On March 17th, green-clothed revelers across America will pour into pubs to booze it up in celebration of Saint Patrick and all things Irish. But before you quaff one for the green hills of Eire and their redheaded beauties, there are a few myths, legends and conspiracies, some well-known and lesser-known, that you should know about before you party down. Read more…
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Ah, St. Patrick’s Day. There is no reason for everyone to celebrate you but everyone is more than happy to do it anyway. And there are few things in life more deeply stupid than that.
First of all, no one knows who St. Patrick is, but who cares! Let’s all just get super wasted and mumble something incoherent about the Irish! Plus, the name of the beer you’re drinking to forget your problems has an Irish-y name so go forth, young man, and celebrate a holiday about which you know nothing! Read more…
Members of the scientific community constantly conduct relationship studies in an attempt to make broad, sweeping generalizations about the ways of the heart. Never mind that every relationship is a unique snowflake covered in diamonds and wrapped up in a copy of the first appearance of Superman. People want easy answers for why that jerk won’t text back or why their conquest filed a restraining order after finding a love letter written in pig’s blood. (Plus, if there wasn’t a steady stream of relationship data, what would Cosmopolitan fill their pages with? LeAnn Rimes only has so many diet tips.)
Sure, some relationship studies have interesting things to say about our modern mating rituals. But others are so forehead-slappingly obvious, they make us wonder who decided it was a good idea to spend time and money (oftentimes A LOT of money) on something that a fourth grader in the early stages of his first crush could figure out. Let’s take a look at some of the dumbest studies conducted on sex, love, and all that good stuff. Read more…
Are these celebrities crazy or did they really see UFOs? (Okay, yes, they’re probably all crazy anyway, but that doesn’t answer the second question: could they be weirdos who happen to be spot-on about alien spacecraft?) Read more…
Let’s just say it. Valentine’s Day is dumb and everyone knows it. The problem is, that doesn’t make it any easier to avoid.
You go into the drugstore to get some gum? You’re reminded that you should be in a relationship. You want to drink champagne alone in a dark room? You’re reminded you should be doing that with a loved one. You can’t win!
The capsizing of the Costa Concordia cruise ship has shocked people all over the world, especially those who did not learn their lesson from Leonard DiCaprio dying on the Titanic. In other words, we all should have seen this coming… because despite what “reputable” news outlets would have you think, there is apparently more afoot here than just an allegedly “cowardly” captain and ineffective crew.
Here are some of the conspiracy theories surrounding the unfortunate sinking of the cruise ship the Costa Concordia. Read more…
SEX MYTH: It is possible to break a penis.
FACT: There is no actual “bone” in a “boner.”
If you believe a single one of these 15 supremely dumb sex myths, then please kindly refrain from fornicating, bumping uglies, banging, knockin’ boots, doing the horizontal dance, playing hide the salami, shagging, injecting the hot beef, doing it, sticking it in and basically anything that could remotely lead to passing on your dumb gene.
Not only are these myths completely common urban legends, but some poor, uneducated sex-haver out there is currently swearing by their validity. This person is probably hoarding all the green M&M’s, avoiding public toilets and installing five hot tubs as you read this. Read more…
Celebrity actress train wreck Lindsay Lohan recently appeared in court to have her probation progress reviewed. Having completed a grueling (I meant pathetic) 33 of 480 community service hours, Lohan wasn’t showing much effort in getting back on track.
She did however put some effort into dressing up. Striding atop what are probably (high end, expensive) Christian Louboutin high heels, she claimed she couldn’t afford to pay for the court mandated counseling right now.
Is that why you stole that necklace, LiLo? Too broke? Then don’t come to court dressed like a wealthy French woman who would probably pay $30 for a glass of wine. Lindsey…what are you going to do? Read more… Keep reading »
You know what dogs really need? A bowl of dog food that makes its own gravy. A tennis ball to slobber on. Some shots to keep the worms away. But most of all, the one thing dogs need is constant love.
You know what dogs don’t need? Everything on this list of dumb luxury items for your pooch.
Yes, all of these ridiculous bowwow baubles are real. And yes, all of these canine luxuries will be used as fodder to incite the coming revolution. Dogs are not fashion accessories, and if you’re decking Fido out in frivolous finery, then you are dumb. Also: you’re either rich or bellybutton-deep in credit card debt. But mostly dumb. Read more… Keep reading »