Two years into our relationship, Rick* received a verbal offer that would send him 2,500 miles away.
I couldn’t fathom how we could possibly have a successful relationship living such a great distance apart — even though I was the woman who’d urged him to apply for the job. He had asked me months before the job was even a possibility how I would feel about him splitting his time between San Francisco and Brooklyn. I uttered something along the lines, “I’m okay with that — as long as I don’t have to move.” But, once becoming long-distance became a reality, I suddenly felt abandoned. Instead of, “I’m happy for you,” our talks generally ended with me stating, “I don’t see this relationship lasting beyond December.”
I said it more than once.
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One is the loneliest number, worse than two …
Well, unless he was an asshat. In which case being a Party of One is just fine, thank you. Of course, before you can move onwards and upwards, you have to get your stuff back — whether it’s just a few pairs of dirty panties in his laundry basket or the contents of an entire “girlfriend drawer.” He’s not going to haggle over your cotton thongs (unless he’s a creep, instead of an asshat). But what about the stuff you accumulated together during the relationship?
Here’s how to make sense of who owns what following a breakup, after the jump … Keep reading »
I don’t know how many times I’ve heard “don’t date a guy who’s just broken up with someone.” No one wants to be the rebound girl. Not only is it hard on YOU, it can be just as hard on him, as he’s trying to heal from his breakup.
But sometimes, you find yourself breaking the rules, liking a guy who has just split up with his last partner, and you go with it. It feels right. So you do it. Sometimes? It works out just fine — the relationship between your partner and his ex was long over and the breakup was an inevitability.
Other times, he clearly hasn’t moved on. Here are some obvious and not-so-obvious signs that he’s not quite over his ex. Read more…
Heartbreak lingers like a hangover. You wake up but don’t want to move, and your head is spinning. Sometimes you need the greasiest pizza down the street has to offer, and sometimes you *can’t eat at all. The only thing that sounds appealing is crawling into a dark cave away from anything (which is everything) that reminds you how shitty you feel. We get it. And we’ve all been that melodramatic. The only real cure for heartbreak is time, but there are definitely ways to spend that time to expedite the process and numb the symptoms. Read more…
It is better to be single than badly accompanied: that is a truism of relationships that I’ve often reminded myself when the time came for a difficult breakup conversation. As we all know, time and distance can have blurring effects. You forget about the times he yelled at you in public or the snotty tone of voice he used when he talked down to you. You remember the cuddles and the kisses as if they were all you did, every time, even when you know this is not the whole story.
On Valentine’s Day — the day that is supposed to be about celebrating love and romance — it seems fitting to remember the guys who we are happy aren’t in our lives:
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Taking a break is one of the most challenging, frustrating, and saddening parts of a relationship. No one wants to feel as though their relationship has failed or that they themselves have somehow failed. But sometimes, a break is necessary. Not only is it necessary, sometimes, it’s a good thing. Here are eight signs that it’s time to take a break from your current relationship.
1. You don’t talk anymore. Do you spend time talking — really talking — with your partner, or do you resort to talking about the weather (or other trivial stuff) only? When you’ve stopped really communicating, it’s time to take a break. Read more…