Tag Archives: books

I’m Sorry, I Refuse To Drink A Semen Cocktail

Semen Squirt Gun
This man used a semen-filled squirt gun as a weapon. Read More »
Semen 101
semen photo
Everything you need to know about man's precious nectar. Read More »
Semen In Yogurt
Did this woman's yogurt test positive for semen? Find out! Read More »
Squid Sperm
When your dinner tries to impregnate your mouth. Read More »

I can endorse sperm as a cure for morning sickness or even as a natural mood booster, but, I’m sorry, I refuse to drink a semen cocktail. We all have to draw the line somewhere and this where I draw mine. I refuse to walk into a bar and order a “Galliano Cum Shot” or a “Slightly Saltier Caviar.”

In the new book Semenology: The Semen Bartender’s Handbook, Paul “Fotie” Photoenhauer, who also wrote Natural Harvest: Collection of Semen Based Recipes, teaches us how to mix selected spirits to enhance the delicate flavors of semen. To quote the Amazon book description:

“Driven by a commitment and passion for the freshly harvested ingredient, Semenology pushes the limits of classic bartending. Semen is often freshly available behind most bar counters and adds a personal touch to any cocktail.”

Since when is semen freshly available behind most bar counters? Never mind. I don’t want to know. This better not become the new mixology trend.[Huffington Post]

Why Feminism Must Be About More Than Careerism, “Leaning In,” And The Glass Ceiling

There’s been a lot of discussion as of late about Sheryl Sandberg‘s bourgeois and somewhat apolitical version of feminism, Lean In. It seems like everywhere I look, the feminist discourse has been taken over by discussions of the ways in which women hold themselves back at work, how we need more women at the top, why Yahoo CEO Marissa Mayer won’t call herself a feminist, etc. As a feminist with some serious socialist leanings, I am mildly annoyed by this, but I’m also kind of happy, because it gives me a chance to discuss how and why feminism must go beyond talking about how the most privileged women should be allowed to self-actualize at the highest levels possible, to the issues that concern that vast majority of the female workforce.

As I see it, there are really two issues here: 1.) “Lean In” feminism isn’t feminism in any traditional sense of the word, and 2.) even if we do decide to think collectively (and hence politically) re: women in the workplace, that’s not going nearly far enough. Read more at The Gloss…

Frisky Q&A: Kelly Oxford Talks About Her Hilarious New Memoir, Going From Stay-At-Home Mom To Breadwinner & Meeting David Copperfield’s Mermaid

Kelly Oxford's Book!
Our review of "Everything Is Perfect When You're A Liar." Read More »

Full disclosure: I am more than a little obsessed with Kelly Oxford. The Canadian blogger turned Twitter celeb turned screenwriter just released her first book, the memoir Everything Is Perfect When You’re A Liar, and it’s seriously one of the funniest books I’ve ever read. I have to stop myself from retweeting every single one of her deadpan missives on Twitter. Her husband James looks like bearded Jon Hamm and her three children — Salinger, 11; Henry, 8; and Bea, 4 — are adorable. She owns the Isabel Marant wedge sneakers that I want but can’t afford. So when I got the opportunity to talk to Kelly about her book and her other upcoming projects, naturally I kept her on the phone for as long as possible. After the jump, Kelly talks about the process of writing all of the essays in Everything Is Perfect When You’re A Liar; the differences between Canadians and Americans; what it’s like to have switched roles with her husband so she’s now the “breadwinner” after 10 years of being a stay-at-home mom; what pal David Copperfield — yes, the magician — has hidden on his private island; and which celeb she totally could have dated at 17. Keep reading »

The Funniest Memoir You’ll Read This Year

Twitter Must Follows
Our list of the 26 ladies to read and follow on Twitter. Read More »
Why Funny Women Rule
Mind of Man
John DeVore on why funny women are a natural resource. Read More »

Chances are, if you spend any time on Twitter, you know who Kelly Oxford is. The Canadian-born mom of three has amassed over 450,000 followers thanks to her hilarious and dry-witted one liners about everything from notorious celebrities like Chris Brown (“Leave it to fucking Chris Brown to make a dance song out of police sirens”) and dead rockstars (“One thing Kurt Cobain would have loved is trending on Twitter on his birthday”), to random life moments (“Almost passed out from trying to blow a 3″ long pube off a toilet seat so no one in this restaurant would think it was mine”), marriage (“Marriage: Waking up to the best news stories being emailed to you from your husband in the bathroom”) and motherhood (“How do you get a red wine stain off a baby?”). She counts Jimmy Kimmel, Roger Ebert, Jessica Alba and David Copperfield among her biggest fans, but, as her new memoir, Everything Is Perfect When You’re A Liar, makes clear, fame hasn’t gone to Oxford’s head. Keep reading »

The Only Sloth Book You Need

Kristen Loves Sloths
Kristen Bell freaks out over a sloth on "Ellen." Read More »
The Sloths are Coming
Don't worry, they move really slowly. Watch »
Sloths a-Swimming
And they take dips in the pool, too. Watch »
Baby Sloth Onesie
You need to see this baby sloth in a onesie. Watch »

Grumpy Cat is an intergalactic superstar for his sour little pussycat face. But some of us prefer animals with a bit of whimsy and happiness, like …  sloths! In her coffee table book, A Little Book Of Sloth, author Lucy Cooke pens an ode to the humble sloth, complete with pictures taken at a sloth sanctuary in Costa Rica. Whether they’re slowly dragging themselves off to do something adorable, munching on a leaf, or snuggling a stuffed animal like their life depends on it, these little critters will put a smile on your face. Don’t just take my word for it — ask Kristen Bell!  [$16.99, ModCloth]

Shailene Woodley Cast As Hazel In “The Fault In Our Stars”

YA Novel Life Lessons
What can we learn from "Sweet Valley High" and "The BSC"? Read More »
5 Suggested Storylines
... for "Anne of Green Gables" and its new sexy cover. Read More »
"The Bell Jar" Covers
In order of adorable to depressing. Read More »
  • It’s official: Shailene Woodley will be playing Hazel is the big screen version of John Green’s The Fault In Our Stars. Yay! I approve! And you must go find a copy of The Fault In Our Stars and read it. It’s the best book I read in 2012, hands down. [Entertainment Weekly]
  • MTV is marathoning old seasons of “The Real World” this weekend. Do you remember a time before anyone knew what a Snooki was? [NYMag.com]
  • You know you want to see a picture of 10-year-old Kate Middleton dressed as a bridesmaid. She’s got baby bangs! [The Sun UK]
  • Keyshia Cole is throwing shade at Beyoncé on Twitter over Bey’s new song, “Bow Down,” tweeting “First ‘women need to stick together’ now bitches better bow. Smh.” Hey, it’s a good point. [Clutch Magazine]
  • Michael Cera rides the subway, looks like a normal person. [Gothamist]

Keep reading »

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