Profile for Selena Coppock


Dealbreaker: The Guy Who “Forgot” His Wallet

Dealbreaker: The Mob
He was in The Mob. Read More »
Dealbreaker: Chipotle
He took her to Chipotle. Read More »
Dealbreaker: Hometown
He talked smack about her hometown and she was gone. Read More »

I feel like a traitor to my feminist values to admit this, but I expect the guy to pay for the first date. I know, I know!  That is the lone issue about which I’m a traditionalist and perhaps it comes from my father.  He has taught me myriad important lessons: respect for nature, how to ride a bike, and that men should always pay for the first date, no exceptions. My dad is a true product of the 1950′s and he has long instructed me to leave my wallet at home when I go on a first date (not figuratively—literally don’t bring any cash because the man should pay and that’s that). While I agree with my dad, I’ve chosen to ignore his suggestion and show up on first dates with my wallet … just in case. Keep reading »

Dealbreaker: I Got The Runs

Dealbreaker: Pee
He asked her to pee on him. It was not what she was expecting. Read More »
Pooping Etiquette
10 bathroom rules that couples should abide by. Read More »
Dealbreaker: Hometown
He talked smack about her hometown and she was gone. Read More »
Female Farts
Some common types of female farts. Read More »

I met Cute Train Guy en route back to New York just after Thanksgiving. (I’m nothing if not completely uncreative with my nicknames.) With the annual tradition of overcrowding and delays, Thanksgiving travel gives me major agita. So, that evening I was relieved to secure a window seat on the Amtrak train and beyond pleased when a cute guy sat down next to me. He was nerdy hot, with glasses and a quick wit. We hit it off and chatted the entire ride. The chemistry was great, but I kept kicking myself that I had left the house in such scrubby clothes and without a lick of makeup. “I’m normally much cuter than this,” I wanted to tell him, but I couldn’t because I was too busy blowing my nose and sneezing for two hours straight. I had been battling a wicked cold throughout the weekend and on my lap was a pile of tissues and throat lozenges, neither of which are an aphrodisiac, unfortunately.

But as the train pulled into Penn Station, he asked for my business card.

Ohh! I thought, Perhaps he’ll call and we can go out once I’m feeling better. Then I can make a better impression! Keep reading »

Dealbreaker: He Talked Smack About My Hometown

Dealbreaker: Pimp
He wanted her to be his pimp. Read More »
Dealbreaker: Dog
He brought a dog on the date. Read More »
Dealbreaker: No Dancing
He would not shake his groove thang. Read More »

Like Brigham’s Ice Cream, Dunkin’ Donuts, and Neco Wafers, I hail from Boston.  I am a proud native of Kickassachusetts and I will defend my hometown as though it’s my somewhat slutty younger sister–I can see her issues, but I will have her back to the death.

Right after college, I moved to Chicago and lived there for 10 months.  Around month six or seven, I decided that Illinois simply wasn’t for me—I don’t think that the Earth revolves around Big 10 football, I hate Bratwurst, and I can’t stomach mispronouncing “Versailles” as “Ver-Sales” on purpose.  I needed to get back to the right coast.  After I decided that I was going to move back to Boston, I had to stick it out in Chicago for a few more months to get through my apartment lease and receive a long-awaited and much-needed bonus from my nightmare paralegal job. Keep reading »

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