Tag Archives: breaking up

Dear Wendy: “My BFF Dumped Me Over Facebook”

My best friend of three years recently sent me a Facebook message out of the blue telling me that she no longer wishes to be friends, or in contact, with me. Her reasoning was that being friends with me causes her “too much stress” and she has been thinking about it “for the last two months.” The two examples she gave of me causing her stress were when I got annoyed at her at a party (when she was being rude to the host) and when I got angry at her for, at the last second, choosing to go to a job over helping me move (she told me that if I wanted her help, I would have to pay her $200!). These were two small fights that we had already discussed and (I thought) had resolved. But she told me that I should no longer contact her, and even dis-invited me to a party she’s throwing. We had plans to travel abroad over winter vacation, and she was going to come to my family’s Thanksgiving this year (for the third year in a row). Why continue making plans with me if you’re thinking of dropping me as a friend? Some of our mutual friends have hypothesized that because she and her first serious boyfriend are still in the “honeymoon period” where everything is all roses and sugar, maybe she’s rejecting any relationship that isn’t “perfect” in her mind. I had a lot of problems with depression, anxiety, and suicidal tendencies when I was younger, and basically had no real friendships until around the time I met her, and her behavior is triggering some of those old feelings. I have no idea how to handle this if she refuses to even speak to me. — Confused, Hurt, and Betrayed

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What’s Your Most Over-The-Top Breakup Moment?

Breakups are never pleasant, but sometimes lovers just exacerbate the pain and humiliation. Like Anthony Hinrichs, of Madison, Wisconsin. Anthony and his gal pal Tonia were caught having sex — in a park, in broad daylight — by a team of firefighters and Anthony’s girlfriend. Keep reading »

Girl Talk: Should You Mercy-Kill A Dead-End Relationship?

Bad Band. Jew Joker. Sandwich. The Brute. AwwMike. Babycheese. My laundry list of discarded loves reads like a storyboard of comic book villains, each nickname a clue as to their respective fatal flaws. Anyone who knows me well knows I have a history of dating men who are wildly inappropriate for me. It’s been a quirk I myself was willing to accept, further proof of my fun-loving, devil-may-care spirit (this despite the days and weeks of sobbing and agonizing over wholly ridiculous relationships when they inevitably ended). Keep reading »

Girl Talk: How I Ended Up Falling Into A Lake At My Best Friend’s Wedding

Three years ago, I went to a friend’s wedding in California. My boyfriend at the time (eventually my ex-fiance) got so drunk that he passed out on the side of the road as we made the trek from the reception to the after-party. I had to take M. back to our hotel and ended up missing all of the late-night festivities. When we broke up a year later, one of the more strangely profound resentments I felt was that he’d ruined that evening for me; I should have been celebrating, not taking care of him. Keep reading »

Who Is Your Flashback Ex?

Clutch mag introduced me to the phrase “flashback ex” with just a headline, and I was immediately brought back to the makeup sex an ex and I once had. But as I read the Clutch article, hoping for juicy tidbits on someone else’s sex memories, I quickly realized the writer was recounting all the miserable experiences she’s had with ex-boyfriends. Keep reading »

Dear Wendy: “Now That I Have A New Boyfriend My Ex Won’t Leave Me Alone”

Wendy is on vacation, so we’ll be posting some of her more popular past Dear Wendy columns (that some of you may have missed!) to get you through the week.

I dated a guy back in 2006 and part of 2007 who eventually broke up with me. I was upset at the time but then moved to another city so I could move on with my life. Well, I have moved on with my life; I am currently dating a man I care about deeply. My current boyfriend and I have been together since late December 2009 and official since January. Since I started dating him, the old boyfriend has been occasionally sending me texts, writing on my Facebook, calling my phone and when I don’t pick up, leaving voice mails that send the message he’s desperate to talk to me. I feel it is clear the old boyfriend has feelings for me — there was one phone call where in one sentence he used every old inside joke we ever had. I am exceedingly content in the relationship I have with my boyfriend now and have no plans to wreck it. I have no ill feelings towards the old boyfriend; in my mind, he is something of what now feels like a past life. However, my current boyfriend is upset and angry that the old ex keeps trying to get in touch with me. I have no desire to create unnecessary drama and just want a peaceful life. How might I best handle the situation with no animosity directed at me as a result? — Happier Now

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