Last week I started a discussion about how long it takes to get over an ex. Answers varied, of course, depending on lots of different factors, and some people even admitted they weren’t sure whether they’d ever get over an ex. While we may not be there now, most of us can remember a time when we wondered the very same thing. Fortunately, time really does heal most wounds and eventually the fog lifts and the day comes when you realize, suddenly, you’re gloriously, blessedly, wonderfully, finally over him! That day doesn’t come without warning, of course. There are always signs you’re moving on. After the jump, 15 ways to know you’re over an ex. Keep reading »
Perhaps the better question isn’t whether you would tell your BFF that you slept with her ex, but whether you’d sleep with her ex in the first place. And maybe a more interesting question is: how would you react if your best friend confessed she slept with your ex? A woman writing to the Daily Mail’s advice columnist, Rowan Pelling, may find out the answer to that very question. In her letter to Pelling, she writes:
Six months ago, my best friend split up with her boyfriend of five years. She was desperately in love with him and heartbroken when he told her the relationship was over. I never thought they were ideally suited (neither did most of their friends) and wasn’t surprised that he told her he didn’t love her enough to marry her. A few weeks ago, I went to a party where my friend’s ex was also a guest. He talked to me all night, we danced and ended up going home together and having incredible sex. He says he’s always found me attractive and wanted to tell me years ago. We have amazing chemistry and if he were any other man we would be dating by now. But I know my best friend would be devastated. I’ve always told her everything, but now I feel too guilty to lift the phone for a chat. What should I do?
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My boyfriend and I had broken up, and my heart was in pieces.
I needed a weird and fluky experience to distract me from reality and test my ability to feign composure. And, as we all know, the first step in getting over heartbreak is random sex. What better way to combine sex and weirdness than Craigslist, where people hook up based on absolutely nothing — luck, timing, fate?
I consulted my Meaningless Hookup Expert, aka my Best Gay Friend, to formulate a plan; presented here for your gawking/edification is our first-hand guide on how to have a cathartic, post-breakup, strings-free CL hookup. Keep reading »
A new study says it takes the typical person 17 months and 26 days to feel ready to move on after a divorce, which got me thinking: How long does it take to get over a regular ol’ breakup (you know, one that doesn’t require lawyers)? The answer, of course, is that there isn’t one right answer. It took years for me to get over my first love, someone I was with only about ten months. On the other hand, it took about six weeks before I was ready to move on after I ended a four-year, live-in relationship with another boyfriend. Of course, it actually took me the last two years we were together to finally pull the plug, but once I did there was no looking back. Keep reading »
New York magazine’s “Sex Diaries” issue is on stands now and it’s a fairly entertaining read. The feature spotlights a number of different New Yorkers who have shared the details of their sex life over a period of days. The one that interested me the most was written by a 29-year-old expat living in Cabo San Lucas with her boyfriend, or, rather, her “future ex-boyfriend” (FEB) whom she’s about to dump in favor of moving back to the states. Her sex diary is an up-and-down tale of being angry and then sad and then horny, as she and her FEB fight and then f**k. “It’s the first time I’ve ever cried during sex,” she writes, “And the first I’ve also had such a strong orgasm come with it.” Color me crazy, but when I’m angry or sad with a boyfriend, the last thing I want to do is screw. But maybe I’m alone! A commenter on her sex diary wrote, “I totally get the whole knowing-you’re-about-breakup-makes-hooking-up-awesome-thing.” Do you get it? Have you had amazing sex with someone, knowing the relationship was about to end? [NYMag.com] Keep reading »
Despite valiant human rights work on behalf of Angelina Jolie to make “the other woman” not look like a big ol’ skank, the truth is most people still think “the other woman” is … well, a big ol’ skank. And guess what, ladies?! There’s this awesome double standard where people shrug their shoulders at Mr. Married But Couldn’t Keep His Pants Zipped and say, “Boys will be boys,” while they give you the stink-eye, you home-wreckin’ ho! So you have your work cut out for you! Unfortunately, instead of hopping a cheap-o flight out of town to wash that man right out of her hair, some “other women” go a little bonkers when the man doesn’t ditch his wife.
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There’s a superstition in Caribbean culture that says you should never buy your boyfriend or girlfriend shoes because he/she will use them to walk right out of your life. The one time I accepted shoes from a boyfriend (he wasn’t Caribbean), I hadn’t asked for them, and I broke up with him about a month later — all of this is more than a coincidence in my mind. So, shoe shopping has always been one of the ways I get over a breakup, because it’s easier to walk away from Mr. Wrong when I’m wearing super hot heels. And when I really think about it, quality shoes are more supportive and uplifting than a no-good man any day. Keep reading »
He’s the perfect height. He has perfect hands. You love his sister. You love his scent. How can you be with someone who doesn’t know how to play the tuba? Or speak French? He is perfect and everything about him is perfect by association. The problem is he doesn’t want to be with you. And now you’re never going to find love again. Right? Wrong. Here is what you need to remember: Keep reading »
Think you know everything there is to know about that ex you’ve obsessed over? Well, authors Heather Belle and Michelle Fiordaliso want you to know that there is so, so much more. (Curses!) The two psychotherapists have both “professional and personal experience with exes.” Some of us could use some pro insight on factors like how to be friends with an ex, whether you should get back together, why you really shouldn’t and, say, moving on. Their new book Everything You Always Wanted To Know About Ex tackles all of this. Anything that helps us step away from the dramz is probably a good thing, right? Read it when you’re contemplating a drunk dial. [Amazon] Keep reading »