She leads a lonely life, but Britney Spears is still the Ace of Base. A new track just popped up on Youtube.com that has the baby pop-er sampling the classic nineties hit “All That She Wants.” The chorus lyrics (“All that she wants is another baby, she’s gone tomorrow boy”) explain Britney’s vicious cycle, but the truth finally sounds good! The remix is hot, way hotter than her questionable pap/skeezy boyfriend Adnan. In his Entertainment Tonight interview, the man with facial hair like a porn stars vajajay (hello, bacon strip!) discussed shopping for pregnancy tests with Brit earlier this month saying he thought she wanted to carry his child. Poor baby! Vh1’s Save the Music charity should buy Spears a box of condoms. [You Tube] Keep reading »
Profile for Simcha
Lose Your Virginity In Space
Virgin’s big dreamin’ billionaire, Richard Branson, just announced plans that could take the mile high club to a whole new level. The first passenger airline with plans to boldly go where only NASA has gone before, Virgin Galactic, is set to launch their 6-seater spaceship in 2009. For the low price of $200,000 a ticket, rich people will get the chance to lay other rich people in the shuttle’s outer space bathroom. What better way to spend your money than to get an astronaut to hit your G-spot in zero G’s? [Gizmodo] Keep reading »
Hot Piece Of Ass: President Josh Brolin
The alert in Hollywood has been raised to a code red for hottie attack! No Country for Old Men star Josh Brolin is slated to play George W. Bush in a new Oliver Stone biopic set to begin filming this coming April. Obviously the prez and the babe Brolin bare no resemblance in real life, but Josh is just the kind of bush we need in the Oval Office. Hopefully we’ll still be able to watch the thought-provoking look at the Commander-In-Chief on mute like it’s soft core porn. Now this is a president we’d like to intern for! Keep reading »
Bill Clinton Says He “Kind of Liked To See Barack And Hillary Fight”
Bill Clinton, distinguished former president, author, lawyer, oral sex aficionado, and humanitarian, has now become a fight promoter. While addressing a church crowd in Greenville, S.C., the potential first First Man suggested that he “kind of liked to see Barack and Hillary fight.” Whoa there tiger! As if the verbal mud slinging hasn’t been graphic enough, Bill seems to want his wife to literally mud wrestle a strapping black guy. Now that kind of smack down action would put the “raise” in fund-raising! So let’s fill up a kiddie pool and call it the next Democratic Debate. Bill Clinton still knows what the American people want! [The Huffington Post] Keep reading »
Studies Find Civil Unions and Marriage Equal
Aside from the usual defense that “it’s all pink in the middle,” researchers in Canada and the US monitored hundreds of couples to find out if there were any differences in the level of commitment between civil unions and marriage. The two studies published in the January issue of Developmental Psychology gathered evidence to support the integrity of civil unions and have challenged the traditional, truly antiquated, claim that same sex relationships are more dysfunctional than heterosexual ones. In one study, researchers working together from the Universities of San Diego, Vermont, and Washington found that, in general, same sex couples fought less and felt better about their partners than their heterosexual counterparts. Moreover, the study conducted at the University of Urbana-Champaign learned that lesbians were, “especially effective at resolving conflict.” Bonus points for the ladies! After years of scrutiny, both research teams concluded that gay couples in civil unions and married straight couples were equally committed to their romantic relationships. Now if only the rest of the world could see them as being created equal! [Forbes]
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Charlie Sheen vs. Denise Richards Part Deux
You think Charlie Sheen would try to avoid going to court…again. But this time the case isn’t against him! The TV star took his baby mama Denise Richards to trial over a reality show she wants to tape with their two toddlers. He is fighting the good fight, trying to keep his kids from the cameras — after all who better than Charlie Sheen to know what happens to celebrity kids. But unfortunately, the La-La land courts sided with Denise. She really knows how to put the ex in exploitative. Hey, if she plays her cards right, maybe she can get a spin off slot for her kids on Celeb Rehab! [TMZ] Keep reading »
Why We Love Yale Sluts
After years of studying and not getting laid just so they could get into Yale, some Zeta Psi recruits have officially blown their chances of ever enjoying a woman’s touch. The freshmen frat wannabes posted a picture on Facebook of themselves in front of the Women’s Center on campus with a sign that read, “We Love Yale Sluts”. The misogynistic mayhem culminated with a chorus of, “Dick! Dick! Dick!” (We’d expect more from the Ivy League, but bare in mind this is G.W. Bush’s alma mater.) Needless to say, the women on campus have pledged to never put out for Zeta Psi and the administration is debating whether they will sue for the inflammatory sign. Looks like sluts aren’t just well loved, they also rule the school. [Yale Daily News]
Cho ‘Nuff: Comedienne Comes To Britney’s Tampon’s Defense
Margaret Cho has a bleeding heart for Britney, and her vagina’s got something to say about it too. The comedienne lashes out at the paparazzi for taking a cheap shot of Britney flashing some period stained undies. To make matters better for the pop tart…or worse if you’ve got a Y chromosome, Cho goes on to describe her raging “Aunt Flow” for two paragraphs. She then serves up a tip like she’s the Martha Stewart of menses, suggesting saliva will remove the bloodstains. Gross, yet helpful. There, there Britney, now do you feel better? Maybe we should just look on the bright side — at least Britney’s finally wearing panties. [The Huffington Post] Keep reading »
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Divorce Greatest Threat To The Ecosystem After Pollution
Going green has made its way to the bedroom. According to a new study conducted at Michigan State University, the divorce rate is taking its toll on the environment because single living spaces require as much energy as a shared home. From air conditioners to appliances, the strain on electricity production and natural resources has had a negative impact on all 11 countries that were studied. That, of course, includes our very own land of the free, which has attributed over 10 billion dollars a year in excess energy costs to 16.5 million single residences. So in the end, if enviro-windbags Larry and Laurie David were really serious about saving Mother Earth, they’d soldier on for eternity in the tormented hell of their loveless marriage. Keep reading »
