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The Problem With Keeping Score In A Relationship

Keeping score is a behavior that will quickly unravel a relationship. It begins innocently enough, but it ends with huge fights, lots of resentment and plenty of hostility.

People who keep score often begin this behavior as a way to teach the other partner a lesson. Hurt within the relationship is never just hurt; it turns into wanting to hurt someone else so he/she will suffer and know what it feels like. The problem with that is that we are all sensitive to different things, and what hurts one person looks childish or punitive to another.

Most of the people who do this were raised by parents who kept score. It is an immature coping mechanism of dealing with anger, but, like the silent treatment, it ends up destroying both partners’ feelings of connection and trust. Read more…

7 Ways We’re All Bridget Jones

Attention, Bridget Jones fans: We are v. excited that a new installment of our favorite awkward heroine is in the works! Helen Fielding has written another chapter in the life of the quirky Brit, and the book is scheduled for an autumn 2013 release.

For the uninitiated, Bridget Jones Diary — the tale of a desperate yet endearing everywoman and her clumsy and often hilarious pursuit of true love (or at least a good date) — debuted in 1996 and quickly became and international bestseller and cultural phenom. Two movies followed, with Renee Zellweger as our quirky protagonist, and single 30-something women everywhere found a fumbling heroine they could finally relate too. It was in Bridget’s constantly adorable flaws — namely her fixation on her body image, awkward approach to dating and penchant for wallowing in her misery (who can forget her onscreen rendition of “All By Myself”?) that we wach saw a bit of ourselves. We are all Bridget Jones to some degree — whether that makes us uncomfortable or not. Here are a few examples…

Give Good Sext: 7 Things To Know Before You Text Him

No matter how old you are, chances are you’ve engaged in one of the latest texting trends: sexting. Sexting is sending a somewhat naughty text to someone in hopes of revving up their engine, if you will. Whether flirting with the new guy in your life or wanting to heat things up in your long-term relationship, a strategic sext is a great way to lure your crush or partner in. It’s also a great way to initiate dirty talk into your repertoire if the idea of saying the words in person make you somewhat nervous.

By following these tips below, you’ll be geared up to give good sext in no time.

1. Don’t use abbrevs. Part of the reason why sexting is so hot is because when you read a sext, it’s as if the sender is talking dirty to you. This is why, when sexting, it’s important to use full words and speak verbatim. In the middle of a sac-sesh, you would never use abbreviations to talk to dirty, so don’t use them in a sext to cut back letters. It takes away from the whole point of sexting. Oh, and it also makes you look lazy, and if someone wants to bed you, they would rather know you will go the extra mile. Rule of thumb: Type it just as you would say it. Read more…

David Petraeus Affair: Do Some Careers Make Us Likely To Cheat?

t was quite the week: a massive hurricane hit the East Coast, a fierce election came to an end and now this: America’s sweetheart CIA director, General David Petraeus, resigns for “personal reasons,” (ahem, cheating on his wife).

Petraeus is known in this country as a hero. As the director of the CIA, Petraeus has been our go-to guy for handling terrorism, our military and global threats. But after an F.B.I. investigation stumbled upon his extramarital affair via his computer, our nation’s superman was encouraged to step down just two days after the president’s reelection. Read more…

5 Ways Sex Makes Us Smarter

Here’s one major reason I studied communications as an undergraduate and not the sciences: Research seems to always contradict itself.

Of course, the fact that I find science impossibly difficulty is at the top of the list, but still. It seems just yesterday I was reading that just the sight of a sexy woman can make even the brightest man lose 50 IQ points. Today, however, I’m reporting that sex can actually make you smarter.

Yes, researchers at the University of Amsterdam are all about the benefits of a little bit of bump and grind. Sure, a pair of big boobs may make a man forget his name, but maybe the art of doing it is actually a cure?

Here are five ways sex can boost your spirits — and your brain cells. Read more…

Only 1 In 6 Cuddle Sessions Lead To Sex

Horndogs looking for a quick cuddle-and-run, listen up. A new study from really smart scientists has found that the chances of a cuddle session leading to sex are only one in six.

Researchers at the University of Michigan looked at the methods, motivations and eventual outcomes of the average couple’s cuddling sessions, and the results show it usually only leads to conversation, not copulation.

Over 500 men and women in relationships were asked about the nature of their cuddling, defined as “intimate, physical and loving contact that does not involve sexual behavior and that involves some degree of whole body touching, not just hand to hand or lips to lips.” Read more…
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