Profile for Wendy Atterberry

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http://www.citywendy.com

Dear Wendy: “Should I Lose My Virginity To The Next Guy Just To Get it Over With?”

I am nearly 20 years old, and I’ve had little experience with the opposite sex. I mean, I’ve hooked up with guys, and I’ve dated a couple of guys for a short period of time, but they ended up breaking it off after about a month. I am quite attractive and have been told so by many people so I have no problem attracting guys to me initially. It’s just keeping them interested that’s the problem. Because of this I am still a virgin. I really want to do it, but I don’t want to have sex with a guy I’ve only known a month because to me sex is something you do with someone you care about, and who cares about you. I have a lot of ideas of why I can’t keep a relationship. I’m pretty insecure (I was bullied a lot when I was younger, and abandoned by friends). I also don’t play hard to get with guys, and I probably spend too much time with them while I’m dating them. I feel like the guys who come after me, come after me mainly for my looks, and then when they get to know me a bit, they suddenly lose interest. They say that I’m a “great girl,” but they are “too busy.” If I were so great, wouldn’t they make time for me? I’m honestly considering just having sex with a guy within the first few weeks before he decides to dump me so at least I’m not a virgin forever. I think that increasing my confidence and not needing the next guy who comes along might help, but what if it doesn’t? I don’t want to end up alone. — Tired of Being a Virgin

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Dear Wendy Updates: “Friendless In High School” Responds

It’s time again for “Dear Wendy Updates,” a feature where people I’ve given advice to in the past let us know whether they followed the advice and how they’re doing today. After the jump, we hear from “Friendless in High School,” who moved to a new school two years before graduation and hadn’t made any friends other than her boyfriend. She had grown so used to having him as a safety net, she wasn’t even sure whether she’d be able to go away to college without him. “My single self would probably be really mad at me right now for considering making this decision depending on my “high school sweetheart,” but on the other hand, I’m afraid of not finding new friends again, so I would like to have some kind of safety.” After the jump, find out if she’s still as lonely as she was when she wrote in and whether she’s still basing her college decision on her boyfriend. Keep reading »

Dear Wendy: “My Boyfriend Grosses Me Out!”

My long-term boyfriend is a wonderful person. My only issue is that he’s a little lax about personal cleanliness. For example, last weekend he admitted that he’d had a nosebleed and cleared it out by blowing his nose in the shower. He told me this as an explanation for why I might see red flecks on the shower wall, as he’d cleaned up a bit while he was in the shower, but hadn’t gotten to everything. I got snippy/grossed out about why he’d told me this instead of just cleaning up the rest himself, but he just laughed it off before turning back to his video game and I calmed down after replacing my loofah, which had been in the line of fire. (This is gross, right? Or am I alone in this?) Another example is that I’ve been noticing for months that after he uses the bathroom at home, he barely runs the tap water — probably not long enough to use soap. I finally brought it up on our way to work today, and he explained that he only bothers with soap after #2 since he doesn’t “need” it after #1. I don’t want to start a fight over something trivial and sound like a nag, but I also don’t want to spend my days cleaning up his bodily fluids and cringing every time he touches our future children. How can I encourage him to up his standards a bit without sounding like his micromanaging ex? — Grossed Out

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Dear Wendy Updates: “Offended Bridesmaid” Responds

It’s time again for “Dear Wendy Updates,” a feature where people I’ve given advice to in the past let us know whether they followed the advice and how they’re doing today. After the jump, we hear from “Offended Bridesmaid” whose sister, the bride, chastised her for not being skinny enough to fit into her bridesmaid dress. Offended Bridesmaid explained that she was worried she might have a thyroid problem, to which her sister responded: “I know your eating habits — you just eat too much.” After the jump, find out how the two sisters are doing today. Keep reading »

Dear Wendy: “Should I Leave My Boyfriend Behind?”

Dump My BF Before College?
Dear Wendy helps a reader who is on the fence. Read More »

I am a 21-year-old college student, graduating this spring. I was recently accepted to an Ivy League institution to pursue my graduate degree, and I have never been more excited! However, I have a boyfriend of over six years, who really wants to follow me to graduate school. At first, this seemed like a great idea. I am very happy that he supports me and we have a very strong relationship. However, he does not have a lot of ambition. While I will be going for a graduate degree, he failed out of college and has not really shown any interest in going back. He is currently a cook, and would be able to get a job pretty easily if we move. He has also talked about other labor jobs or bartending. Another concern is that he has never lived anywhere but with his parents. I have been on my own for four years. I am worried that he’ll find it difficult to live away from home. On the other hand, I think it would be a great opportunity for him to move to a city where there are many more opportunities for him. Considering all of this, I am also concerned about myself. I want to be able to take advantage of this opportunity to attend an Ivy League institution to the fullest. I do love him, and I don’t want to lose him, but I am really unsure if he should come along with me, or if I should essentially leave him behind. I don’t want to have any regrets. What do you think I should do? — Off to an Ivy

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Dear Wendy Updates: “Doesn’t Use Pot Holders” Responds

Dating Good Guys
boyfriend photo
Not every woman wants to date an a-hole. Read More »
How To Be Romantic...
...without being creepy! Read More »
Dater X
dating photo
Ten things Dater X did right as a single girl. Read More »

It’s time again for “Dear Wendy Updates,” a feature where people I’ve given advice to in the past let us know whether they followed the advice and how they’re doing today. After the jump, we hear from “Doesn’t Use Pot Holders,” who wrote in because her boyfriend’s sister, whom he shared an apartment with, hated her. After the jump, find out if the sister managed to wreck the relationship and how everyone is doing today. Keep reading »

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