Women who demand respect often get exactly that. And why shouldn’t they? We not only deserve it, we should expect it. But there’s a tipping point when a woman’s demands jump the shark from self-respecting to totally high maintenance, or, as I like to call it, highmay. There are the obvious one-name offenders: Madonna and her overnight full body saran wrapping, Cher and her multiple costume changes. And then there are women who demand maintenance in ways that are less obvious, but just as lethal. She is “the worst kind,” as Harry so clearly explained to Sally. “You’re high maintenance but you think you’re low.” So girls and guys, I’m going to be like your cool older sister who bought your sorry 15-year-old ass beer from the Quickmart and offer you a few tips on how to preemptively spot a high-maintenance girlfriend. Because those dudes I described yesterday have company. Gals, you can write your seemingly benign behaviors off as girly or cute, or you can see them for what they are—blinking red lights indicating you’re about to take the onramp to the highmay highway. Guys, ignore the warning signs at your peril—unless, of course, you’re a glutton for punishment; then ending up with a woman who’s just like your highmay mother is probably inevitable.
Love might be slightly less permanent than we’re taught to believe from fairy tales, but there are some things that last forever-ish. Like tattoos. History has shown that when celeb couples get matching tattoos, it’s a bad omen. Kelsey Grammer tempted fate this weekend when he he got his wife’s name “Kayte” inked on his waistline. Kayte Walsh didn’t go under the gun quite yet. Perhaps she’s planning to reciprocate with a matching tat once the twins are born … or once the ink is dry on his divorce papers. But once she does, they are in grave danger of splitting. I’m thinking tattoo parlors should instigate a rule where they only ink up celeb couples who have made it more than 20 years together, but then again, there’s always Susan Sarandon and Tim Robbins. I guess the celeb tattoo removal and cover-up business is good for the economy. We’ve rounded up couples who got ink together but didn’t stay together as a warning to Kelsey Grammer and Kayte Wlash … and all of us. Don’t do it, people! [People]
According to The National Enquirer, Rachael Ray’s husband, John Cusimano, is a regular patron of an exclusive, members-only NYC swingers club called Checkmate. What a great name, by the way. But back to their marriage. Cusimano was allegedly a member at Checkmate since before he married Ray seven years ago. Sources say he’s been spotted at the club at least six times, but never with Rachael.
“After a bit of socializing at the buffet and the bar, John would always make his way to the back room. And every time he was observed in the coed locker room, he never took a shower alone. He’d always stop by the club’s buffet before closing to grab a few bagels for the road.”
OK. I can no longer take this story seriously because of the bit about the bagels. He’s married to Rachael Ray, does he really need to pilfer bagels from a swingers club when he can just go home and have one of her 30-minute meals? I’m not buying it. Either way, having an open relationship is no big deal. Lots of couples do it successfully. Click through to see some more famous folks who are open to being open. [Dlisted]