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#OnlineDatingFail: Masturbation Is Not An Appropriate Introductory Topic

The online dating scene is rough. Sure, it’s a great way to meet people, but we use the term “people” loosely, as some of the individuals we’ve come in contact with still seem to be in their primitive forms. Obviously, first impressions count … but not to these idiots.

Sender: 30, Male
Receiver: 27, Female
Site: OKCupid
Tip: “You should watch me jerk off sometime,” is not the new “We should have a drink sometime.” Do not expect to use it and get the same response … asshole.

Did someone send you a creeptastic or WTF message on a dating site? Take a screenshot of the message/your interaction and send it to us at onlinedatingfail@thefrisky.com. Include the info in the post above. (Don’t worry … if we choose to use it, it’ll be anonymous and we’ll make sure to guard all identifying information!)

13 Mature Fashion Icons (And How To Dress Like Them Now)

The other day, we were talking about mature women whose style we couldn’t wait to emulate … once we turned 50. But then it hit us: why wait!? You don’t to be in your golden years to pull off a fashion cape. You don’t need to have flowing, grey locks to wear a colorful head wrap. And you certainly don’t need cataracts to rock a fierce pair of statement sunglasses. Click through to see how to channel some of the amazing style that Anjelica Huston, Stevie Nicks, Dolly Parton, Christie Brinkley, Iris Apfel and other mature fashion icons are serving up daily!

11 Naturally Occurring Instances Of Tree Porn (SFW)

You might not have noticed, but trees can be seriously sexy.  Especially after inclement weather has its way with them. Who can say how this human-like branch person ended up humping a trunk, all we can do is marvel at the power and majesty of Mother Nature, pervert that she is. Click through to see some more trees caught in very compromising positions.

Drink Up! 12 Of Our Favorite Affordable Wines

Yesterday was National Drink Wine Day! In celebration, we got drunk, put together this list of our favorite wines under $15 and then passed out before we could post it on time! Typical. Click on for our recommendations…

15 Ridiculous Sexual Things Guys Actually Believe Women Do When They’re Not Around

Even the most rational men harbor irrational fantasies about what women do when they’re alone. We can blame porn for making them think we fondle each other’s boobs at slumber parties and high school urban legends for giving them the cockamamie idea that we’d let a dog eat JIF out of our vagina. Come on, now. Seriously? Guys, once and for all, we’d like to confirm that we have never and will never share our sex toys with each other, so you can just let that sweet lil’ image go. Here are some more things that we don’t do when you’re not there. We promise… Keep reading »

6 Sex Positions Inspired By Olympic Ice Dancers

It’s hard to understand the allure of certain winter Olympic sports. Like curling, for instance. We’d like to have a serious conversation with the person who invented the least eventful ice sport of all time (not including the funny pants they wear, which are sort of great). Ice dancing, on the other hand, is a pure delight to watch. We’re in awe of the skaters’ strength, flexibility, talent for contorting themselves into the most unintentionally suggestive positions. These world class athletes inspire us in all kinds of ways … including the bedroom. Here are some sex positions inspired by the ice dancers of the Sochi Olympics. Sequins and nude pantyhose not required, unless you’re into that kind of thing…

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