Profile for Sally McGraw

Girl Talk: Finding Body Acceptance At The Tattoo Parlor

Suddenly Curvy
One woman on loving her weight gain. Read More »
The Tattooed Lady
Life as a woman with a lot of ink. Read More »
Comfortable Curvy
She likes her bigger body better. Read More »

When I think of locales that are likely to offer me an onslaught of body-related judgment, I think of the beach, the bar, and the gym. I mean, body judgment is incredibly pervasive, but all three of those places are renowned breeding grounds for intense figure scrutiny, comparisons, and body-snarking. Recently, I discovered that my doctor’s office should be added to the list. Doctors are supposed to support and encourage us as we attempt to balance healthy lifestyle decisions with actual life events and pressures. But our country’s current obsession with obesity as the big, bad, magically all-encompassing factor in good health means that doctors feel perfectly comfortable judging patients based on weight alone. As someone who sits right on the BMI border of normal-overweight, I can tell you that when I cross over, I get lectured. Even if my crossover is a mere pound. No fooling.

It irks me to feel evaluated based on my body’s shape and size at the beach, the bar, and the gym. But it infuriates me to feel evaluated based on my body’s shape and size at the doctor’s office because I’m being evaluated by someone who actually knows more about my body and its overall health than the average casual observer. And I started to wonder if there are ANY places and situations that feel completely free of body judgment.  Keep reading »

Mirror, Mirror: The Price Of Looking Good

Beauty Investments
The five you need, right now. Read More »

Most conspiracy theories make me giggle. I’m a pretty open-minded gal, but the notion that the moon landing was faked strikes me as downright bizarre. However, I do believe that most major cosmetics and personal care products companies actively conspire against women. These corporations strive to manufacture discontent among women to convince them to buy new products, more products, complex systems of products to combat our apparent flaws. In many cases, the conspiracy goes even deeper, getting women hooked on certain cosmetics or procedures as mere gateways, eventually revealing that more costly versions will yield even better results. It’s a system that not only convinces women we’re undeniably imperfect, but also snows us into believing that our “imperfections” can be cured with products. And, of course, bales of money. Keep reading »

Girl Talk: Don’t Judge Me For Not Drinking

Dry Dater
I don't drink on dates anymore. Read More »
I Quit Drinking
no drinking photo
What happens when our author quit her epic boozing. Read More »
Drunk Is A Feminist Issue
Why women everywhere should be concerned about binge-drinking. Read More »

I ran with a pretty tame crowd as a high schooler. We considered it a wild night if  we’d wrapped a musical theater production and all piled into someone’s basement to watch the entire Star Wars trilogy on VHS and surreptitiously make out with each other. I liked it that way, and never sought out anything more raucous, so the first time anyone actually offered me a drink was in college. And when I say, “offered,” I mean, “forced me to consume through endless, irritating cajoling.” My housemates heard that I’d never been drunk and insisted that we do a shot together. It was some vile concoction called Black Haus, and knocking it back nearly made me gag. They pushed for another shot, but I stood my ground. I loved them, but I wasn’t going to guzzle a substance that tasted like blackberry-flavored cough syrup to prove it. Keep reading »

Girl Talk: Why I Ditched The Scale

Scale Return
Why Leonora brought a scale back into her home. Read More »
Suddenly Curvy
One woman on loving her weight gain. Read More »
Weight Talk
One writer is sick of talking to women about weight. Read More »

I started watching what I ate around third grade. A boy in my class had made a crack about my weight — an aspect of my physical self I’d never even pondered before — and, suddenly, I was self-conscious about and uneasy in my body. I didn’t dive into actual, formal diets until much later, but third grade marked the beginning of my weight obsession. An obsession that lasted beyond my college years. I won’t bore you with the details because honestly? They’re textbook self-loathing and body dysmorphia. My story could be anyone’s. Keep reading »

Girl Talk: My Husband And I Have Separate Bank Accounts

Cash & Coupling
Advice for when your S.O. takes a paycut. Read More »
Female Breadwinners
Amelia would be happy to bring home the bacon. Read More »
Privilege Of Marriage
Andrea Grimes knows she is privileged to be able to marry. Read More »

My husband is my best friend in the world. I’m sure I’ve caused several cavities just by saying so, and can hear a few of you making gagging noises through my computer screen right now. But hey, it’s true. He’s amazing and he understands me better than anyone. He’s the only person who doesn’t annoy the crap outta me after long periods of time, and he laughs at all of my jokes. He’s also totally hot and you should all be extremely jealous.

