It can be confusing to sort out your feelings for someone, especially if you’ve been in a committed relationship with them for a long time. We make up all kinds of crazy reasons to stick together rather than break up, but just because you’ve been together a long time, that doesn’t mean it’s healthy for you. There are lots of obvious reasons to break up, but the ones on this list disguise themselves as reasons to stay together.
1. “He hasn’t done anything wrong.”/”He’s such a good person”/”He’s a great boyfriend.” In every other area of life, not doing anything wrong does not earn you an A+. It earns you a passing grade, but a passing grade is not the same as a stellar significant other. Not doing anything wrong does not equate to doing everything right. You deserve someone who is more than a C. Read more on Your Tango….
Meet our friend Tom. He’s a married guy with tons of relationship experience, and a skilled advice giver who’s here to answer all your pressing sex, dating and relationship questions. Have a query for Tom? Email it to email@example.com and we’ll make sure he gets it! All questions will be posted anonymously, unless otherwise requested. First up…
“I’m thinking of moving in with my boyfriend. But the past two times I’ve lived with someone, we fought too much and it fell apart. Any advice for how not to let that happen again?”
Yes. Get a cat.
Keep reading »
“I’m sorry” is totally overrated when it comes to the little spats that arise in long-term relationships. Because you can’t be sorry that you talk loud when you’re drunk or that you like to wake up at 6 a.m. or that you love show tunes. These are things about you that are never going to change, the same way that your partner’s never going to stop eating cold pizza for breakfast or interrupting your serious conversations in public to snap an amazing picture. You don’t need to be sorry for these things, but that doesn’t stop snits and fights from cropping up over these minor annoyances. Your unconditional love for your partner doesn’t stop you from occasionally yelling, “Get that slice of pizza out of your mouth!” and then seeing his face droop because he loves cold pizza so much and you know it. So, how to make things right without changing who you or your partner is? Here are some creative techniques to help smooth things out when those little pet peeves get in your way… Keep reading »
The first day I met Jason* he told me he was a virgin and a “nice guy” – which was why, according to him, he was unable to get many dates.
“Women are only interested in dating guys who treat them like shit,” he told me.
The virgin thing wasn’t by choice, he claimed, it was just that “nice guys always get friend-zoned.” He made it clear right away that he was interested in me, but I wasn’t attracted to him at first.
He wasn’t really my type physically, but that wasn’t the only reason I wasn’t into him initially. I’ve just never gotten hot for guys who feel the need to tell me about their sexual experiences (or lack thereof) or whine about their dating life (or lack thereof) before we’ve even gone on a first date. Plus, I still had an on-again off-again thing with an ex. So, there was that.
But once I got to know Jason, I saw that he was funny and smart, and we had a few things in common. In a college city where everyone always wanted to be out all night clubbing, he was one of the few people I knew who was content to occasionally spend a night in, just watching Adult Swim or playing an old Sega game. We quickly became friends. (Or, as Jason would say, he quickly became friend-zoned.) Keep reading »
The older I get, the better I become at listening to what my intuition is telling me. I haven’t always been able to read when something is “off” with a guy, but I’m figuring it out. And thank God.
Take this weekend. I’d been messaging for a couple days with a guy from an online dating website. Let’s call him Empty Profile. We’re calling him that because he had a mostly empty profile. He wrote a few brief lines about himself, which didn’t reveal much, but he did post several pictures of himself. We flirted back and forth and Empty Profile eventually asked me if I wanted to get drinks on Saturday night. Keep reading »
Have you been watching every episode of “The Bachelor” and “The Bachelorette” since way back? Us, too. Have you been just a little disappointed and confused and, oh why don’t I just say it, bitter at how much less shiny and magical actual romances are in real life? Us, too. Have you ever acted like a coo-coo bananas bird after a breakup? US, TOO! Well, there’s a new book out this summer called Love Rehab: A Novel In 12 Steps, written by Jo Piazza, a former gossip columnist for the New York Daily News, that combines all of these topics!
We get mailed a lot of books that you could classify in the “chick lit” genre here at The Frisky. Amazon.com ain’t got nothing on us! Most of them I send straight to the giveaway pile, but every so often I’ll read one (preferably lying in the sun, with my pedicured toes in the sand) that’s smart and funny and shareable with friends. Love Rehab is that book. After the jump, Jo Piazza answered some questions for me via email about her best breakup tips and her thoughts on current “Bachelorette” Desiree! Keep reading »
Today in Things I Should Have Seen Coming: the jewelry my ex-husband gave my was fake. And really, why wouldn’t it be? It’s the perfect, almost too cliche, synopsis to the story of our marriage. Lies — all of it.
Almost three years ago, at the start of what would become a long, drawn out and difficult divorce, I had tucked little pink suede bag that contained the jewelry he had given me away in the back of my safe. Admittedly, it wasn’t much: two rings, a third passed down to him from a family member, and a tennis bracelet.
It seemed unfathomable, at the time, that I would ever reach this point, standing in a quaint little shop trying to convert the pieces into cash. I imagined myself handing them over to our daughter when she was older or just letting it collect dust, because selling it would just be wrong. Disloyal. Tacky, even. Keep reading »
Celebrity gossip is not the place to look for nuance or thoughtfulness. A lot of it is downright sexist. Take, for example, today’s headline on New York Post gossip page’s Page Six column, “Selena Gomez ‘To Blame For Justin Bieber’s Behavior’.”
You’re probably aware that pop stars Gomez and Bieber were, for a time, a couple. They broke up. You’re also probably aware that Bieber has been losing it a little bit lately: arguing with his neighbors, showing up late/canceling concerts, trying to fight paparazzi, running around in gas masks, abandoning his pet monkey.
Apparently, all of that is his ex-girlfriend’s fault! Keep reading »
Ivana Trump famously said, “Don’t get mad, get everything.” Jennifer from Greensboro, North Carolina, says whip out the charge card and buy yourself a humiliating billboard reading:
“Michael – GPS tracker – $250, Nikon camera with zoom lens – $1600, Catching my LYING HUSBAND and buying this billboard with our investment account – Priceless. Tell Jessica you’re moving in! – Jennifer.”
I hope Jessica is ready for this important step in their relationship. [AdWeek]
I seriously never thought I’d say this: I miss being engaged.
I don’t miss wedding planning, and I don’t miss being talked to as if, as a human with a ring and a vagina, I had no interests aside from talking about the details of “my” (so rarely, “our”) big day. I sure as shit don’t miss shopping for wedding dresses. I don’t miss getting Wedding Industrial Side-Eye because Patrick and I had, like, a wedding budget.
What I miss is the day-to-day experience of preparing to love someone publicly. Keep reading »