Profile for Shannon Keating

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On Cosmopolitan‘s Lesbian Sex Guide: Thanks, But No Thanks

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Cosmopolitan, after almost 50 years of being one of the most aggressively heteronormative women’s publications from newsstand to screen, has finally decided to throw the queers a bone — specifically, 28 (ways to) bone, if you wanna get punnily Cosmo-esque — by publishing its first ever lesbian sex guide.

The NSFW slideshow up at Cosmopolitan.com has been garnering praise from mainstream media. “Finally,” said Salon.com, “Cosmo is reaching out to lesbians.” “Hurrah,” cheered Huffington Post UK. The coverage has accompanied acknowledgement of Cosmo’s recent forays into broader LGBTQ editorial content, with pieces like “8 Things Not to Say to a Transgender Person,” “14 Things You Should Never Say to a Gay Man,” and (the extremely wonderful) “My Life as an Invisible Queer.”

With wide circulation of the lesbian sex guide, Cosmo continues to ride a PR high on its perceived social progressivism. The Hollywood Gossip trilled the slideshow “will receive no criticism from any sane male OR female.”

So now, here I am, an Allegedly Crazy Female Gay, arriving right on cue to crash this positivity party. Keep reading »

The Soapbox: Why We Shouldn’t Assume Kristen Stewart Is A Lesbian

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I first fell in love with Kristen Stewart 10 years ago. I was 12.”Catch that Kid,” a classic of our times, has a criminal 12 percent rating on Rotten Tomatoes. Anyone who would review this film poorly is a joyless weirdo.

Stewart played Maddy, an adventurous tomboy whose skillset included climbing very tall things and emotionally manipulating boys. Her dad needed an expensive surgery, so she enlisted her two best guy friends to help her casually rob a bank. They aren’t feeling it at first, but then she gives each of them one half of a heart necklace with a promise that she loves him and doesn’t give a shit about the other guy. Bingo. Kristen Stewart’s Maddy is strategic, powerful, and a ruthless heartbreaker. 12-year-old me thought, What a dreamboat.

As far as mainstream kids’ movies go, “Catch that Kid” is a total queerfest. Maddy herself is an unfeminine little boss who is -20 percent interested in the romantic affection of preteen boys, while her mother is played by Jennifer Beals, aka “The L Word’”‘s power dyke, Bette. So, ever since Kristen Stewart was in this super great, super queer flop of a film, I’ve associated her with my own lesbian awakening – and I therefore feel weirdly protective whenever her real-life potential queerness comes into cultural question, and she’s run through the celebrity gossip meat grinder.

Which is happening now. Again. Keep reading »

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