Tag Archives: breaking up

6 Lessons From My Last Breakup That Are Getting Me Through This One

Amazing! Getting your heart broken does not have to be the worst thing in the world. After ending my most recent relationship last week, I’ve found myself bouncing back in rather good shape, due in no small part to the lessons I learned from having my heart broken once before. The breakup with my fiance over a year ago was the first real huge kick to the stomach I’d ever experienced and it taught me six things that made coping this time so much easier. Keep reading »

Debate This: Should A Failed Relationship Ever Get A Reboot?

Watching the recently released Nancy Meyers flick “It’s Complicated” got me thinking: Wow, Meryl Streep has beautiful skin. It also got me thinking about the notion of a relationship reboot. Not to be confused with backsliding, where you ill-advisedly reconnect with a very recent ex after a breakup, the reboot presupposes that a goodly amount of time has passed, as it did in the movie when two middle-aged divorcees tried to give it another go after ten years apart. It’s no surprise that the relationship reboot has become a rom-com trope – it fulfills a fantasy that a lot of us have about the “what ifs” of relationships that have ended for one reason or another, and exploits hopeful ideas of personal growth and fate. There’s an undeniable allure and romance to reviving those lost loves, but does it work in practice? Or is it true that everything ends for a reason? Two women debate whether relationship redos are worth it or not.
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Goodwill Wants Your Relationship Baggage

“Just because your divorce was messy doesn’t mean your house has to be!” — a catchy motto the peeps out at the Colonial Park Goodwill in Pennsylvania have been touting in support of their Dump Your X’s Stuff Drive. Just in time for Valentine’s Day, the charity has decided to help the brokenhearted unload some of the literal baggage from former relationships. After all, it’s enough s/he wasted your time, you can’t let them continue to suck up valuable shelf and closet space, girl! So, bring that box full of crap down to Goodwill on Feb. 12 and dump them for good. As for all that emotional baggage you’re dealing with, you can count on us gals at The Frisky to help you sort all that out. [PennLive.com] Keep reading »

Dealbreaker: He Hated My Clothes

I am newly single (again). After a fun, but exhausting, up-and-down five months, my boyfriend-ish-person and I broke up this week. I’m sad about it — I really did fall for him and had so much fun with him. But I’m also a little relieved. The drama was wearing thin. Plus, he hated my clothes. Yeah. My clothes. Keep reading »

Girl Talk: How I Handled The Great 20-Something Breakup

There will be some point in your career as a 20-something when someone will break your heart, and bad. By bad I mean, you may think you’re having a nervous breakdown and will have the desire to be hospitalized. In some cases, this actually may happen. Here’s how to deal:

Suck it up: When I was crying at my desk, my older, married co-worker sat down and looked me straight in my tear-stained eyes and said, “You have to understand, this guy might be one of a bunch of different guys you will date until you find someone who’s really in it to win it,” he said. Putting this person who had just knocked me on my ass within the context of a long line of potential douche bags down the road somehow made it hurt a bit less. Keep reading »

5 Ways To Feel Better After A Breakup

If there’s one thing that redeems the terrible process of breaking up with someone, it’s the transformation-rich recovery period that follows. Don’t get us wrong: Breakups are a sad, sorry business, and even the cleanest ones entail some kind of annoying consequence or follow-up, like adjusting to an empty bed or having to return that awesome space heater he left at your apartment. The key to making the most of your breakup is engaging in life-affirming activities: little things that will empower you start over and set out into the great unknown (singlehood—eek!) with courage and resilience. Resist binge-drinking, rebound guys or ex sex, and consider these fun post-breakup activities instead. Keep reading »

Girl Talk: I’m Sort Of Obsessed With My Ex’s New Girlfriend

I think we can all agree that the internet has made it much, much harder to get over a breakup. Sure, you may have successfully erased his number from your phone, used his junior high football T-shirt as a rag, put away all your couple photos, ordered him never to call again, and cursed him to hell, but all of that effort is almost a waste considering he’s just a click of the mouse away.

After a while, though, watching how he’s growing in the midriff via Facebook photos loses its luster. You already know almost everything about him anyway, after all that time you spent/wasted. But what about his new girlfriend? She’s someone to be curious about. Keep reading »

Girl Talk: Have You Experienced Secondhand Heartbreak?

A couple months ago I discovered that the husband half of a couple I’ve known for years was leaving his wife for one of his grad students. I was shocked. I mean, I’ve had friends go through relationship ups and downs before, but this couple was one I’d always looked up to as a relationship ideal. It sounds cliché, but they seemed like the perfect couple. They were both creative, independent (yet also very supportive of each other) and seemed very much in love. They went on adventurous vacations, were both still super hot—hell, they even had a house with a white picket fence! How could they break up?! How could they do this to me?! Keep reading »

Social Media’s A Stage, And We’re All Merely Players

Hey, breaking news, guys: the paper of record has just discovered that social media makes breaking up harder than it used to be. In an article called “Breaking Up in a Digital Fishbowl,” The New York Times reports that in this day of shared email passwords, Facebook, Twitter and various other social media platforms, it’s nearly impossible to truly disconnect from an ex:

[The] idea of what it means to break up is [also] being redefined. Where once a spurned lover could use scissors (literally) to cut an ex out of the picture, digital images of the smiling couple in happier days abound on the Web and are difficult to delete. Status updates and tweets have a way of wending their way back to scorned exes, thanks to the interconnectedness of social media. And breakups, awkward and drawn-out in person, are even more so online as details are parsed by the curious, their faces pressed against the digital glass.

Even for those of us who have been spared messy online breakups, it isn’t exactly news that sites like Facebook redefine (and invent new) dating rituals that are complex and difficult to navigate. Though the article lacks any actual news, it does give us an excuse to revisit the issue, one that brings many questions to the forefront. Like: is the convenience of connection worth the price of our privacy? And: are we merely “performers” on the stage of social media platforms, continually changing our role as our relationships to the other players change and evolve? Keep reading »

12 Times You Can’t Break Up With Someone

I’ve gone through breakups on the day before Valentine’s, on Yom Kippur, and once even naked. Actually, that was probs the best one, strangely enough; it felt so honest and, hey, at least I spared myself bad sex. Anyway, as someone who dates a lot — pretty unsuccessfully — I know about breakups. They’re a fact of life love. So, if you’re planning on dumping your boo, here are some times you’re gonna have to carry that weight just a little bit longer. Otherwise, you might wind up in a situation similar to this tragic Dater X Christmas story. As they say, timing is everything! Keep reading »

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