If anyone ever figured out how to bottle the ability to achieve closure after a relationship ends, they would be rich and famous. As someone who has stumbled in finding closure a few times in my life, all I can say for sure is how it feels. It feels peaceful; it feels freeing, like taking a rock out of your shoe. It is the moment a chapter in the book of your life has been written, read, reread, and filed away for posterity. No matter what the situation, closure is a feeling that comes from within. Sometimes you have the other person there to debrief with and that can be helpful, like when I met up with an ex-boyfriend to compare notes on our relationship. It was an incredibly therapeutic experience that helped me close the door on the relationship once and for all. But let’s be honest, it hardly ever happens like that … Keep reading »
After two decades of service, the six-foot-high, 10-foot-wide mirror covering our living room wall started falling down on Thanksgiving Day. It came with the house, a colonial in Whitestone, Queens, which my parents bought when I was born. I was 23 and about to drive to LaGuardia Airport to pick up Tim, my soldier boyfriend of two years. He was spending the holiday with me after being stationed at Fort Benning, Georgia, for the past three months.
I was in my attic bedroom putting on my “Welcome Home” outfit — black stockings, boots, a checkered skirt, and a fitted black sweater — when I heard Mom scream. I took the steps two at a time to find her and my 18-year-old brother holding the mirror up, their four hands, strained faces, and bodies looking longer in their slanted reflections. Keep reading »
A broken heart sucks. Even those of us with the strongest of wills have at some point learned that getting over somebody can be a painful and arduous process. So the notion of a definitive guide for achieving a clear mind and healthy heart after a failed relationship or rejection by the opposite sex might seem absurd.
The goal of this piece is to show how life does not end with rejection at a bar, a note left on a pillow, or coming home from work to an empty apartment. Combining a few bits of advice from friends and my own life experiences, I think I am able to provide a dependable resource you can refer to the next time a man or woman decides you and your genitals are inadequate. So without further ado, let’s start the healing process … together. Keep reading »