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Top 10 Sexiest Scenes Of 2009

2009 was darn sexy, what with all the vampire, werewolf, and plain, old regular-people lust. So which sex scenes kept us on the edge of our seats? Here, our favorite sexy on-screen moments of 2009.
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Jewish Girl Seeks “Goyfriend” for Christmas

Up until I was six years old, my family celebrated Christmas. Although both of my parents are Jewish, our family was not particularly religious. They just thought Christmas was a fun holiday for kids. I still fondly remember my Miss Piggy star ornament sparkling atop the tree. Ahh, memories. Keep reading »

Husband Injects Wife With HIV To Get Laid

Of all the crazy schemes men use to get laid, this one has got to rank at the most vile. That’s both saying a lot and putting this catastrophe mildly.

According to a report at The Huffington Post, a 35-year-old HIV-positive man in New Zealand injected his sleeping HIV-negative wife with the virus so she’d pony up and have sex with him. Keep reading »

Sorry, He’s Tired Of Having Sex With You

I’ve learned a few things about love in my time here on Earth, and one of them is that relationships built on sex usually don’t last. First, no matter how cool she is, no matter how good-looking she is and no matter how much you dig her, there is someone out there who is sick of her. (This probably applies to guys as well.) Second, there is a very good chance that when a guy begins drifting away from a lady, he’s just sick of boning her. (Again, it’s possible that ladies stray for the same reason, but being a guy, I really can’t be sure.) Keep reading »

I’m Always The First To Say “I Love You”

Our homeys at Asylum recently referenced a study revealing it takes the average guy seven months to say the three magic words: “Let’s eat acid.” Kidding, it’s “I love you,” of course, and the average woman takes eight months to say the same phrase. Keep reading »

10 Items Of His We’d Like To Toss

Recently, the girlfriend of men’s nightmares took a golf club to her boyfriend’s Xbox 360, simply because he wasn’t showing her enough attention. A small (OK, a large) part of us gave a mental fist pump. After all, we know what it’s like to be overshadowed by our man’s favorite toys. The other part of us wanted to tell this guy to get a restraining order. Still, it’s fun to daydream about what we’d demolish, if only we weren’t afraid of incurring psycho status. And so, here are the top 10 items of his we wish we could toss out the window:
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Gifts For Every Type Of Guy

When we say “it’s the thought that counts,” the “thought” implies more than just remembering to buy any gift at all. Let’s admit that as much as we love our guys and say we’ll value any gifts they get us, there’s a little disappointment when the pretty package under the tree actually contains a scarf or gift card. Same goes for him, instead of a generic tie, lead by example and buy a gift that actually suits him. Keep reading »

Diary Of A Disabled Woman Seeking Love

I was a horrible liar, and we both knew it, but I had no choice. There was no possible way I could tell him that when I reached into his coat pocket and took his hand—to this day the only bold, romantic gesture I have ever made—it was because I thought he wanted me to.

“You’re just doing that as a friend, right?” He asked, sheepishly.

“Yeah. It, uh, helps with balancing.” Keep reading »

4 Tips For A Holiday Fling

The holidays are right around the corner, and if egg nog, stuffing and Bing Crosby’s “White Christmas” do mysterious things to your libido—fear not. We suffer from the Holiday Friskies, too. We feel your sexually frustrated pain. Whether your parents’ guest bedroom has you aching for another’s or a holiday getaway is in order, there’s nothing like a few guilt-free days off to initiate a bold try with what’s-his-name from high school or that-one-over-there at the resort bar (if you’re fancy). Regardless, the holidays are a perfect time for a no-strings-attached fling. Here are a few ways to make it run exceptionally smooth.
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When Snooping Gets Out Of Control

He’s done it before: left me alone in his apartment. But I haven’t done this—until now. It’s not as if these boxes haven’t always been filled with photographs; it’s not as if these leather notebooks weren’t always filled with his handwriting; it’s not as if the evidence hasn’t been lying around, out in the open, just begging for a little attention. But today the itch to explore is a little too itchy, and I guess our love is a little too, uh, lovely—so I’m not even waiting for him to leave. Keep reading »

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