Tag Archives: breaking up

Cash & Coupling: How To Make A Divorce Suck Less Financially

Last time in Cash & Coupling, we covered how to go into a marriage making financial choices that would benefit you in the event of a future divorce. But what about after disaster strikes and the marriage is over? (I know, we’re thinking real positive around these parts.) Here are five tips designed to help new divorcees keep as much of their finances intact as possible as they bid their husbands adieu. Keep reading »

8 Ways To Get Closure When A Relationship Ends

8 Ways To Get Closure

If anyone ever figured out how to bottle the ability to achieve closure after a relationship ends, they would be rich and famous. As someone who has stumbled in finding closure a few times in my life, all I can say for sure is how it feels. It feels peaceful; it feels freeing, like taking a rock out of your shoe. It is the moment a chapter in the book of your life has been written, read, reread, and filed away for posterity. No matter what the situation, closure is a feeling that comes from within. Sometimes you have the other person there to debrief with and that can be helpful, like when I met up with an ex-boyfriend to compare notes on our relationship. It was an incredibly therapeutic experience that helped me close the door on the relationship once and for all. But let’s be honest, it hardly ever happens like that … Keep reading »

Dear Wendy: “My Boyfriend Repulses Me”

When I asked my current boyfriend out, I was very clear to explain that I wanted something casual and certainly not monogamous. But somehow, he now thinks that we are a monogamous couple and is planning our future together. He keeps planning for events I don’t want to attend and talking as if we will always be together. He has become repulsive to me and I no longer feel that I want to be in a sexual/close emotional relationship with him but at the same time want to keep him as a friend. With that said, I am currently looking to pursue others outside of my boyfriend, more specifically someone of the same gender. Another complicating factor is that he and I volunteer for the same organization and within the same department, which means I need things to go amicably whether it be a relationship restructure or moving on. How do I get him to understand that we both feel differently about this relationship and its future and do so in a way that will not make it uncomfortable to work together in our volunteer work? Should this be the end? Is moving back to friends a possibility? — Romantically Doomed and Challenged

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Girl Talk: A Shattering Thanksgiving

After two decades of service, the six-foot-high, 10-foot-wide mirror covering our living room wall started falling down on Thanksgiving Day. It came with the house, a colonial in Whitestone, Queens, which my parents bought when I was born. I was 23 and about to drive to LaGuardia Airport to pick up Tim, my soldier boyfriend of two years. He was spending the holiday with me after being stationed at Fort Benning, Georgia, for the past three months.

I was in my attic bedroom putting on my “Welcome Home” outfit — black stockings, boots, a checkered skirt, and a fitted black sweater — when I heard Mom scream. I took the steps two at a time to find her and my 18-year-old brother holding the mirror up, their four hands, strained faces, and bodies looking longer in their slanted reflections. Keep reading »

Ask The Astrosexologist: “Will My Virgo Ex Ever Want Me Back Or Should I Move On?”

My Virgo ex-boyfriend and I dated for over a year and a half. We met in high school, when he was a senior and I was a junior. He left for college, but we wanted to stay together, so we tried a long-distance relationship. For the majority of that year, everything worked out well … but then he changed. A lot. He chopped off all his hair and became the epitome of a “frat boy” even though he never joined one. I tried to suppress my feelings, thinking that it was just freshman year experiences and I couldn’t say anything because when I went to college I’d probably change too. As far as I know, he never cheated, but he did become increasingly distant.

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Dear Wendy: “My Ex Hit Me And Now He Wants Me Back”

I started a long-distance (1,500 miles apart) relationship with a wonderful man in August of last year. Things were going great, but suddenly took a turn for the worse in January when he was diagnosed with cancer. I was able to take two semesters off from school to go be his caregiver. We continued to build our relationship and he constantly expressed his gratitude for my being there. Unfortunately, about a month into his treatment, he started to become verbally abusive, and began to pick fights. Months went by, and threats of hitting me turned into actually hitting me, on two occasions. I reached out to his family and friends for support, but he told them I was a crazy liar. I begged him to see a therapist, or to talk to his doctor about the medications and steroids he was on, but he refused. When he was done his last round of chemo and in remission, I ended the relationship, packed my bags and went home. We have stayed in contact, and he surprised me last weekend by driving out to visit me. He spent a few days at my apartment, and was once again the man I fell in love with. He told me that he’d told his family about the abuse, that he loved me, and that he wants to get back together. My friends think I should cut all contact with him, and that he lost his chance to be with me once he hit me. I think his behavior was caused by the drugs and steroids he was on, so my decision isn’t easy. Is it really as cut-and-dry as my friends think, or can I give him a second chance? — Abused Caregiver

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