I am a black woman and my best friend is a gay man. He came out to me the summer between our senior year of high school and our freshman year of college.
“I really need to tell you something,” he began, while driving us home from our summer job at the local pool. I didn’t know what to expect — an admission of love, maybe? That would be awkward.
He pulled the car over, then stared deeply into my eyes and said, “I’m gay.”
I breathed a sigh of relief.
“Oh, that’s cool with me,” I replied.
He was excited that we would remain friends and was especially happy to have someone to go out and “meet boys” with. Together we frequented New York City’s gay clubs and bars, more often than the straight ones. Splash, Therapy or Barracuda, but The Ritz was a mutual favorite. It was a two-floor bar with a huge dance floor, usually jam packed with sweaty, shirtless men by 1 a.m. The environment offered us both freedoms: I could be as black as I wanted: dance to Beyonce’s “Single Ladies,” twerk it, shake it and break it (while being applauded), and he could be as gay as he wanted. Keep reading »
I have been a symbol of sex my entire life. As a black woman from a poor, single-parent household, I know the script that is written for me far too well. Black women are always more appealing as strippers or “hoes.” Before I even hit puberty, this script was shoved in my face and I was forced to memorize it.
When I was 11, I lived in a predominantly underprivileged, black neighborhood in Houston, Texas. Everyone knew each other. My mom worked nights at the local hospital, so often I was home alone with my brother, sister and an older cousin. My mom thought the high fences that surrounded our complex kept us safe from what was on the outside. Little did she know, what was on the inside tormented me daily. Keep reading »
In a recent Yahoo! Shine article, a young, white, California entrepreneur, Mindy Budgor, was deemed a “warrior princess” after ditching her posh, luxury-filled life to become the first female warrior of the African Maasai tribe. Armed with Underarmor, pearl earrings and Chanel dragon red nail polish — which made her feel “fierce”– this nice Jewish girl from Santa Barbara, who loved “manis and pedis and warm croissants,” was heralded for singlehandedly empowering the Massai women. She even wrote a memoir about her experience. As a 23-year-old black college student, similar to Ms. Budgor, I set out on my own “spiritual quest” that landed me on the Big Island of Hawaii — miles away from my New Jersey home. But my experience was far less empowering for everyone involved. Keep reading »
A new website, MissTravel.com, is offering beautiful, broke ladies access to “wealthy” dudes who are willing to pay for travel to exciting destinations. Upon signing up for the site, “beautiful” members (users decided between a “generous” or “beautiful” membership type) must provide photos for approval, which ultimately decide whether the ladies can or cannot have a profile. With an approved membership, women have access to thousands of eligible bankers, athletes, lawyers, executives and other uncategorized rich dudes who are willing to fork over travel cash in exchange for a wonderful and of course, most importantly, attractive female travel companion. Keep reading »
G-spot, in my open letter to you, I warned that if you decided to pop up, you’d better be staying for good. And here you go showing up again, trying to steal all of the attention as always, without making any real commitment to hang around.
Some dude researcher, Dr. Adam Ostrzenski, claims to have conclusively discovered your whereabouts. He dissected an 83-year-old dead lady and found what is described as a “blue, grape-like structure buried deep in the front wall of the vagina.”
That sounds … appealing. Keep reading »
Oh AshleyMadison.com, I thought that creating a dating website to promote adultery was the douchiest move any single site could make, but I stand corrected.
Today, you guys have managed to outdo yourselves by offering $1 million dollars to any woman who could prove she had sex with Tim Tebow. Really, guys? I understand that it is daring to point out the hypocrisy of others, but what happened to the good ol’ days when people’s private lives were, well, private? Who appointed you guys the moral police squad, anyways? I am pretty sure your site has perpetrated far worse crimes against morality than this dude’s virginity claim. Not to mention, how the heck would a girl be able to prove she had sex with Tim? Would a jock strap with his initials on it be adequate proof? If so, I’m coming by to collect that cash in a jiffy! Keep reading »
Modern American ladies are faced with a new phenomenon that has a real chuckle-worthy title coined by the Journal of Personality and Social Psychology: “choosing briefcase over baby.” Us girls are receiving 57 percent of all Bachelor’s degrees and 60 percent of all Masters’ degrees and we’re apparently rewarded for our efforts with a scarcity of “suitable” men to marry. When the ratio of degree-holding women to men drastically changes, women delay baby-making and instead go paper-chasing. Keep reading »
Six-year-old girl Salecia Johnson landed herself in the slammer recently after throwing a temper tantrum. Georgia police arrived at Creekside Elementary School where the kindergartener was accused of tearing items off the walls, throwing furniture and knocking down a bookshelf that “injured” the principal. When officials attempted to calm her, she “resisted,” so cops handcuffed and hauled her little booty downtown. (The police chief told the WMAZ local news that anyone transported to the station must be placed in cuffs while riding inside a cop car.) Salecia, pictured above, was charged with damage to property and simple assault and was suspended for the remainder of the school year. Keep reading »
My sister introduced me to the guy I’ve been dating for some months now. Our relationship could be summarized in two simple statements:
When I first saw him, my heart skipped a beat.
When he stuffed his tongue in my mouth, my eye twitched. Keep reading »
In my favorite scene from the movie “Bruno,” Bruno (a gay fashion reporter and wannabe superstar from Austria) sat down with a Christian “gay converter” to learn how he could turn himself heterosexual. He was advised to go hunting with three straight Southern dudes, who ended up chasing him down with a gun after he showed up naked, pack of condoms in hand, to one of their tents because a “bear had eaten everything.” He then attended a swingers party to familiarize himself with hetero sex. While there, he happily demonstrated several sex positions with another man but dived out of a window trying to escape a kinky woman. When he realized that his treatment wasn’t working, he sought another “ex-gay” counselor who basically told him he may never actually like women because they are “too weak and nag too much,” but he should at least “give women a chance.” Bruno tried desperately, but after many failed attempts, he just accepted that he liked dudes and there was nothing he could do about it.
Bruno, don’t take your failure personally. Keep reading »