Tag Archives: breaking up

Social Media’s A Stage, And We’re All Merely Players

Hey, breaking news, guys: the paper of record has just discovered that social media makes breaking up harder than it used to be. In an article called “Breaking Up in a Digital Fishbowl,” The New York Times reports that in this day of shared email passwords, Facebook, Twitter and various other social media platforms, it’s nearly impossible to truly disconnect from an ex:

[The] idea of what it means to break up is [also] being redefined. Where once a spurned lover could use scissors (literally) to cut an ex out of the picture, digital images of the smiling couple in happier days abound on the Web and are difficult to delete. Status updates and tweets have a way of wending their way back to scorned exes, thanks to the interconnectedness of social media. And breakups, awkward and drawn-out in person, are even more so online as details are parsed by the curious, their faces pressed against the digital glass.

Even for those of us who have been spared messy online breakups, it isn’t exactly news that sites like Facebook redefine (and invent new) dating rituals that are complex and difficult to navigate. Though the article lacks any actual news, it does give us an excuse to revisit the issue, one that brings many questions to the forefront. Like: is the convenience of connection worth the price of our privacy? And: are we merely “performers” on the stage of social media platforms, continually changing our role as our relationships to the other players change and evolve? Keep reading »

12 Times You Can’t Break Up With Someone

I’ve gone through breakups on the day before Valentine’s, on Yom Kippur, and once even naked. Actually, that was probs the best one, strangely enough; it felt so honest and, hey, at least I spared myself bad sex. Anyway, as someone who dates a lot — pretty unsuccessfully — I know about breakups. They’re a fact of life love. So, if you’re planning on dumping your boo, here are some times you’re gonna have to carry that weight just a little bit longer. Otherwise, you might wind up in a situation similar to this tragic Dater X Christmas story. As they say, timing is everything! Keep reading »

Dater X: I Got Dumped For Christmas

Fine, I’ll admit it. I had many a daydream about how I was going to spend the week between Christmas and New Year’s. I was looking forward to a staycation and getting to spend lots of time with the Architect. We’d been dating for a month and a half and I imagined us heading out in the snow to museums, cuddling up on the couch to watch TV shows, going to parties as a couple, and having sleepovers where, for once, we could actually sleep in. So my stomach got that just-belly-flopped-off-the-high-dive feeling when he called on Christmas Eve and said, “Can we talk?”

Noooooooooo! Keep reading »

It’s Not You, It’s Me — We’ve Got Lame Breakup Excuses

While flipping through a copy of People recently, I saw that in the “out” section of a recent Style Watch “in” and “out” list — sandwiched between things like “stainless steel home decor” and “molten chocolate cake” — was “long distance relationships.” This struck me as something that really could never be either in or out, so I had to hear the explanation.

“It’s part of a new green, eco-conscious attitude: Break up with your out-of-state boyfriend or girlfriend because it’s not sustainable, and date local!” Jennifer Ganshirt of Frank About Women, a marketing-to-women consulting firm, told the mag.

Granted, it makes for a lot of fantastic break-up lines: “Colin, it’s not you, it’s the environment,” or, “I think we should see more sustainable people” or even, “There’s another woman: Mother Earth.”

But beyond the fact that this is taking the green thing a little too far, is there seriously anyone who would actually use an excuse like this to break it off?

Apparently, there is. After quizzing friends, it turns out that there are even more lame ways to pull the plug. Read more Keep reading »

Girl Talk: Instead Of “I’ll Never,” Here’s What “I’ll Always” Do In A Relationship

Over the last year, I have spent a lot of time — both in my free time and on this site — thinking and venting about the mistakes I made and the lessons I learned from the breakup of my five-year relationship with my ex. Lots of “I’ll nevers” have come out of my mouth and onto the keyboard. I’ll never date a professional bulls**tter again! I’ll never try to heal an emotional cripple! I’ll never ignore my gut instinct again! Good lessons, for sure. But honestly, all this “never” talk makes it easy to forget that I — hell, we — did a lot of things right in that relationship too: habits, feelings, and actions that I will always want to be a part of my romantic relationships going forward. Here are 15.
Keep reading »

Top 10 Breakup Songs Of 2009

No matter what stage your breakup is in, a good song helps. Whether you’re swollen from crying or red with rage, it’s comforting to know that someone else has felt the same anger, regret and pain that you’re feeling. Here are some of 2009′s best songs for drowning (out) your sorrows. Keep reading »

Discuss: Should You “Schedule” Your Breakup?

Consider, if you will, two breakups:

Bachelor #1, a summer romance, invited me on to his parents’ motor boat. It was the day after we’d slept together for the first time and I thought we were having a lovely date. But this jerk puttered into the middle of Long Island Sound, stopped the boat’s engine, and then, as the boat was rocking back and forth in the waves, dumped me. Then he puttered the boat back to the marina, deposited me on a pier, and left, presumably to get in his car and drive himself home. Shocked doesn’t even begin to describe how I felt! ‘Did he REALLY take me on a boat in the middle of Long Island Sound just to break up with me? What a psycho!’ I said to myself, as I called someone to come pick me up. Keep reading »

7 Ways To Survive A Holiday Breakup

A breakup almost always sucks, but this time of year it can be especially painful. The good news is the holidays can also serve as a wonderful distraction from your heartache — and you don’t have to worry about shelling out money for a gift (or acting delighted when he gives you socks again). Luckily, not only are there plenty of reasons to love being single at this time of year, there are lots of ways to ease your loneliness, process your feelings, and improve your mood, too. Keep reading »

Why Guys Can’t Forgive Us for Cheating (But We Can Forgive Them)

As we earn more money and work longer hours, new statistics show that more women are cheating on their husbands — but that doesn’t mean that men are as forgiving about affairs as we can be.

According to a 2001 survey, about 15 percent of men admit to cheating on their wives or girlfriends, and women were not far behind with a 10-percent cheat rate.

But here’s one thing that hasn’t changed — women are willing to forgive their husbands for infidelity, and men aren’t. A recent study found that men were significantly more likely to end a marriage based on spousal infidelity than women. Read more Keep reading »

What’s More Important To You: Shoes Or Dudes?

What’s more important to you: your shoe collection or your dude collection? Survey says … shoes! A new study proves that Carrie Bradshaw was right to worship her Manolos because shoes are way more important to us ladies than men are. The shocking stats say that 92 percent of women remember the first pair of shoes they purchased with their own money while only 63 percent remember the name of the first dude they kissed. And even more insulting for the gentlemen … 96 percent of women regret throwing out a pair of shoes while just 15 percent feel sorry for dumping a boyfriend. I must be in the slim minority here, because I have no recollection of my first pair of shoes but I could never forget my first kiss with Jeremy. Dreamy.

And PS: Of course we don’t regret dumping a bad news dude. Good riddance. Maybe I’ve just never owned the right pair of shoes or something, but this study seems insulting to me. How about you? Are shoes really more important to you than men? [Daily Mail] Keep reading »