“You’re doing what?”
I heard that a lot in the spring of 2007, whenever I explained to friends that I had broken up with my Nathan, boyfriend of four years, yet we were still living together in the apartment we’d shared for the last two. It was a temporary matter, I’d say, a situation that would last about a month or two, until we found our own places. Keep reading »
Women, take note: when the appearance of men’s toenails suggest that we are either vying for a Guinness World Record — or preparing for an underground cage fighting match — feel free to mention that they’ve gotten a tad long. We don’t mind. Keep reading »
Over the years, I’ve admitted to a lot of embarrassing things. I told you, dear reader, that I work for a ladies magazine, I have been known to have my back waxed and that I use Facebook responsibly (using anything responsibly is a buzz-kill for a crazy mo-fo like me). But the most embarrassing thing I could think to write about today is that I enjoy being on the inside of a spoon and I’m a dude. Keep reading »
Here are the things I know for sure: I sleep better with socks on; I prefer Dutch chocolate to Swiss; I look lousy in black and will always wear it anyway; and I will never, ever live with a man again. Keep reading »
A few weekends ago, my girlfriends and I decided to have a drink night. For most girl crews, drink night usually starts out with a few friendly cocktails and pointless compliments on each other’s outfits (the question, “oh my god where did you get that?” is a surefire sign that you need a few more drinks in you to make the night more interesting). Soon enough those friendly cocktails ended up being more than a few harshly honest pitchers as we started to commence into the dirty ritual every woman has been guilty of enjoying: talking crap about other girls. From “she’s way too tubby to be wearing that,” to, “he’s way too hot to be doing her,” we ranted on and on as if we were Perez on The View. We were cruising No Mercy Street. Eventually we started to soften up as we got onto the subject of our good friend Jesse, who had broken up with her more-than-perfect boyfriend Jeremy. It had turned out that Mr. Perfect had been cheating on her for six months with his hometown friend. Keep reading »
“V-Day.” Sounds more like an invasion of Normandy than a day spent celebrating love and romance. And rightfully so. Sometimes the intricacies of preparing for the holiday resemble war-room strategy more than jubilation. Sure, you’re armed with flowers and chocolates instead of a rifle and grenades, but there is a common dread, with the tips of those big red hearts hanging like so many swords of Damocles.
Keep reading »
Sometime when I wasn’t looking, Valentine’s Day metamorphosed from a C-list kids’ holiday, with pink and red candy and construction-paper hearts, into an extravaganza. The regular-person equivalent of Oscar Night, but instead of Best Picture or Best Supporting Actress, prizes are given for Best Achievement in the Acquisition of a Leading Man.
But what if you don’t have a new pet “project” to promote or arm candy to show off? Better stay home rather than remind everyone that you couldn’t land the role of girlfriend, even for one night. Cause being single is cause for as much mortification as a bad dress on the red carpet. Keep reading »
When you hear the word “detox” all sorts of things come to mind: spas, juice fasts, colonics, rehab centers. People enter detoxification programs to rid their bodies of toxins, lose a little weight, maybe look and feel better about the damage they’ve done to their bodies. Detoxifications are done when you eat too many chips, drink too many drinks, do too many drugs. But how do you detoxify from poor love decisions? Is there a Promises out there for people who have had one toxic relationship after another? How do you take the damage done from too many bad relationships to enable a fresh start? Keep reading »
I’m single, 40, and have dated more than any good man should. Add to that the fact that I love women, I love seducing, and my ego is clearly invested in the power it gives me, and something tells me I’m not the man you’d think would advocate devotion and fidelity. But the truth is, I’m a closet monogamist. It doesn’t come easily, it might not even come naturally, but at the end of the day, I think monogamy is a majesty worth fighting for. Many of the reasons are obvious—the comfort, having a good-guy reputation, the regular and maybe even condom-free sex — but there are some that might surprise you. Keep reading »
Facebook, like nuclear technology, is a tool that can be used for good as well as evil. And there are clearly some people who lack the ability (or desire) to use either responsibly. One of my all-time favorite Facebook stories involved a recent college graduate backtracking it to the old Alma Mater (it wasn’t Tucker Max) on a recruiting trip. He went to a neighborhood watering hole, flashed some of that first-year cash and, later, worked on his night moves with a fine, young coed. Unfortunately, he knew she was going to Facebook (it’s a verb now) him and he still had a few days in College Town, USA. So, he did the prudent thing and changed his status to Single. He and his old old girl were on the rocks and he thought he’d enjoy the rest of the trip. This was how now ex-girlfriend found out. She was dumped by Facebook. And because this is neither Vietnam nor the Wild West, we decided to implement some rules of etiquette for Mark Zuckerberg’s handiwork. After the jump, the top 10 rules of etiquette for using Facebook responsibly in and around relationships. Keep reading »