When my boyfriend and I were 24, the topic of marriage began appearing before us everywhere. There, at our dinner-table, the word ‘marriage,’ as we sat talking. ‘Marriage,’ on my lips as we sat on the couch with a glass of wine. Everyone says “you just know” and I guess that is true, but there is also a lot of just “yeah, it does feel right.” Then falling—sure you’ll be caught by clouds. Keep reading »
I am in an open marriage. I know what you are probably thinking because, the first time a friend said this to me, I quickly felt myself growing judge-y. My knee-jerk thought was, She’s just doing this to please her husband. How sad. And then, Oh, they must want raise their kids commune-style. Can’t relate. But now, years later, I’ve realized that every relationship is unique, and it’s about finding what works for you.
So far, I’ve found a way to make my relationship with my husband, Edmund, keep its charm, passion, intimacy and commitment. And it has happened by opening the gates. Keep reading »
There’s that scene in “Mean Girls” where Tina Fey, exasperated by the high school antics, shouts, “You’ve got to stop calling each other sluts and whores. It just makes it okay for guys to call you sluts and whores.” I had just graduated from high school when the movie came out and sitting in the theater, I couldn’t believe how much this line resonated for me. All of a sudden, I was transported back to those halls I’d just escaped. I could hear the cool girls greeting each other at their lockers with the words, “What up, sluuuuut?”
Reclaiming words like bitch and slut may have started as something political, something third wave feminist, but the words ended up in malls, emblazoned in rhinestones on baby tees at Deb and Rave. Keep reading »
Today, the word ‘douche’ is synonymous with ‘old school product we don’t actually need.’ Ads for douches seem to be laced with the intent to harm women’s self-esteem, not to mention our vaginas, as douching can actually cause infections. But these ads have an interesting history. Did you know that douche was originally considered a birth control method, back when birth control was illegal? Because of this, it was socially camouflaged as a “hygiene product.” From there, the ads evolved into mothers and daughters with cable-knit sweaters tied around their shoulders, having talks about “feminine odor” on the beach. After the jump, take a look at the history of douching and douche advertisements—which, to this day, are still trying to convince women that a Lysol-flavored vagina is a good thing.
It starts early. Little girls give each other broken heart necklaces for their birthdays while boys have paintball parties. While boys are encouraged to participate in sports and group activities, us girls are pushed to more one-on-one activities like tea parties or making Barbies have sex under a blanket. Studies show that there are different friendship styles for boys and girls. In one, when middle school girls were faced with the prospect of meeting a new friend, their brains lit up in areas associated with pleasure and reward. Boy brains’ just didn’t do the same thing.
My “anecdotal evidence” from the field? Over the years, I could actually feel my brain light up when it became clear that a new friend would earn the title of “best.” I’ve learned that these relationships are just as valuable as any amorous one and that they do indeed have their own sense of romance.
For me, they also bring about a whole lot of crazy. Keep reading »