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10 Dumb Things About Having A Dog

They’re cute, lovable and always happy to see you. But they’re also expensive, moody, and chew all your stuff. No, not grandma! I’m talking about your dog, the most overrated pet of all time (sea monkeys come in a close second.) Sure, they make great life partners for the lonely and are perfect conversation starters for curb-side flirtation. But, honestly, how far can a relationship go when it began over a stream of steaming pet pee? Dogs do nothing but take, take, take. What do they give? Besides fleas, slobber and heartbreaking puppy dog eyes? Nothing. This is a list of 10 reasons you should leave that charming pooch at the pound where it belongs. Deal with it, PETA. Read more…

The Dumbest Olympic Moments

In its humble beginnings, the Olympic games were more like a glorified high school track and field get-together than a respected world event. And it wasn’t that unusual for some people to just walk in off the street and sign up to compete in the Olympics, pretty much in the same way you sign up for flag football. So if you thought you’d heard about some dumb Olympic moments before, read on, because these blow the others out of the water. Read more…

9 Things That’ll Make A Waiter Spit In Your Food

Nobody wants to be the customer everyone hates, but at one point or another, most of us have been. Because some part of us likes to think that when we go out to eat, they’re there to serve us and we just get to sit there and stuff our faces until we’re ready to walk away.

Well, we went to a restaurant in New York City to ask a server (who asked to remain anonymous, for obvious reasons) for a list of things that customers do that make him want to spit in their food. The server didn’t say if he’d actually ever spit in anyone’s food, but try anything on this list, and we wouldn’t hold it against him. Read more…

10 Dumb Smutty Movie Clichés That Need To Change

Humans have been drooling over pictures of nekkid people doing it for millennium. Even the ancient Egyptians created naughty hieroglyphics featuring skinny people with bird-heads doing it Sphinx-style. Once the movies were invented, dirty pictures suddenly started moving and whole new world dawned. Fast forward to right now: dirty movies have become lame, boring and uninspired.

Modern pornography is nothing but a parade of boring clichés. A perfunctory online examination of the “cinema of the erotic” confirms this truth. Smut is a proud artistic tradition and one of the pillars of human civilization. If we allow it to wallow in tired conventions and banal formulas, then we do a disservice to the generations of pioneering perverts that came before us. Here are ten smutty movie clichés — from unsexy fantasies to outdated fashion choices — that need to change in order to save the actual reason the Internet was invented. Read more…

The 8 Dumbest Reasons To Stay In A Toxic Relationship

There’s a reason why some relationships are classified as bad, and others are classified as toxic. A bad relationship is bad on Tuesday and still bad on Saturday, but a toxic relationship is bad on Tuesday and on Saturday it’s even worse. It affects you. You need to get out not just because you aren’t happy, but because forces within the relationship are actively working to make your life worse. So why don’t you leave? Well, there’s always a reason. Here are eight that just aren’t good enough. Read more…

8 Dumbest Extreme Weight Loss Methods

Losing weight isn’t easy. I mean, it’s easy to SAY you’ll “eat less and exercise” but what do you eat? Which exercises do you do? Are there any shortcuts? If not, are there at least any LONGcuts, that will definitely work? Sadly, I don’t have the answers to these questions. I’m a blogger who drank 70 ounces of chicken gravy for lunch. Yes, I’m disgustingly obese, but I get my self-esteem in other ways, like my being incredible at lovemaking, and knowing how to throw my fast-food wrappers directly into the garbage can from distances of over 20 feet. I’m getting off topic here, but the point is, I don’t have a lot of great tips on how to lose weight, but I do have a bunch of terrible ones. And they involve, among other things, the techniques in this gallery. Read on! Read more…

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