlfriend. Keep reading »

Girl Talk: Should You Mercy-Kill A Dead-End Relationship?

Bad Band. Jew Joker. Sandwich. The Brute. AwwMike. Babycheese. My laundry list of discarded loves reads like a storyboard of comic book villains, each nickname a clue as to their respective fatal flaws. Anyone who knows me well knows I have a history of dating men who are wildly inappropriate for me. It’s been a quirk I myself was willing to accept, further proof of my fun-loving, devil-may-care spirit (this despite the days and weeks of sobbing and agonizing over wholly ridiculous relationships when they inevitably ended). Keep reading »

Girl Talk: How I Ended Up Falling Into A Lake At My Best Friend’s Wedding

Three years ago, I went to a friend’s wedding in California. My boyfriend at the time (eventually my ex-fiance) got so drunk that he passed out on the side of the road as we made the trek from the reception to the after-party. I had to take M. back to our hotel and ended up missing all of the late-night festivities. When we broke up a year later, one of the more strangely profound resentments I felt was that he’d ruined that evening for me; I should have been celebrating, not taking care of him. Keep reading »

Who Is Your Flashback Ex?

Clutch mag introduced me to the phrase “flashback ex” with just a headline, and I was immediately brought back to the makeup sex an ex and I once had. But as I read the Clutch article, hoping for juicy tidbits on someone else’s sex memories, I quickly realized the writer was recounting all the miserable experiences she’s had with ex-boyfriends. Keep reading »

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