Oh AshleyMadison.com, I thought that creating a dating website to promote adultery was the douchiest move any single site could make, but I stand corrected.
Today, you guys have managed to outdo yourselves by offering $1 million dollars to any woman who could prove she had sex with Tim Tebow. Really, guys? I understand that it is daring to point out the hypocrisy of others, but what happened to the good ol’ days when people’s private lives were, well, private? Who appointed you guys the moral police squad, anyways? I am pretty sure your site has perpetrated far worse crimes against morality than this dude’s virginity claim. Not to mention, how the heck would a girl be able to prove she had sex with Tim? Would a jock strap with his initials on it be adequate proof? If so, I’m coming by to collect that cash in a jiffy! Keep reading »
Modern American ladies are faced with a new phenomenon that has a real chuckle-worthy title coined by the Journal of Personality and Social Psychology: “choosing briefcase over baby.” Us girls are receiving 57 percent of all Bachelor’s degrees and 60 percent of all Masters’ degrees and we’re apparently rewarded for our efforts with a scarcity of “suitable” men to marry. When the ratio of degree-holding women to men drastically changes, women delay baby-making and instead go paper-chasing. Keep reading »
Six-year-old girl Salecia Johnson landed herself in the slammer recently after throwing a temper tantrum. Georgia police arrived at Creekside Elementary School where the kindergartener was accused of tearing items off the walls, throwing furniture and knocking down a bookshelf that “injured” the principal. When officials attempted to calm her, she “resisted,” so cops handcuffed and hauled her little booty downtown. (The police chief told the WMAZ local news that anyone transported to the station must be placed in cuffs while riding inside a cop car.) Salecia, pictured above, was charged with damage to property and simple assault and was suspended for the remainder of the school year. Keep reading »
My sister introduced me to the guy I’ve been dating for some months now. Our relationship could be summarized in two simple statements:
When I first saw him, my heart skipped a beat.
When he stuffed his tongue in my mouth, my eye twitched. Keep reading »
In my favorite scene from the movie “Bruno,” Bruno (a gay fashion reporter and wannabe superstar from Austria) sat down with a Christian “gay converter” to learn how he could turn himself heterosexual. He was advised to go hunting with three straight Southern dudes, who ended up chasing him down with a gun after he showed up naked, pack of condoms in hand, to one of their tents because a “bear had eaten everything.” He then attended a swingers party to familiarize himself with hetero sex. While there, he happily demonstrated several sex positions with another man but dived out of a window trying to escape a kinky woman. When he realized that his treatment wasn’t working, he sought another “ex-gay” counselor who basically told him he may never actually like women because they are “too weak and nag too much,” but he should at least “give women a chance.” Bruno tried desperately, but after many failed attempts, he just accepted that he liked dudes and there was nothing he could do about it.
Bruno, don’t take your failure personally. Keep reading »
A few months ago, I picked up a book called Is Marriage For White People? In it, author Ralph Richard Banks addressed the decline of successful black marriages in America. He attributed this to two factors: 1) African-American women attaining a higher level of education than their male counterparts, and 2) successful black men marrying outside of their race twice as much as within. So for simplicity’s sake, let’s just say that as soon as black men find success, they often marry outside their race, leaving behind a very small and mediocre dating pool to choose from. This lack of suitable, stable men in the black community forces women to either “marry down” or stay single, which limits opportunities for successful marriages.
With that being said, why has comedian Kevin Hart taken it upon himself to misrepresent the current and dyer situation by negatively and wrongfully stereotyping black women in this cartoon? Keep reading »
A couple months ago, I was excited to find out that scientists were busy “zapping balls” in hopes of finding an effective and safe birth control method for men. Well, I recently stumbled upon some more exciting news for the fellas who were a little weary of any procedure that involved the shocking of their testicles, but are still interested in taking responsibility for their own reproductive lives. A new male contraceptive has been under clinical trials in India, which boasts a 100 percent success rate — no zaps necessary! The method works by injecting something called Vasalgel into the penis, which annihilates sperm before they successfully complete their baby-making agenda. Okay, dudes, I know the excitement about this new birth control dwindled a little with the idea of taking a shot directly into your junk, but at least someone is thinking about giving you (and us ladies) more options. The procedure only takes 15 minutes, lasts up to 10 years and is easily reversible. Clinical trials are starting this year and the injection is expected to be available for us starting as early as 2015. Would you guys be interested in trying this new birth control injection? [Nerve]
Ladies, put down those books and pick up … well, don’t pick anything up. Just lay down. A recent study by a German lifestyle website found that smart chicks are less likely to enjoy sex! Sixty-two percent of women with university or higher education degrees reported difficulties achieving orgasm, compared with just 34 percent of non-degree holding women. Darn it! Had I known my path to a great sex life would be blocked by those damn literary classics and huge texts books, I would’ve just gotten my GED and called it a day. Keep reading »
Today in Call Me A Waaaah-mbulance News: Texas theater professor Linda Ozmun is suing her employer for citing her in an annual review for refusing to attend a gay-themed show performed by students back in 2010. Ozmun claims she refused to attend for religious reasons, but Lamar University wrote on her annual review in 2011 that not going to the students’ performance was “unacceptable.” Lamar also brought a performer to campus to perform a show and workshop dealing with subjects around homosexuality and Ozmun asked to be recused from attending; the school threatened her with disciplinary action if she did not go. Keep reading »