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Divorce Greatest Threat To The Ecosystem After Pollution

Going green has made its way to the bedroom. According to a new study conducted at Michigan State University, the divorce rate is taking its toll on the environment because single living spaces require as much energy as a shared home. From air conditioners to appliances, the strain on electricity production and natural resources has had a negative impact on all 11 countries that were studied. That, of course, includes our very own land of the free, which has attributed over 10 billion dollars a year in excess energy costs to 16.5 million single residences. So in the end, if enviro-windbags Larry and Laurie David were really serious about saving Mother Earth, they’d soldier on for eternity in the tormented hell of their loveless marriage. Keep reading »

Spanx You Very Much!

Oprah has admitted that she’s started to go panty-less. If that made you squirm, shake it off into a pair of her unseen favorite things: the new age girdles known as Spanx. The various styles of body wear, from footless tights to high-waisted undies, are designed to smooth cellulite, cinch waists, shape curves, and tighten your loose ends. The wonder for your down-unders was created by Atlanta entrepreneur Sarah Blakely and her brand has become an asset to women across America who want to look like they go to the gym. Even skinny minis like Gwyneth Paltrow, Kate Winslet, and Jessica Alba swear by Spanx. However, be warned, while they may smooth you, you have to be smooth yourself. The real trick here is getting the granny panties off before you get manhandled. [Spanx] Keep reading »

Save The Drama For Your Mama (Pitt)

While Brad Pitt is out saving the world, his mom is out to destroy his marriage. After a messy Thanksgiving in Missouri where Pitt’s gal, prissy philanthropist Angelina Jolie, refused to help cook and clean, Mama Pitt decided to call in kitchen reinforcements for Christmas: America’s sweetheart Jennifer Aniston. If Angie’s not going to roll up her sleeves to pitch in around the house, she maybe inclined to for a good Fight Club-style swing at Jennifer, the reigning mother-in-law champion. Supposedly, the holiday invitation news has pushed the big-mouthed beauty over the edge (well, even more over it), and now the only thing on thinner ice than their relationship is the drink Brad’s going to need to get through Christmas — literally. Keep reading »

Doctors Determine The Perfect Age To Get Laid

Much like you suspected in high school, your Sex Ed teacher was full of…outdated information. While you were tortured with a slew of un-scientific reasons why you had to keep it in your pants until marriage, help is finally here for the next generation of blue-balled teens. A study of a cross section of Americans that began in 1996 has concluded that people who started having sex too early or too late have a much higher chance of developing sexual dysfunction. While getting laid for the first time may be over oh-so-quickly, it turns out doing it between the average ages of 17 and 22 will keep you lovin’ long time. Now maybe health class can teach what you really need to know for good long-term sexual relations — how to find the clitoris. Keep reading »

J.Lo Hewitt’s Got Back

While on vacation in Hawaii with her fiancée, a bikini clad Jennifer Love Hewitt got her cellulite snapped by paparazzi and then ridiculed on the internet by sites like TMZ and Perez Hilton. Jennifer “just call me more to Love” Hewitt has fought back by openly admitting to liking her body and encouraging other woman to “put on a bikini — put it on and stay strong.” Hey, maybe she can Lance-ify this tragedy with a new Bikini Strong rubber bracelet. That’s something we can all get behind, even if it takes our itty-bitty bathing suits a few more months to come out for beach weather. Keep reading »

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