That said, I have absolutely no desire to share my spending habits with him.  Keep reading »

5 Reasons To Wear Color With Color

Give A Compliment!
Here are seven reasons to compliment a total stranger. Read More »
New Year, New You
Everything you need to kick 2012 off right. Read More »

I remember the first time I was told that black and white should only be worn with … each other. Maybe a little gray or brown, if you’re feeling crazy. I scraped my jaw off the floor, snickered, and promptly dismissed this restrictive advice as total bunk. 

But it lingered in my brain. And, over time, I began to notice that color-on-color pairings looked richer, livelier, and more sophisticated than color-on-neutral pairings. When several shades are combined in carefully crafted ensembles, the colors look their best and so do their wearers. This isn’t to say that colors should NEVER be worn with neutrals. Oh hell no. There are plenty of ways to create intentional mixes that include both colors and black or white. Or both, or other neutrals. But I believe that learning to pair multiple colors is a skill worth cultivating, especially as The Frisky celebrates New Year, New You month. Here’s why… Keep reading »

7 Reasons You Should Compliment Total Strangers

Guys To Date
Here are 18 guys you should give a shot in 2012. Read More »
January's Luckiest Days!
Find out which days are best for your sign this month! Read More »
Do Not Date These Guys
12 guys you shouldn't date in 2011. Read More »

Ours is an increasingly insular society. Hop on the subway and you’ll see dozens of people plugged into their phones. Sit down in a cafeteria and you’ll observe dozens more absorbed by e-readers and magazines. Head to the mall and you’ll be hard-pressed to find anyone who wants to talk with, look at, or even open the door for you. And that’s fine: The people and activities we love always get prioritized above the general public. But here are a handful of surprising and compelling reasons why you should consider reaching out to strangers — not just to speak with them, but to compliment them. Keep reading »

The Soapbox: Fashion Policing Can Be Brutal

The Soapbox
Ladies, you're sexy without the high-heels. Read More »
Fast Fashion
Let's talk about Forever 21 and other fast fashion retailers. Read More »
Comfortable Curvy
She likes her bigger body better. Read More »

A note about this piece: The Frisky obviously regularly features our own brand of celebrity fashion policing (The Good, The Bad & The WTF, generally). When Sally, who regularly writes for us, pitched me this topic, I thought she had a valid point, one that many share and that she would argue well. Having her piece appear on The Frisky, I hope, further illustrates that we’re a forum for a variety of opinions, even those that, at times, might seem contrary to each other. Her piece certainly gave me food for thought. — Editor

Go Fug Yourself was the first fashion blog I ever read. Hell, it might’ve been the first blog I ever read period. And it was hilarious, refreshing, a bright spot in my daily grind that prompted illicit giggles at the expense of misguided celebs and their lunatic stylists. When I first launched my own blog – which discusses the intersection of style and body image — I popped GFY right into my blogroll without even thinking about it. Fashion! Funny fashion! Of course I wanted their stuff associated with my stuff! Especially since, at the time, I felt that celebrities had no excuses to dress badly: They had all the money and resources in the world, and were professionally pretty. The occasional experimental high-style gaffe? OK. Slogging around in sweatsuits and expressing outrage at the resultant public scrutiny? Childish and idiotic. Keep reading »

Girl Talk: Why I’ll Never Play In Another Band With My Husband

Ladies Rock Camp
A first person essay from a woman who went to rock camp. Read More »
How Men Fight
The things we don't understand about the way men fight. Read More »
Office Romance
The dos and don'ts of dating someone you work with. Read More »

When I was 25 years old, I was in a band. It was a dinky little coffeeshop folk-rock band, but MAN it was fun. I had just enough skill to compose but not enough to accompany myself, so I made embarrassing recordings of half-formed songs, brought them to my bandmates, and we workshopped them together. You know how being the lead singer of a band looks really fun? Well, it IS. Seriously. Keep reading »

Girl Talk: I Went On A Shopping Ban … And It Backfired

I’m fairly certain that I have an addictive personality. I’ve avoided drugs, gambling, cigarettes, and alcohol based on those suspicions, and likely will continue to do so until my dying day. But I got blindsided by my own addictive tendencies when I discovered the joys of personal style. After years of hating my body, I finally figured out that I could look and feel fabulous if I simply dressed to highlight my favorite physical features. It was an absolute revelation, and sparked a new-found, fervent love of clothing, shoes, and accessories. Soon, I fell into some pretty ridiculous and harmful shopping behaviors, the repercussions of which came to a head about three years ago. I had allowed my debt to grow exponentially over several seasons of frenzied acquisition. I’d begun making mental bargains with myself about how another $200 on the ol’ MasterCard wouldn’t make THAT much of a difference in my monthly payment, and I definitely needed those new Frye boots before fall arrived. I’d dug myself into quite a hole, and felt utterly incapable of clawing my way out. Keep reading »