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Missing Toddler Found Inside Claw Crane Toy Machine At Bowling Alley

Missing Toddler Found In Claw Toy Machine

When a mom in Lincoln, Nebraska, realized her three-year-old son was missing from their apartment, she called the police, and a frantic search of the neighborhood ensued. Meanwhile, at a bowling alley down the street, employees were doing a double take at a shockingly realistic stuffed toddler toy that had suddenly appeared in their claw crane machine. But wait a second…upon closer inspection, they realized that stuffed toddler toy was actually a living, breathing child that had somehow climbed into the machine and gotten stuck. The bowling alley employees flagged down the cops, who connected the dots, removed the kid from the machine, and returned him to his grateful (and very confused) mother. No one is sure how he managed to get into the machine, although we can only assume he was returning for a toy that had fallen out of the crane claw moments before it made it to the prize chute, which he felt was rightfully his (those machines are so annoying). If so, his plan worked: the bowling alley owner let the toddler take home the stuffed animal of his choice for his trouble. [Crimefeed]

Life Dream Status: Hogwarts Courses Are Now Available Online

Good news for modern witches and wizards who don’t have time to pursue a traditional magic education: Hogwarts School of Witchcraft & Wizardry now offers an online option. The tech-savvy training program, called Hogwarts Is Here, was dreamed up by a group of enthusiastic Harry Potter fans who wanted to give people the experience of Hogwarts (without the need to ram yourself repeatedly into the brick wall at Platform 9 & 3/4). Here’s the lowdown from the site: Keep reading »

What’s Your Hipster Hobby? (Mine Is Making Foraged Mustache Necklaces)

Hipsters As Jackie
Jackie Roseanne
Our other favorite Tumblr: Hipsters Who Dress Like Jackie From Roseanne. Read More »
Country for Hipsters
country music hipster
How to get your hipster friends to listen to country. Read More »
The Hipster Hobby Generator

Looking for new ways to use your copious amounts of free time? Getting a little tired of your kickball league and microbrew tasting club? Not to worry — cartoonist Dana Zemack has created The Hipster Hobby Generator to help you discover your new favorite pastime. All you have to do is click on the quirky label of the hand-blown mason jar, and the site will assign you a new, hipster-approved creative endeavor. So far my hobbies include thrift store quilting, making foraged mustache necklaces, assembling an “heirloom maple syrup collection inspired by the Infinite Jest Wikipedia page,” and aging bacon bow ties in vintage style oak barrels from Anthropologie. Sounds about right. Check out The Hipster Hobby Generator to get your own, and post it in the comments!

Travel Porn: The Northern Lights Over Iceland

Northern Lights Over Iceland
I want to go to there. Now.

My current life/travel obsession is seeing the northern lights. I’ve been gleefully researching where and when I’d have the best chance of seeing them, and although Alaska, Sweden, and Norway all sound amazing, this time lapse video of the northern lights over Iceland this past winter might have just made my decision for me. It’s almost painfully beautiful. [Laughing Squid]

US Airways Twitter Account Shows Complaining Customer Exactly Where To Stick It (NSFW)

US Airways Tweeted A Photo Of A Woman With A Toy Airplane In Her Vagina

Well, this is one way to approach online customer service. Earlier today, a US Airways customer tweeted a complaint about a flight delay to the company’s official Twitter account. US Airways sent back a fairly standard response (90% of airline Twitter feeds are canned apologies tweeted at irate customers), but when the customer wasn’t satisfied, whoever is was running US Airway’s Twitter account got a little more…umm…creative. “We welcome your feedback,” they replied, and directed the customer to a link where they could file a formal complaint. Except the link didn’t lead to a customer feedback website, it led to a picture of a naked woman with a large model plane stuck in her vagina. For serious. The craziest part? US Airways left the tweet and image up for a FULL HOUR before removing it and posting this apology.

See the full image after the jump, but beware: it is VERY NSFW and will make your vagina sore just looking at it… Keep reading »

10 Things I’ve Learned From 10 Years In A Relationship

10 Things I've Learned From 10 Years In A Relationship

Today is Nick and my 10-year anniversary. TEN YEARS. A decade. One-twentieth of a lifetime if we both live to be 200, which we plan to. I’m not usually super sentimental about anniversaries, if only because I’m like a doofy sitcom husband when it comes to remembering exact dates, but I couldn’t help but get a little reflective and nostalgic last night when I was thinking back on all we’ve been through and all the fun we’ve had. Here are 10 things I’ve learned — about relationships, life, and myself — in the past 10 years. Keep reading »

New Louis Vuitton Ads Showcase Michelle Williams’ Flawless Brows And Ability To Wear Any Lip Color

I’ve had last fall’s Louis Vuitton ads starring Michelle Williams pinned on my eyebrow vision board for months now (What? You don’t have a vision board dedicated to achieving your ideal brows?). I’m beyond thrilled that she’s been tapped as the face of the brand’s spring accessories campaign, if only because it gives me some fresh brow inspiration. The new images do not disappoint, showcasing Michelle (and her brows) cavorting with luxe Vuitton purses and luggage, rocking a variety of coordinated lipstick and nail polish shades. Predictably, she looks amazing in every color. Click through for a sneak peek of the ads you’ll see in all the spring fashion mags!

Etsy Spotlight: Cute Pencils For Virgins Who Can’t Drive

It’s been forever since I actually used a pencil (do I still remember how? Kidding! Kind of!), but after seeing this awesome set of hot pink “Clueless”-themed pencils, I’m ready to bring graphite back into my life in a big way. I actually used to have one of those feather pens that Cher uses in the movie (I used it to take my history tests in junior high), but these are way better. They’ll go perfectly with my plaid mini skirt, knee-highs, and the loqued out Jeep daddy bought me. [$8 for set of 6, The Carbon Crusader]

These Popsicle Stick Jokes Are Really Depressing

Depressing Popsicle Stick Jokes

Portland advertising mavens Jason Kreher and Matt Moore wanted to explore the dark subjects that make people laugh, and more specifically, “take something innocent and make it profane.” What better way to do that than replacing the usual corny one-liners printed on popsicle sticks with some seriously dark jokes? Their finished product is called SchadenFreezers, melting popsicle joke GIFs described as “strawberry, blueberry and lemon-flavored joy derived from the suffering of others.” After the jump, check out a few more SchadenFreezers. The ones that I could post without crying, anyway… Keep reading »

Painfully Accurate: 5 “Fun” New Ways To Walk In Heels

5 Fun New Ways To Walk In Heels
Because Graceful Is So Last Year.

Do you struggle to walk in high heels? Do you teeter around uncomfortably? Wince noticeably at your rapidly multiplying blisters? Curse the invention of the stiletto while simultaneously loving how sexy they make you look? Sigh. Don’t we all? You could read high heel walking tips and tutorials all day, but these guides mostly focus on walking very slowly, heel first, then toe, and wow are they not helpful. Luckily we have YouTube Goddess Akilah to give us the real lowdown on how to walk in heels. Her five walking styles include “The Jack Sparrow,” “The Yeti,” “The Rookie Model, “The Crawl,” and “The Sit.” You’ll definitely see yourself in at least a couple of these awkward movements, because as Akilah says in the video description, “heels are the most fun a girl can have when she can’t find any other shoes to wear!” [YouTube]

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